To pretend to be pregnant?

[Fuckenstein]

I have a dress that I haven't worn in ages, I just tried it on and it's less than flattering 🙈.

Would I be Unreasonable to wear it anyway and just occasionally rub my tummy so that people think I am pregnant and not just fat?

lmgtfy.com/?q=fodmap+diet&s=g

Erm no that would be weird.

That’s a very unflattering outfit. Surely you have something better?

Try cutting out wheat. That’s a big bloat!

Low Fodmap is a diet that aims to reduce the release of certain gases that cause bloating by cutting out foods which commonly cause these symptoms.

Have a Google.

I highly recommend it. I went from looking pregnant as the day went on to having a lovely fat belly and no discomfort.

Gluten intolerance?

I thought fodmap was pretty hard to do without a trained nutritionist?

Op Have you had a baby? Could it be separation of the tummy muscles? I have this at the end of the day but it’s your stomach and bladder etc popping out because they’re are no muscles to hold it back x

Oh op I love you but no, not if you're likely to bump into people you know anyway. The bikini thing on holidays ok, while you neck margharitas though.

I'd be really worried bout that bump tbh, look how skinny your arms legs and ribs are and how big and low that bump is. Thats not normal bloating.

I'm like you - not too bad in morning but pregnant looking in evening. I would get away with pretending I was about 4-5 months pregnant at times.

Personally, I wouldn't wear that outfit.

Have you a bowel condition? .
The dress is pretty

@Passthecherrycoke

Well, seeing as the OP is already having investigations perhaps the GP will refer her to an NHS dietician.

Unfortunately, my specialist just told me to try it and that I could find all the info online. I also had no help from a nutritionist or dietician when I was diagnosed with Coeliac disease despite having many deficiencies at the time. Maybe your NHS Trust is better than mine but its not standard protocol here to refer to a nutritionist. Most people I know who have done FODMAP had to do it alone. The Monash app and IBS society help was invaluable for me.

Am loving your bed OP completely misses the point

Just googled the fodmap thing, I think I will stick to the original belly rub and waddle walk. Literally everything I eat is on the list! No wonder I look like I have a basket ball up my top.

I had yogurt and berries for breakfast, low fat yogurt with sweetener in no doubt.

Melon for a snack

Creamy veg soup and a bread roll for dinner. All of that is ontc the bad list.

I can't give up garlic and onions.

OP I'm with the other posters. You don't look fat. You are slim - but you do look pregnant, and I'd really make a huge effort to figure it out.

You've been checked for anything untoward so that's good. I too feel it might be a dietary issue.

I’d just wear something else. I have done this though when I’ve wore an outfit for a full day, stomach starts off flat and I look pregnant by the end of the day. Only to randoms who congratulate me and ask what gender I’m having. I had the bloat today and my god it’s painful

This is exactly what my coeliac family members look like if they eat gluten.

Out of 4 family members only 2 were diagnosed by blood test. The other two had negative blood tests for coeliac but were diagnosed by colonoscopy which was only offered because there was a family history.

I think I will go with jeans and a slouchy jumper.

No git issues as far as I know, I suspected lactose intolerance at the beginning of the year but after cutting out lactose for awhile the pain and wind went away.

I had yogurt and berries for breakfast, low fat yogurt with sweetener in no doubt

Melon for a snack

Creamy veg soup and a bread roll for dinner

If this ^^ is all you are eating, there's no way it's a weight issue. I'd honestly suggest you are being a bit too light-hearted about this, there's something (potentially serious) going on & needs more investigating.

How bizzare, I've never heard of what you've got OP but I'd have bet my life you were pregnant. Definitely not the dress for you.

Although to be quite honest I think you already know that and I really don't know why you've posted this.

Wow some of you are so rude! You know when you read a post and you think it’s a troll because no one could possible have been subjected to such rudeness from a stranger.... now I know it’s probably you lot going around insulting people.

Blimey.

Do it, make sure you back into seats and go ‘oof’ When you sit down.
Is there a diet you can go on that helps you get fucking jokes and stop diagnosing strangers?

Poster asks something lighthearted. A million people try to scare her and diagnose something chronic

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat what’s your contribution then?

I once did that to get moved into first class on a ridiculously packed train........if you've got it, flaunt it and all that.

I had tuna salad for lunch too but that wasn't on the fodmap list. I am trying to lose some weight.

@Pinkyyy I posted the thread because I am bored and thought it was an amusing plan. Not because I genuinely planned to pretend to be pregnant. I always wondered why people put lighthearted on their threads.