To ask what things that pre children you would have seen as essential have now become a luxury?

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Last night on my way home from work i popped into next and treated myself to £88 worth of pyjamas / slippers / dressing gown. I am sick of being freezing and looking like a bag lady when at home. Pre children i would not have thought twice about this but for some reason now it feels like a luxury.

Non stained, matching pjs without holes have become a luxury.

AIBU to a) treat myself and b) ask what things pre children you wouldn't bat an eye about getting / doing have now become a luxury?

is it lack of money? If yes then fair enough that’s admiral that you are going without for your children
There is always something the DC need before the parent's.
Your kids surely aren't at your side 24/7, they must at least sleep
Yes mine don't sleep well, when they do the house needs sorting, make packed lunch, school uniform, prepare some dinner, clean house, have a shower, in my case fill out another form for DS.
3 of the night's I leave for work by 9pm back at 7.30am school rush starts.
Trying to squeeze in romantic time is the hardest.

Beauty treatments. I used to feel so well-groomed ... had regular (1+ a month) manicures, pedicures, bikini waxes, eyebrow threading, highlights every three months, occasional massages and acupuncture.

Since I had DD I have done literally nothing apart from one eyebrow wax. That's it! I look and feel like a withered old crone.

Peeing in private.

Despite all the sacrifices, I would do it all over again if given the choice in the morning. Most of these things are temporarily on hold until my DC are older. I don't really miss them as much as I would have expected to.

Sleep!

@MyGoodTimes Me too.
I was 28 when I had my first so I had a good run to myself.
I look forward to my 60's now.

@EmeraldShamrock
I had a good run too! I crammed a lot into my 30's. I hope I won't have to wait until my 60's to get back to pre DC stuff. Thinking about it, it's a possibility here too. Then the DGC will probably be arriving. 🙈

Peace and quiet
Using the toilet alone
Being alone
Lie ins
Not having to cook if I'm not hungry
'Popping' out anywhere
'Spare' money
Being able to be spontaneous
Foreign holidays
Pleasure shopping
Being hungover in peace

I've never been an 'adult' without a child, however, when I just had the one and worked 4 jobs I'd regularly buy and dress him and me in Hugo boss, prada, Gucci, at one point my handbags were worth more than my car, now although I like nice handbags and shoes, I'm more coach and Micheal Kors than Louis Vuitton. I recently sold a ltd edition lulu Guinness bag that I bought in 2002 for a small fortune, and used it for all new winter clothes, boots, wellies, waterproof trousers etc for 3 out of the 4 kids, and a new tool bag and some winter tires for the eldest. I suppose its less about what you deem luxuries and more about what you deem your priorities, I no longer prioritise Hugo boss jeans at £180 a pop for a 6 year old, which I then wince and worry about them having fun in, I prioritise them ALL being nicely, not expensively, dressed, and generally having fun together. So I'd rather drop the £180 on a day out not jeans.
(Should have used the bag money for a spa weekend, two youngest have just told me the wellies are the wrong colour and the coats are too warm!!)

Washing my hair more than once a week

Being able to chill out and binge watch a box set

Plucking my eyebrows

Working out without any interruption

Buying clothes just for me when I wanted - not when I have no choice because the items i have look like swiss cheese

Sex whenever we wanted

Beach days - few drinks and lying in the sun for hours

Going abroad

Being able to have a nap whenever

Being able to put my feet when I feel like shit - like now

Cinema - cant do it even now with DS aged 2. MIL phoned us near the end of the film last time with DS screaming down the phone.

Thing is though, I miss those things. But I would miss DS one hell of a lot more if I didnt have him.

that friday after work, drink which becomes a massive night out despite best intentions

Added to that being able to nurse a hangover in PEACE

Hiking in the countryside/hill walking, we went out all weekend pre kids. It was so good for my mental health and kept me fit. I imagined we'd continue with our babies in sling/all terrain buggy etc but they hated being in either and changing nappies etc, having to stop for feed/leg stretch, too cold etc suck all the joy out of it. Our two are 5 and 2 now so out of the carrier and buggy, but too small to walk further than a mile or two.

Leisure time. Although that has alot to do with - - d--h sense of entitlement to our spare time rather than how time consuming dc are.

Bras. I've always been 'blessed' in that region and always bought expensive and lovely bras - even had some bravissimo beauties back in the day.

After having DD my breasts became comedy size and my wage reduced. Now I'm buying Tesco £6 deals, suffering with back pain and underwire stabbing because the thought of spending £60 on one item of underwear makes me shudder.

Dammit. I miss good bras.

Anything new for the house. We need new curtains and a lamp for the living room. And storage for the spare room but it just seems unnecessary compared to DCs needs.

But yes OP new pjs would be great. Still wearing maternity ones from 5 years ago.....

Nice make up and skincare

Nights out.
Day time sex whenever and wherever in the flat.
Pooing without an audience, my son seems to have trained the cat to watch as well.
The gym, I used to go everyday, now it’s once a week and daily sessions at home.
Rugby, I played for Steelers but I don’t have time, I’m hoping to change this after xmas.

Sitting on the sofa for 2 hours on a winter Sunday afternoon, watching a film and eating biscuits. Haven’t done that in 2.5 years!

I think freedom over when you go to bed and when you wake up, although realistically most of the week at work I guess I am up early anyway! I do feel guilty spending money on myself, which is silly really as we are fortunate to not have to worry too much (and I'm not a big spending anyway), and DP buys stuff for himself and encourages me to if I want it- so missplaced mum guilt I guess.

Oh yes and of course walking. Like PP said, our weekends (and after work with the dog) were spent walking (usually followed by a nice pub lunch!) - managed to continue this when DD was newborn, but as soon as she could crawl she hated any sort of restraint (buggy / sling / carrier) and can’t walk far. I’ve put on nearly 4 stone as have continued eating the same, but without walking around 20 + miles a week.

The ability to work late. Then come home and just chill out.

Now most nights I’m rushing home at 5pm, tea, baths, beds, getting clothes organised for the morning then logging back into work until the small hours just to keep afloat.

Not feeling guilty. Whatever I'm doing now - working/looking after child/having a rare catch up with my friends, even having a relaxing bath! I can and do switch off but the guilt afterwards is horrible!

Going out with friends to the pub/gigs/parties. I'm aspie so the downtime to recover from the social hangover is absolutely essential, and I just don't get that as a parent. I spent a long time feeling sorry for myself about that, but I actually don't mind too much now. Having the energy to be a good mum is much more important than having a buzzing social life.

Sick days, definitely.

DS has had so many bugs since he started nursery and I’ve had to take so much time off work. I’m dreading when flu season hits and I actually get ill myself, as I’ll have to stagger in.

We have always been really frugal so what we have paid for hasn't changed much - I never used to get manicures anyway, never had gym membership or bought expensive clothes/make up so I dont miss what I didnt have!

The main thing I miss is lazy sunday mornings when we would sleep in until 10 and go out for brunch.

We dont go out for dinner as much as we used to but we are lucky to have s lot of family locally so if we do want to go out, we can.