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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be unbelievably pissed off

125 replies

Pistwe · 02/11/2019 22:49

Travelled 3.5 hours to see OHs friends for the weekend . Toddler and heavily pregnant .

Left early Quick pasty lunch on motorway Plus sand which for toddler .

Arrive straight to OH friends . Sit for a bit . Agreed before we left that toddler ( and I ) must eat a proper meal before we go to an outdoors event .

Long story short . Didn’t get a proper meal as he didn’t plan properly and no time to eat and seemed happy to let eating go , couldn’t make scene in front of his friends . My toddler has had a bag of chips for tea . The half hour event actually lasted three hours in the freezing cold . The toddler has gone to sleep without eating . We are still waiting for some food , and I feel sick .

AIBU for being completely pissed off with him for making us miss a meal and keeping us outside in the fucking freezing cold for hours longer than we were told .

Do men know what the fuck pregnancy feels like .

OP posts:
EleanorReally · 02/11/2019 23:23

it sounds fine as a one off op

Cohle · 02/11/2019 23:24

It sounds like the friends were being rude, not your OH. I'd be pretty uncomfortable insisting my friends serve up a meal if that clearly wasn't what they were planning.

Original poster
Pistwe · 02/11/2019 23:24

No , OH refused to let me take the pushchair for the toddler !!! Said that the toddler can walk . He’s always fucking doing that I’m sick of it . The kid gets tired . It’s fucking 8 pm at night and past the kids bed time . And OH thinks the kid should be fucking walking . It’s ridiculous

OP posts:
Butterisbest · 02/11/2019 23:24

You're definitely not being unreasonable and your DH is a thoughtless idiot. No, men don't know what it's like to be pregnant but try and let it go now, it's done and no real harm has come to you or your toddler.
I hope you have a better day tomorrow [Flowers

Singlenotsingle · 02/11/2019 23:25

I think it was OH who refused to let her bring the pushchair. He should have carried the toddler then.

Original poster
Pistwe · 02/11/2019 23:26

Thanks butterisbest

You are right x

OP posts:
Butterisbest · 02/11/2019 23:26

If there is a next time, tell your DH to fuck off with the no pushchair shit.

TeaForTara · 02/11/2019 23:26

I read it as her OH wouldn’t let her take the pushchair, not the toddler.

OP I’d be really annoyed but I would have refused to go to the event until I had eaten as you had made it clear beforehand that evening meal wasn’t optional.

BarbourellaTheCoatzilla · 02/11/2019 23:27

Eh, did the toddler have chips or not? If not why? Chips would have been better than nothing.

Wolfiefan · 02/11/2019 23:29

Leave him to deal with an overtired toddler. He won’t be so thoughtless in future OP.

FreshStart01 · 02/11/2019 23:30

I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that friend is also male, no wife and def no kids? YABU to expect two males who haven't seen each other for a while to prioritise your needs over their fun, and to think that you and toddler eating properly is as important as you think it is. Your OH may have been super attentive to your every need during first pregnancy but that evaporates by second pregnancy, believe me. That doesn't mean I don't think you shouldn't be pissed off and give him hell when you'd discussed it beforehand, just that you may want to lower your expectations a lot and take full responsibility for your meals going forward to avoid further disappointment. A portion of chips for tea once in a while won't do your toddler any harm, but imagine you're feeling pretty crap with an empty stomach.

Original poster
Pistwe · 02/11/2019 23:33

Read the thread fresh start .

OP posts:
EverRenEssence · 02/11/2019 23:33

Toddler isn't bothered clearly as he's gone to sleep, as a one off it's not going to hurt.

Why didn't you speak up and just tell your DP that you were not going to the event until you'd got some food? Were there no shops around? You could have stopped at a service station to stock up during a 3.5 hour trip.

FreshStart01 · 02/11/2019 23:34

Just read wife and newborn. She probably left it to husbsnd who thought nothing of it.

Original poster
Pistwe · 02/11/2019 23:34

Who drives 3.5 hours to attend an event and has no plan for a fucking meal when they have a young child and a pregnant wife ? Agreed next time I tell him to fuck off and take the kid and the car and piss off .

OP posts:
BillHadersNewWife · 02/11/2019 23:37

I see it's awful but there's nothing wrong with a bag of chips for a toddler...it's filling. What's the deal with not having a proper meal once in a while? No harm done.

I do remember the sick feeling of not eating when pregnant though...which is why I don't understand why you didn't eat some chips.

FreshStart01 · 02/11/2019 23:37

Sorry, thread grew quicker than my typing! Def put OH on morning duty and feign pregnancy-related illness so you can have a bit of a lie in :-) Hopefully he'll be eating humble pie by then.

basicbitch16 · 02/11/2019 23:39

Did you not know timings OP? So 3.5 hours driving, plus more than enough time to get food plus time to get to event?

If I was in that situation, I would want to know plans & make sure I could get food for me & toddler.

Butterymuffin · 02/11/2019 23:39

In terms of him stopping you taking the pushchair, I would absolutely insist, and say otherwise I was going home. If he would physically stand in the way of you taking the pushchair, then you have an even higher level problem with him.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 02/11/2019 23:39

Why is it up to him to plan dinner? Can’t you?

Original poster
Pistwe · 02/11/2019 23:40

He just wanted to go along wi Th what his friends were doing . Didn’t matter what the rest of us felt like . Really regret coming and won’t come next time .

Worst is yet to come . He even tried to cancel the hotel breakfast because his friends wanted to meet for brunch !!!

Is he NOT THINKING that our kid wakes up at 7am looking for breakfast .

What does he want us to do ? STARVE ?

OP posts:
holidays987 · 02/11/2019 23:42

I'm pregnant too and would feel quite unwell if I'd only eaten something small in the morning, driven & been out all day with no proper meal. So I do agree with you. Though I would have insisted on leaving to and get something to eat & sit down. 3.5hrs is a long time standing in the cold. I'd have just wanted to get out of there.

Notodontidae · 02/11/2019 23:44

Some people can go without food for a long time, and have a slap-up meal at a wrong time when most of us are going to bed. This happens to me a lot, some people are not only thoughtless, they eat rubbish food, and can put off eating. Remember this day so it wont happen again, either prepare food that you can take, or be more authorititive when it comes to your meal times. I can understand your frustration YANBU, and I wouldn't blame you if next time you decide not to go.

basicbitch16 · 02/11/2019 23:44

Ok I can see what's happening here. He's dragged you both along to something he should have gone to alone, with zero consideration for his heavily pregnant oh & his toddler.

I read earlier posts like you were away for a weekend together & you expected him to time the entire weekend to ensure you ate & you didn't need to have any input. 100% he's being a prick

basicbitch16 · 02/11/2019 23:46

Pistwe He even tried to cancel the hotel breakfast because his friends wanted to meet for brunch !!!

Is he NOT THINKING that our kid wakes up at 7am looking for breakfast .

This is the most cuntish behaviour of all & I would be asking what the FUCK he was playing at. Relationship on a thread at this point.