To pretend to be pregnant?

[Fuckenstein]

I have a dress that I haven't worn in ages, I just tried it on and it's less than flattering 🙈.

Would I be Unreasonable to wear it anyway and just occasionally rub my tummy so that people think I am pregnant and not just fat?

Regarding low fodmap you can substitute garlic for garlic infused oil. Onion can be replaced with asafoetida.

My husband has IBS and low fodmap has been a lifesaver. He also used to look pregnant when bloated (he usually has a six pack!).

I think you might be suffering from a food intolerance of some kind op

I do appreciate the people that have mentioned health issues, I saw a thread once where the poster ended up being diagnosed with ovarian cancer so it does help sometimes.

I probably have got some kind of food intolerance, It doesn't generally bother me though, unless I want to wear a clingy dress

Just put on some tight granny knickers or a pair of spanx if you can cope with them

Sloggi knickers the original style are your freinds!

@NoSauce my contribution is to not be a bitch and insult the OP. You hardly added a stunning contribution to the thread yourself.

Can you get some 'tummy holding in pants' maybe?

I get you. I get very bloated and look pregnant too sometimes. It's usually when I've eaten too much salt my tummy just swells up.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat yeah but I’m not having a dig at anyone else am I?

If lactose is your issue, you can keep eating dairy products, but take some lactase tablets beforehand (available in health food stores or amazon). This enzyme breaks down the lactose sugar for you if your gut is lacking it. When the sugar is not broken down properly, it goes through your lower intestine too long, and drags a load of water with it, plus produces gas (same issue with onion and garlic sugars, but there is no OTC enzyme to help that). FODMAP diet is hard and not always successful.

I look like this permanently I have pcos and endometriosis amongst other issues that give me bloat, but I know plenty of people who have it through food bloat leave her alone no one would make these comments if she were overweight

YWBU to wear that.

It's really unflattering and I'm sure you have better stuff to wear.

That happened to me ..one time I rub my belly at work ad this lady gave me a really nice smile...like good luck with your pregnancy..but I just eat white bread that would make my tummy round ad hard looking

Go to the doctor - what a joke. I have a similar tummy which developed over about 6 months. Apparently I am anxious which causes weight gain around the middle because of over-eating and stress hormones. (Despite the fact I told her I had been sticking to a 1000 cal diet and gym daily). Sorry, just find doctors worse than useless, from years of crap like this, for me and my son, not sure what they actually do anymore.

That is wearing the spanxs type knickers.

I like the sound of the lactalase and will give that a try, sounds easier than the fodmap diet. I'm would have to have a deep breath and some fresh air for lunch if I was doloiwing that .

I am not insulted by any of the replies, I realised the dress is unwearable and posted it for a bit of a laugh and to float my ridiculous idea. I solemnly swear to dress in a much more flattering outfit.

I'm not even looking at you - I LOVE your headboard!!!

I get this too! Loads of tests and scans, no apparent reason for it.

I got in a black cab & the driver asked when I was due. I was too mortified to correct him, so I just gave my son's DOB (I couldn't think fast enough, so no idea if that was even viable!!). We had a whole journey talking about my baby.

I am just fat!!!!!!!

So how come you aren’t having a go at those having a dig at the OP? Surely you should be jumping to her defence if your moral compass sees my comments as unfair?

Haha brilliant! I have exactly the same figure as you and look pregnant at the end of every day 😂 wear it and rub your belly lolol

I bloat in the exact same way op, suspect intolerance to chocolate certain foods, but not bothered by it enough to actually do anything about it. Had various tests done about 20 years ago and nothing awful showed up thankfully. I loved being pregnant when I had a genuine excuse, but still remember being asked when I was due whilst holding 3 month old Dd1

Check your salt intake if you haven't already. That can contribute to bloat.

Yes, and smile mysteriously. My stomach does this also, I've given up pandering to it!

Do it! It’d be hilarious

Oh I thought this was going to be about getting a seat on the tube :D

I posted the thread because I am bored and thought it was an amusing plan

Ah I see, I missed the humour, my bad. Although the fact that you're laughing and joking about this is concerning to be honest, that's not normal bloating and you need to get to the bottom of it.

I am glad I am not alone, it probably is an intolerance but its not uncomfortable or anything so I just live with it.

If I am going out of an evening I tend to avoid food bread, pasta and dairy so I suspect the fodmap diet would help. I might give it some research.