In being at the end of my tether with ds? (Toilet issues.)

[bigflowerdog]

Name changed for this as people on here know me irl but I've been around for ages and promise I'm not a weird poo perve.

DS is nearly 6 and just started school this September. He's been fully potty trained since he was about 2.5 (I think, around then anyway) with no issues.

He's just started pooing himself everyday! Sometimes twice a day. It's been about 2 weeks now. We've been very gentle and understanding but yesterday it ashamed to say I got pretty angry with him. I realised he had poo all over his hands and clothes and was just carrying on as normal! He got really upset and obviously I felt like a very shitty parent.

He's also been hiding his pooey pants in places.

Today I got a call from his teacher, he's done it at school. Is this something I should take him to a doctor about? Could it be a physical thing? I yet can't see how or why it would be psychological.

The other kids are going to start to notice, it's a small community, people remember things kids did 30 years ago. He'll forever be the kid that used to shit himself.

Anyone ever experienced this? Ugh. My patience is wearing really thin with it but I want to be as gentle as possible, going in full steam clearly won't help, especially if it isn't a medical thing.

She felt his tummy yesterday but it seemed fine.

He's been on a probiotic tablet for years due to his cyclical vomiting syndrome.

We've also agreed with the school that it's ok for him to come in late too. He mostly poos fairly early on in the morning so the nurse suggested that if he were more likely to at home then to try early and bring him in after. They're also happy for me to go in whenever I like and make him sit on the loo/drink water.

I can't get over how helpful the school are being. May help that a bunch of their contracts are up for review this evening and dh is one of the five doing that.

He had blood tests today (awful awful awful) and lots of poo samples taken.

Lots of accidents this afternoon so I'll be keeping him home tomorrow as I have to travel all day to drop the poo sample off at the hospital for testing. Can't risk being hours away from the school and him having a major accident.

Not feeling so positive today. He was pretty upset about it this time.

Hopefully these tests will bring you closer to a solution. Hang in there!

So we've been referred to the child gastro. The receptionist was unbelievably rude to me. I actually burst in to tears on the phone. She said they might not be able to see him until January and she didn't consider it an emergency. I told her I considered a 6 year old in nappies that's unable to go to school is more urgent than January and she got very stroppy.

We've also been referred to a new paediatrician. Hopefully we can see her before the weekend.

I've been in tears all day. Now our septic tank is failing partially due to the excessive amounts of laundry and showering we're doing so that's a fucking disaster. A new one is $20,000. And outside smells of shit the same as inside. I'd generally see the funny side but my sense of humour has buggered off.

It's also all the most awful timing, I'd just got a new job which was set to turn in to something extremely big and positive and I'm now being unreliable and may lose it.

I think you said you are in the USA. What type of insurance do you have? You shouldn't need a referral to see a pediatrician. Also Google the Affordable Care Act Network Adequacy rules for your State. It's not legal to have a referral to a specialist take that long. Feel free to PM me if you need more advice along these lines.
I think you should take your ds to a neurologist or geneticist in addition to a gastroenterologist.

Our DS13 had awful problems for a year and turns out he was constipated though like previous posters the wet stuff was getting past the blockage

Movicol for a few weeks. Took a while but finally things returned to normal

I believe it was caused by the sweeteners in the vending machine flavored water drinks he was getting at school that triggered something

We've banned artificial sweeteners in this house and I can tell when he's had them because he gets awful stomach ache and can't 'go'.

Hope it gets sorted but reckon a dose or ten of Movicol would help. Ask doctor for a prescription

From everything you have written it sounds like classic impaction with overflow. When you said he had started passing hard faeces that was absolutely typical.
Ate you doing a disimpaction regimen?
I am sorry it is all so stressful.
What were the blood tests?

We went to the hospital yesterday and saw a paediatric. She said it was absolutely classic constipation. She said if I wanted to they'd send him for an X-ray to check but she thought it that was unnecessary.

We were already doing a lot of the things she told us to do, raised knees when on the toilet, frequent toilet sittings, rewards for trying, diet etc.

She gave us a strong laxative to take for a couple of days and told us to stay at home. She's also given him a less strong laxative (miralax I think is the same as movacol) to take for 6 months.

We're not ruling out food allergies or other issues but given his poor diet it looks like it's that. Fingers crossed!

They were all so lovely. They could see how frantic and worried I was (well I burst in to tears when I spoke to them on the phone.) We'll definitely be using her as DS's paediatric from now on.

