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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think that match betting is still gambling

205 replies

Firstimer703 · 02/11/2019 11:46

Earlier on, I sat down with my husband and son for a family breakfast. A minute or so in, DH took his phone out and when I said about not having phones at the table (as I thought we agreed), he basis he had to put a bet on. I said I didn't think that was a good reason and he wouldn't be happy if I did it and I didn't think he'd let DS do it in the future. He completely kicked off, shouting at me in front of DS and being very aggressive.

He's been doing match betting which I've asked him not to do from the start. He told me today he's disappointed that I'm not interested and haven't listened when he's tried to explain. When he has to put a bet on during a 10 minute breakfast with his family and the reason is that he'll lose money if he doesn't, it looks like addiction to me! AIBU?

OP posts:
WomensRightsAreContraversial · 02/11/2019 13:36

So it's not gambling in the same way that eating a free chocolate sample is dieting...

Are you on glue?!

sumolt · 02/11/2019 13:43

You sit down for breakfast as a family?

How very quaint.

Actually I am just jealous because I do the fast 800. Plus we are all never hungry at the same time.
It is possible to spend family time together and it not involve food.

PuzzledObserver · 02/11/2019 13:50

@crustycrab

Now you want her to get into a debate about the morality of it

If she wants to, she can. If she doesn’t, she won’t. Same for anyone else on this thread.

What’s the problem with pointing out the actual source of the profit which matched betters are making? If people know that and they’re OK with it, they’ll carry on.

Hefzi · 02/11/2019 14:00

FreshPrincess I agree completely. I'm an economist, and very numerate as a result, and would love to do matched betting BUT I am highly prone to poor impulse control and not being able to stop, and I think I would give in to temptation to start other betting etc if I was on sites daily or whatever. I've been compulsive with spending (which is partly why it appeals!), alcohol (no longer drink), sex (abstain completely) and food (have BED). I have a horrible feeling that matched betting wouldn't end well for me or those with similar personalities Grin

I am horsy, and very good at winning on course at the races. I have a rule I never bet off course, and make sure I leave all my cards at home and only take a tenner per race on the card. I also now never go racing unless I really can't get out of it, because the itch is always there - going on to bookies' sites would not only break my "no off course" rule, but open me up to all sorts of temptation that I don't have the confidence I would be able to resist long term. Sad but true - never tried drugs for the same reason.

In op's case, the issue is not whether or not mb is gambling (and I agree that it's betting but not gambling per se, though I realise it is a fine distinction...) but whether money justifies the breaking of a house rule, and whether it allows her husband to speak to her like that.

I think both cases, it's the thin end of the wedge, and in both cases, the answer is "no".

crustycrab · 02/11/2019 14:03

There's no problem pointed that out, I'd have thought it was fairly obvious.

My point is that the op has refused to listen to her husband repeatedly when he's tried to explain exactly what matched betting is. She's asked him not to do something that will bring an easy, legitimate and tax free income into their home. Asked him not to without even trying to understand the basics, how dismissive is that? She's then accused him of gambling. And still refused to try and understand what he's actually doing.

She isn't going to be capable of debating the morality of matched betting if she doesn't understand what it is. No problem with you pointing out where profits come from but seriously, what's the point?

PettyContractor · 02/11/2019 14:04

Am I alone in sympathising with the DH in this? First he gets told how to behave by his spouse, as if he were a naughty child. Then, when he says it can't wait, she doubles down on the bossing him. Even setting aside the annoyance of a spouse bossing you about, imagine if they were doing it on the basis of wrong facts, after having previously deliberately refused to listen when you've tried to explain it to them. Also, from what people have said, he may have been under time pressure, so he's literally at risk of losing money because the clueless person who's harassing him won't shut up and let him concentrate. (OK, that last bit is speculative.)

Exploding with anger is never good, but I do think he was mightily provoked.

woodchuck99 · 02/11/2019 14:06

Am I alone in sympathising with the DH in this?

No, loads of people sympathise with him! OP sounds bossy and irritating to me as do some of the other posters

crustycrab · 02/11/2019 14:09

I agree @PettyContractor sounds like he's tried to constantly explain and op is just no no no. Won't listen but benefits from the money!

@Hefzi "the issue is not whether or not mb is gambling" it is for her DH though who is being accused of gambling when he isn't and is not being given the opportunity to explain why this is.

And as a side note, hefzi I would say that anything that sees you on a gambling site might not be for you. But many matched bettors simply don't have that personality. It sounds like op's DH is one of them. If he hadn't placed that bet at that time (being an in play offer) he would've actually been gambling.

In a nutshell he needed to place that vet at that time to ensure he wasn't gambling. Then his wife accuses him of gambling. Oh the irony

MintyMabel · 02/11/2019 14:10

OP sounds bossy and irritating to me as do some of the other posters

Yes, how dare she want him to put his phone down and spend time with his family.

woodchuck99 · 02/11/2019 14:11

In op's case, the issue is not whether or not mb is gambling (and I agree that it's betting but not gambling per se, though I realise it is a fine distinction...) but whether money justifies the breaking of a house rule, and whether it allows her husband to speak to her like that.

