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AIBU?

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Original poster

In being at the end of my tether with ds? (Toilet issues.)

186 replies

bigflowerdog · 01/11/2019 18:32

Name changed for this as people on here know me irl but I've been around for ages and promise I'm not a weird poo perve.

DS is nearly 6 and just started school this September. He's been fully potty trained since he was about 2.5 (I think, around then anyway) with no issues.

He's just started pooing himself everyday! Sometimes twice a day. It's been about 2 weeks now. We've been very gentle and understanding but yesterday it ashamed to say I got pretty angry with him. I realised he had poo all over his hands and clothes and was just carrying on as normal! He got really upset and obviously I felt like a very shitty parent. Sad

He's also been hiding his pooey pants in places.

Today I got a call from his teacher, he's done it at school. Is this something I should take him to a doctor about? Could it be a physical thing? I yet can't see how or why it would be psychological.

The other kids are going to start to notice, it's a small community, people remember things kids did 30 years ago. He'll forever be the kid that used to shit himself. Sad

Anyone ever experienced this? Ugh. My patience is wearing really thin with it but I want to be as gentle as possible, going in full steam clearly won't help, especially if it isn't a medical thing.

OP posts:
endofthelinefinally · 02/11/2019 19:38

A plain abdominal Xray would be a fantastic idea. It is the only way to see if the problem is impaction.
Google images of faecal / fecal impaction OP. Not usually possible to diagnose by just feeling the child's abdomen.
Then you would know what you are dealing with. As others have said, it might not be that, it could be a food intolerance.
Bouts of vomiting could be due to either condition too.

Original poster
bigflowerdog · 02/11/2019 20:04

It's just a general ER. And I'm really loathe to take him on a Saturday night. (It'll take me a few hours to get there.) Then we'll be unable to return home and the thought of staying in a hotel with this going on is not appealing.

If it's still going on by morning time I'll absolutely take him.

He's very chirpy, tummy doesn't seem distended and I'm making him drink a lot.

DH's uncle has just passed away this afternoon so that's thrown it all for a bit of a loop.

OP posts:
AlunWynsKnee · 02/11/2019 20:36

If it helps for perspective, I have Ulcerative Colitis and the NHS appears to be interested if you have more than six bowel movements a day. Given he is well past that and still going, it may not be an overreaction to take him to be checked at A&E.

iMatter · 02/11/2019 20:36

It's a few hours away? I would say that changes things.

Presumably he'd have to sit in the car in a nappy and you'd have to stop regularly to change him?

youngscrappyandhungry · 02/11/2019 20:46

With it being so far away, I get why you don't want to go tonight. I'm glad to hear that your son is tolerating the constant poo well, at least. Do you have an urgent care center that might be closer to you? They typically have x-ray facilities on site so they would be able to do an abdominal x-ray and give an enema for fecal impaction if necessary. If you show up a few minutes before they open in the morning, it's unlikely that you'd have to wait at all there either.

Original poster
bigflowerdog · 02/11/2019 21:06

No there's nowhere closer. We have a health centre that's staffed by physicians assistants (so not quite a doctor). We would have to stop and clean him off, I feel like that would be really stressful for him, so far we've managed to avoid upsetting him (apart from when I lost it and yelled at him like a total asshole Sad.)

The last time I went to the ER on a Saturday night it was carnage, I'd not put ds through that unless it was pretty serious. He hasn't pooped in a while now but one accidental one tomorrow and we're going straight in.

I need to stop googling for the minute, I'm becoming a little upset by it all.

OP posts:
Original poster
bigflowerdog · 02/11/2019 21:08

The health centre has no facilities at all. It's more of a stop gap/triage type place. In cases of emergency after hours we would have to get a helicopter.

OP posts:
AloneLonelyLoner · 02/11/2019 21:29

I'm sending you strength and hugs @bigflowerdog .

Our daughter has ASD and sensory issues and still has problems, the main being that she doesn't recognise when it happens.
It's soul-destroying.
Please do just go into A&E and get seen, at least you'll feel like you're doing something. I'm so sorry you're all going through this. Don't beat yourself up. You're human and exhausted.

youngscrappyandhungry · 03/11/2019 03:23

Sorry you don't have access to a more convenient facility, OP, but I'm glad to hear your son has stopped having accidents for the time being. Fingers crossed that he holds on until Monday and you can get an emergency appointment with the specialist. I know you feel out of your depth, but you are handling it all really well. Just keep doing what you are doing. Hopefully you'll get the answers you need soon.

SofiaAmes · 03/11/2019 05:17

OP, you must mention the CVS to any and every medical professional you see until you speak to one who understands what it is. CVS doesn't go away and is linked to a variety of other diseases. My ds has Mitochondrial Disease and CVS was his first main recognizable (but ignored for years) symptom, until he started getting migraines (around age 7). It was then another 4 years before he was actually diagnosed with Mitochondrial disease and started receiving treatment for the disease instead of just for each separate symptom. And the diagnosis only came because I kept pushing and pushing for a medical explanation for ds' symptoms that didn't involve just blaming me. The diagnosis generally involves just a dna spit test. Your ds may have some sort of mitochondrial dysfunction or a related disease like IBS.

