To think that match betting is still gambling

[Firstimer703]

Earlier on, I sat down with my husband and son for a family breakfast. A minute or so in, DH took his phone out and when I said about not having phones at the table (as I thought we agreed), he basis he had to put a bet on. I said I didn't think that was a good reason and he wouldn't be happy if I did it and I didn't think he'd let DS do it in the future. He completely kicked off, shouting at me in front of DS and being very aggressive.

He's been doing match betting which I've asked him not to do from the start. He told me today he's disappointed that I'm not interested and haven't listened when he's tried to explain. When he has to put a bet on during a 10 minute breakfast with his family and the reason is that he'll lose money if he doesn't, it looks like addiction to me! AIBU?

Apart from the first few bets you place, matched betting is reusing the money you have earned from the free bets. You can start matched betting with as little as £10 of your own money so very little risk.
My outlook on mistakes is if I make one and lose a bit of that money, I'm still better off than not having done any matched betting at all. I'm still in profit. It's not like gambling all your life savings and losing it all, not in the slightest.

All the defensiveness about matched betting on here is ridiculous. Why are some posters so invested in denying that the DH might have an issue? If the pursuit of someone's hobby/occupation is making them angry and argumentative with their loved ones then it's a problem, no matter what it is. And getting angry about betting is a big red flag.

And yes, I know what matched betting is, thanks. I tried it and got sucked into other types of gambling (as these sites are very efficiently designed to try to do to people) and nearly fucked up my family's finances. It's easy to say don't do it if you're vulnerable to this kind of thing, but you don't necessarily know if you are until it's too late!

Because Useless despite being told time and again that matched betting is not gambling some posters are bizarrely tying themselves in knots to claim the opposite without doing any research.

Also why would the DH of the OP have a gambling problem? That's like arbitrarily assuming someone has a drink problem because they like a lager. I imagine he lashed out because he was being nagged at like a child by someone accusing him of gambling addiction when he needed to actually concentrate and ensure he didn't lose money

All the defensiveness about matched betting on here is ridiculous. Why are some posters so invested in denying that the DH might have an issue?

Why do you assume that they are "invested"?! This is AIBU. OP has asked whether people who are doing MB are gambling or are addicted and people are saying no and explaining why.

If the pursuit of someone's hobby/occupation is making them angry and argumentative with their loved ones then it's a problem, no matter what it is. And getting angry about betting is a big red flag.

It is a problem but that doesn't mean the solution is for the spouse to stop doing the hobby/occupation. In this case the problem may be solved with a change in attitude by OP towards the hobby (by reading up on it) and a discussion on whether it is worth delaying breakfast for 10 minutes to make £20 or whatever the potential winning would be.

If the pursuit of someone's hobby/occupation is making them angry and argumentative with their loved ones then it's a problem, no matter what it is. And getting angry about betting is a big red flag.

All the defensiveness about matched betting on here is ridiculous. Why are some posters so invested in denying that the DH might have an issue?

Why do you assume that they are "invested"?! This is AIBU. OP has asked whether people who are doing MB are gambling or are addicted and people are saying no and explaining why.

If the pursuit of someone's hobby/occupation is making them angry and argumentative with their loved ones then it's a problem, no matter what it is. And getting angry about betting is a big red flag.

It is a problem but that doesn't mean the solution is for the spouse to stop doing the hobby/occupation. In this case the problem may be solved with a change in attitude by OP towards the hobby (by reading up on it) and a discussion on whether it is worth delaying breakfast for 10 minutes to make £20 or whatever the potential winning would be.

Loads of bold fails.

Lots of people come onto MN to ask questions about things they don’t know, which they could look up on google etc. Would be a very quiet site if people did that!

To me if you have to change a meal time so you can place a bet, or rudely use your phone whilst talking to a cashier, there does seem to be an element of addiction to it. Where does that stop? Watching a play your DC is in, ignore the bit they are in as you could make £200, miss the vows at your friend’s wedding because you could make £500. Get angry at your partner if they suggest some of the above are not suitable. All seem to suggest a problem to me.

UselessTrees just because you have an addiction problem doesn't mean that others do or will. It also doesn't mean that matched betting is gambling

I sold some old crap on eBay, made £75 and used that to start MB about a year ago. I made £3k in 2 months.

My husband thought it was gambling too and didn’t want me to do it but did the courtesy of listening to my explanation.

I stopped when I went back to work after mat leave as I just don’t have the time for it.

It’s not gambling but as soon as you think taking the odd risk is worth it then you are at the start of a problem.

My MB paid for last Christmas, the first month of childcare and some new clothes. Fab.

To you declare and pay tax on the money you make?