You make it sounds like OP is the parent and her DH is a child with your "house rule" comment. It's not up to her to make rules that he has to follow. He obviously doesn't agree that everyone eating cereal is more important than making some money for the family and his opinion is as valid as hers.

PettyContractor · 02/11/2019 14:12

To the people who think "work" shouldn't impinge on family time, there's a difference between a work demand being met when it makes no financial difference, which is probably the situation for most people, and actually losing money because of the rule. Could you all state how much money you would be willing to give away in order to stop someone spending ten minutes on their phone during a meal? Would you pay £10 to have their attention? £50? More?

The matched betting amounts must be significant within the context of family finances, or he wouldn't bother doing it.

PettyContractor · 02/11/2019 14:14

Yes, how dare she want him to put his phone down and spend time with his family.

She didn't just "want", she told him, and then continued to tell him some more after he said no.

woodchuck99 · 02/11/2019 14:14

Yes, how dare she want him to put his phone down and spend time with his family.

Assuming it only takes a few minutes it won't prevent him from spending time with his family though will it? It just means it won't happen at exactly the time OP wants it to happen.

MummytoCSJH · 02/11/2019 14:26

As above. Not gambling as long as you understand what you are doing. You were rude and he is not your child to boss around.

PuzzledObserver · 02/11/2019 14:32

No problem with you pointing out where profits come from but seriously, what's the point?

Other people are reading the thread apart from the OP. It’s possible some of them haven’t thought through where the profits ultimately come from - I’ve seen plenty of posts describing matched betting as either free money or beating the bookies (as though it was the bookies’ own money they were taking.). It is neither.

Anyway, I’m going to leave this alone after this. I’ve made my point three times now. If nobody had commented, I’d have left it alone after one. Have a good day.

Hefzi · 02/11/2019 14:36

I think it's perfectly fine to have house rules, woodchuck- it's not about being parental, it's about living together. My parents have a no smoking home - DB goes outside to smoke; I live part of the year where firearms are legal, and I have a "no weapons at the table" rule. I am sure plenty of families have no screens rules, and the OP doesn't make it sound as though it was a unilateral imposition Confused. As PP said, surely all he had to was to excuse himself from the table to make the bet - rule upheld, everyone is OK, plus something he knows pushes OP's buttons, rightly or wrongly, isn't shoved down her throat.

MitziK · 02/11/2019 14:36

I would actually bet that he isn't Match Betting at all and that he's actually gambling.

woodchuck99 · 02/11/2019 14:41

I think it's perfectly fine to have house rules, woodchuck- it's not about being parental, it's about living together.

It is about being parental if one person is making the rules and the other person is expected to follow them. It's not the same as your parents having a no smoking house at all as presumably both your parents have decided this is the rule rather than one parent telling the other what to do as in this case.

crustycrab · 02/11/2019 14:44

@MitziK you would bet that he is betting? How much? 😂🤷🏽‍♀️

This thread is becoming hilarious now.

Abraid2 · 02/11/2019 14:45

Anyone who thinks that it’s not the same high as placing bets is naive. In fact I’d say it’s even more likely to be addictive because the person placing the bets knows that they are going to make money.

As addicitive as people turning up to work each day because they know they're going to make money?

woodchuck99 · 02/11/2019 14:45

Other people are reading the thread apart from the OP. It’s possible some of them haven’t thought through where the profits ultimately come from - I’ve seen plenty of posts describing matched betting as either free money or beating the bookies (as though it was the bookies’ own money they were taking.). It is neither.

It is the bookies money that they are taking as the bookies are the ones making less as a result of it. The gamblers aren't effected- the bookies aim to make as much as possible out of them whether or not they are losing money to match betting.

Hohumhum · 02/11/2019 14:52

It isn’t gambling.... unless you make a mistake.

Your DH sounds like a twat though

MacabreMannequinFun · 02/11/2019 14:55

The only people who say it is gambling are the people who don't know. For example my mum, did a 5 minute Google and read some threads online and has decided its gambling.
Meanwhile I've been doing it over 3 years and make 500 a month and have never lost a penny. But I am a HCP and good at maths, my mum doesn't really understand and can't understand, and I imagine that's what goes on a lot when people decide it's gambling.

GunpowderGelatine · 02/11/2019 14:58

YABU and need to understand matched betting and how yes, not putting a bet on at a certain time means that you'll lose money.

It's not gambling. How about asking him to take you through it?

I can't say I'd be impressed at being told off like a child for using my phone

chomalungma · 02/11/2019 15:15

Matched Betting is not gambling - BUT

It is part of the gambling industry - when you win, you are making money from someone and someone has lost the money. When someone matches your bet at Betfair, they are losing money if their bet fails.

I did it - and was surprised at all the other offers that came in. Just put some money on the online casino, a bet here, try this...loads of texts and other ways to persuade you to bet.

I can see how some people could get sucked in to it and gamble if they didn't have self discipline.

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