Take a look at this website under the Possible Symptoms tab. This website also has lots of information and this is his geneticist's website.

If you have the opportunity for your ds to be seen by a pediatrician, I would definitely go for that. And make sure to ask about mitochondrial dysfunction diseases. A good doctor will at least get informed if they don't know much about it (understanding of the disease is a pretty new thing and if they are older than 40, they might not have even learned about it in medical school).
I hope that you get some answers soon.

Bluemascara4 · 03/11/2019 20:43

How is he today OP?

Original poster
bigflowerdog · 03/11/2019 22:41

He's not had an accident but we've been making him sit on the toilet every hour for 5 minutes.

We've got a meeting tomorrow at school with the headmaster, school nurse, special ed teacher, dean of students and guidance councillor to discuss how we can all support him and enable him to be able to stay in school until this is (hopefully) resolved. He's missed quite a bit of school at this point and they all agree that shouldn't be the case. So as far as school goes I'm feeling really positive.

Hopefully we'll get a gastro appointment in the next few days, thank you to everyone that replied, I was in quite a state yesterday and you all helped me SO much.

OP posts:
Redspider1 · 04/11/2019 08:40

Good luck Flowers

Original poster
bigflowerdog · 04/11/2019 13:27

They're taking about doctors a long way away now. They're taking about colonoscopies which is very upsetting but if that's what it takes then so be it.

I've lost my rag with dh and told him we are getting health insurance TODAY. Well probably have a deductible (excess) of around $10,000 but we'll probably hit that quote quickly.

OP posts:
Redspider1 · 04/11/2019 17:26

Who are they? Did you get your appointment through already?

BlueLadybird · 04/11/2019 19:53

I've lost my rag with dh and told him we are getting health insurance TODAY. Well probably have a deductible (excess) of around $10,000 but we'll probably hit that quote quickly.

And this is why the NHS is worth saving.

Hope you find out what’s causing the issue soon, @bigflowerdog and that your DS recovers quickly.

Original poster
bigflowerdog · 04/11/2019 20:06

@Redspider1 the initial doctor we saw and gastro we were referred to. They want him to see a specific children's one which makes sense. Hopefully we can see one a few hours away rather than a day away!

We just had the meeting at the school. I feel really positive about that part at least. They took it very seriously and came up with some good ideas. They're going to encourage him to sit on the toilet three times a day and also make sure he's drinking enough. They've also come up with some emergency plans to get the kids out of the class quickly if it does happen again.

OP posts:
Redspider1 · 04/11/2019 20:16

Well that’s great you got to see someone so quickly(be weeks on NHS) so is he still going several times a day?

feistymumma · 04/11/2019 21:05

Re the stomach bugs and vomiting can you ask if he can be tested for h.pylori? My son had the same symptoms for years and missed so much school. We were literally at the end of our tether when we mentioned this to a practice nurse. She arranged for a stool sample and look and behold. Her had to have the lots of antibiotics for a week and that was the end of it. Good luck OP

lavalampy · 04/11/2019 21:31

Nothing practical to add I'm afraid but I wanted to wish you well. You sound like a great mum. I'm glad the school are being supportive and have come up with an action plan until it's resolved.

Original poster
bigflowerdog · 05/11/2019 00:07

He seems to be constipated now. Lots of siting on the toilet and saying it hurt only for a tiny hard bit to come out. So it really does look like the other day he was impacted.

OP posts:
Original poster
bigflowerdog · 05/11/2019 00:11

I'll ask for him to be tested for that thanks. I'm going to make a list of what everyone on this thread has said. It could easily be a bug/bacteria thing, especially with the cycles.

OP posts:
AwkwardFucker · 05/11/2019 04:55

I would bet good money he is constipated. Especially with your update about his diet.

This was exactly my DS until about 7, we tried all the laxatives, and I believe the one that finally did the trick was Parachoc. You have to keep giving it for awhile though, it’s not a once off thing.

Google encopresis.

drspouse · 05/11/2019 05:09

My DD who is 5 has had a blockage that took about a year to go away. She is doing a lot better now.
In the UK you can only get adult Movicol over the counter but maybe you can get it where you are? The protocol is pretty easy to follow.

I'm shocked they didn't feel his tummy but I've had suggestions from US parents that my DD needs an x-ray for her bowel which is completely OTT. I know they are very "expensive procedures first" over there.

Bloomburger · 05/11/2019 06:25

Have you thought of giving your son prebiotic? It's food for the bacteria you have in your tummy. Keeping on giving him probiotics just repopulated the bacteria rather than feeding it and keeping it healthy and doing its,job.

I e taken it for years due to constipation issues and blockages and recently before an operation I had a consultant feel my tummy and he was most impressed with how empty my colon was.

I hope you get some answers and a resolution quickly. X

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