@ineedaholidaynow

It's legally tax free money

To me if you have to change a meal time so you can place a bet, or rudely use your phone whilst talking to a cashier, there does seem to be an element of addiction to it. Where does that stop? Watching a play your DC is in, ignore the bit they are in as you could make £200, miss the vows at your friend’s wedding because you could make £500. Get angry at your partner if they suggest some of the above are not suitable. All seem to suggest a problem to me.

Would you think someone had a problem if they missed these things because they worked some overtime shifts to make extra money?

If it’s tax free then I assume it falls within gambling laws and not employment income

It is tax free afaik. (well, in the UK. But your gambling laws are fairly liberal anyway...)

Anyhow. The OP's husband did something that was apparently against family rules and screamed at the OP when she mentioned that...

something seems to be wrong. And yes, I'd say the same if it wasn't matched betting.

If it’s tax free then I assume it falls within gambling laws and not employment income

Yes... and?

I think a potential issue is the relatively easy ability to make money whilst still having family life.

Most people have jobs that they go to, earn some money and come home, There is not the opportunity to earn extra money in the evening or the weekend at the drop of a hat.

With MB, it's different. You can logon at any time, see an offer and make some money. There is always the opportunity to make money, and there is potentially a lot of money to be made.

If you don't take that opportunity, you are potentially losing out on easy money. In theory, you could be on all day and make lots of money. A very addictive way to make money.

It also has the potential to disrupt family life as there is no separation- unlike with work and family life.

I can see how some people would get annoyed if they were stopped from making money easily - and I can see how people can get annoyed if it starts to interfere with family life.

Would you think someone had a problem if they missed these things because they worked some overtime shifts to make extra money

I suppose it depends on how much the overtime was interfering with the family life balance.

I have an extra job and could make a lot more money if I did lots more work. It's very lucrative.

However, it also interferes with family life and my social life. If I don't work in the evening, I potentially 'lose' money because I haven't taken the opportunity to earn it. I could earn a lot more money, but I have other responsibilities as well.

I can see how some people would get annoyed if they were stopped from making money easily - and I can see how people can get annoyed if it starts to interfere with family life.

Yes I can see that, and I think that's down to couples to agree to discuss and compromise. But I don't think it means the person doing the matched betting has a gambling or addiction problem just because they want to take up every offer. It's no different to someone wanting to take up every opportunity of overtime and then needing to compromise if it impacts on family time and the other partner isn't happy about it.

Anyhow. The OP's husband did something that was apparently against family rules and screamed at the OP when she mentioned that...

It sounds as if the child is too young to use a mobile phone so why would there be a "family rule"? In a normal partnership you don't have rules which must be obeyed. You might have agreements but I doubt that the DH has said that he would never touch his phone at the table no matter what. That wouldn't make sense as there will always be situations that are more important than eating cereal together.

A minute or so in, DH took his phone out and when I said about not having phones at the table (as I thought we agreed), he basis he had to put a bet on.

The OP did at least assume that it was indeed a rule of behaviour they had both agreed on.

And even if there was no agreement whatsoeve:
He completely kicked off, shouting at me in front of DS and being very aggressive.? still wouldn't be acceptable. Not at all....

@Firstimer703 you say "I wondered what others thought about this betting" then you say "I do understand it but think these sites are dodgy, DH is sucked in and it is affecting his behaviour. Also, he said I haven't listened or tried to understand- this doesn't mean I don't understand how it works."

No. You very clearly don't understand how it works. Or how lucrative this could be for your family. "Dodgy" why? I'm not doing anything "dodgy".

@ineedaholidaynow what's your point?

The OP did at least assume that it was indeed a rule of behaviour they had both agreed on.

She assumed that they agreed but that doesn't mean she was correct and it certainly doesn't mean it is a family rule. They need to have a discussion on when it is and isn't appropriate to match bet and she needs to find out more about what it involves.

He completely kicked off, shouting at me in front of DS and being very aggressive.? still wouldn't be acceptable. Not at all....

Yes, it is never good to shout although I can understand why he was very annoyed if OP refuses to listen to him.

crusty many of you are saying it is like a form of employment/self employment eg no different than taking on an extra shift at work. So I assume it is possible that HMRC will take that approach at some point and not treat it as gambling income (which I assume is how they normally treat it). A bit like if you sell a few things on eBay you don’t have to declare it but if you start selling regularly they can treat it as a trade and therefore taxable.

If you are always going to make a profit and there is no risk, then I can’t see HMRC ignoring that loophole for long.

If you are always going to make a profit and there is no risk, then I can’t see HMRC ignoring that loophole for long.

I can as it would be a lot of effort and perhaps impossible for them to distinguish between money made from MB and ordinary gambling. They don't tax professional poker players even though they can earn a lot so I doubt they would bother with MB either.