Both the doctors that saw him locally and her commented on how unpleasant the gastro people had been. They finally got back in touch with my doctor last night to say they'd look at his case sometime next week. If we ever have issues again I'll ask to be referred straight to Boston.

Thank you to everyone that posted. 90% of me agreed it was likely constipation and impaction but it was so bad and violent I couldn't get the thought of something serious out of my head. As soon as the hospital rang and said they wanted to see him immediately it was like a weight lifted off my mind. It's really scary to have to be the main advocate for your child's health. My hat is off to those who have to do this for more serious issues.

@endofthelinefinally the tests were for celiacs and various illnesses. The stools were for parasites. I'm DREADING getting that bill back. Last time I had bloods done they were about £650.

He's now only allowed very small amounts of dairy and bread/pasta/rice.

That's the only things he will eat so this morning is not much fun in our house.

We're going to have a follow up appointment with one of the therapists to discuss his sensory issues and how to help him to eat new foods. Bless him, he tried avocado again this morning and was retching and crying. It's not by his or our choice that his diet is so piss poor, I feel like a bloody failure though.

The doctor did say to give him those toddler pouches. Not sure if you have the same in the UK as I always used to bring ours with us but there are ones with a whole grain (millet, quinoa, spelt, barley etc), two fruits, and two veg (one coloured one green) and a little yogurt. We'd stopped giving them to him because I hated the plastic waste and obviously thought being nearly 6 was far too old but she said it's common advice for kids with diet and sensory issues.

I've tried many times to recreate them myself but we're at the end of the line for fruit and veg and the choice and quality (if it's not summer and local) is appealing. When we go back to the UK we just walk around Waitrose with our jaws dropping at the huge variety of produce and the high quality.

When my daughter had severe constipation we tried everything to get her to poo in the toilet or potty instead of her pants. The doctor suggested putting her on a potty in front of the tv after each meal. I remember her sitting there with a poo half in and half out - literally laughing her head off at a TV show seemingly without any awareness she had a stuck poo! She could not feel it and did not have the urge to push!! She got sorted by 7 with regular movicol - she would have poo accidents too - the hard poo blocks the exit and soft poo slips around the sides. Their nerves get stretched so they lose feeling but her’s has come back now.

Is there some reason you don't have health insurance? There are plenty of affordable options, especially in Massachusetts.

Also, if there is suspected celiac, I am surprised that they told you to feed him a diet of bread and pasta and I thought that avocados were also problematic for celiacs. In the spirit of having to be the main advocate for your child's health (I unfortunately am all too familiar with this), I would double research all advice given.

By the way, my daughters constipation was because she was Hypermobile ーher bowel muscles were weaker hence the constipation.

Is frozen veg an option?
Smoothies?

So glad you finally got some good advice and hope it’s as simple as constipation as they seem to think. So grateful for the NHS and UK supermarkets from the sound of US ones.

You haven't said whether you have watched the poo nurse video, but it is so simple and well explained, you could sort this out yourself without incurring huge medical bills.

No no I mean he's not really allowed dairy/pasta/bread/rice not that is his new diet.

We're in Maine and we're arguably the worst state for affordable healthcare. For self employed people the options are limited and not great.

He's really taken the new diet on board and today has eaten lentil pasta, tuna () a ton of peas, spinach and a few squares of special chocolate (ex lax). All things he wouldn't eat before. The doctor talk really seemed to hit home.

I didn't mind paying for the diagnosis. Although I was pretty sure what it was I'm not a doctor and combined with his CVS I felt I should get it verified by a professional. And rule out certain things that the blood and stool tests have. Living on a remote island I'm all for self care and have learned how to administer minor first aid etc but this his stomach problems have been ongoing and sometimes you've got to make the choice to suck up the bills and ask a professional.

Ugh. I thought you mentioned Boston so assumed you were in Massachusetts. Maine is a different story. Though it sounds like it might be getting better for next year.

I just visited a friend whose boyfriend has a house on a remote Maine island and he was describing that the house had neither running water, nor electricity (much less internet or anything else!).

I assume that you have a really compelling reason for living there!!!

We have water and electric but dh didn't growing up!

A class size of 6 with a budget of $24,000 a year per kid is pretty much why I'm here.

Is it beyond the realms of possibility that ds has been such a bad eater for ages because he's been so plugged up?! He's like a different kid, eating a ton and so happy!

Yes, it's completely possible. If the rubbish can't get out, everything starts backing up and that can leave you feeling pretty off and full.

So has he passed the impaction op? So glad he’s feeling so well.

He was shitting black sludge yesterday so I'm guessing so!

Well, better out than in You must be so relieved.