To feel poor compared to when I was a child growing up

[Keepgoing88]

I'm curious to know if there are many people out there who as a family are less well off than when growing up? We are not poor but I do feel a lot less well off than my parents were. We haven't been on a foreign holiday for few years (prob could afford a not so fancy one though). We could never afford the house I grew up in and sometimes struggle to break even on a month (large mortgage etc). It gets me down that I feel the standard of living we have is less than when I grew up. Does anyone else experience a similar situation? My DH feels fine but we are considerably better off than he was growing up.

I don't understand weathy people who don't help their adult children.

Maybe because they’ve already shelled out a fortune in school fees and want to use their money to enjoy themselves now, rather than spending more on their (adult) kids?

My parents were always of the view that they’d pay to put me through education and give me the very best start in life, but it was up to me after that. I respect that!

Nope, I’m single and child free and earn more than my parents ever did combined. I feel very proud of myself that I’ve got to this position entirely on my own merit. I work in a competitive industry and had no prior connections or help entering it, I don’t even have a degree as I dropped out of uni. I’m in the process of buying a flat in London. Like PP even if my parents had money I wouldn’t want their handouts. There’s nothing like the feeling that comes with knowing I’ve done everything myself to get my life to where it is now. Friends who had more privileged upbringings have admitted to me they often don’t feel much pride in their achievements because they’ve had so much assistance.

Our comfort has bought our DC choice. DS has decided on an academic career - PhD then probably 10 years on fixed term contracts scraping £30k. If he makes professor he might get £70k to £80k by 40 if v successful. He can do that because we put a little house in trust for him in 2012.

I'd say my parents were worse off than my grandparents, but I'm much better off now than my family was when I was growing up.
My grandparents have a beautiful, big detached house and had regular holidays abroad. They both retired early with very good pensions.
Growing up we lived in a council house, with no heating, I remember winters being bitterly cold. We didn't have a car and I remember my mum having to scrape for money to buy essentials. Both my parents worked full time, but always seemed to struggle.
This being said though, I had a very happy childhood and I have very fond memories of playing around the estate with my siblings and other local children.
Compared to my childhood, I'm much better off now. I'm definitely not rich, but I'm comfortable and can afford a lifestyle more similar to the one my grandparents enjoyed.

Both my DH and I had poor backgrounds, mine more so. We now both earn well, have a nice house, holidays abroad and our daughter can do extra curricular activities. Her life will probably be vastly different from her upbringing with the way the economy is going

I get upset sometimes when my parents voice an opinion on how people of my age live .

DH and I have worked like beasts for years, to my own massive detriment (physical and mental, but as the highest earner I simply cannot afford to take a week or two out of work to get myself together). It got to one point in a particularly toxic employer that I became suicidal, and it took me 6 months to secure another job to go to. Until then unless we had the option of not paying bills or the mortgage, I had to work. I was working 60, 70 HR weeks on the "slow" weeks with a terrible commute on top... Completely unsustainable.

We don't have holidays, we don't have an especially fancy house, we don't have coffee out (take flasks), cinema is once a year. We don't live in luxury.

Yet my mum and dad (late 50s and early 60s) think their home ownership at 25 and paying off the mortgage mid 40s is due to their hard work and budgeting skills... As if my own inability to mimic their position at that age is due to a deficiency in me somehow!

The simply refuse to acknowledge that if dad was a full-time postie and mum stayed at home these days, not only would they not be on the housing ladder, the idea of retirement at 55 and supporting a housewife + kids as an option would be a far, far distant reality. How could someone on nmw or close to it, working 37hrs a week afford that these days?

It hasn't been possible for a long time, and it is NOT their skill and hard work that means they were doing so well at that age. The economy and living costs had a much bigger impact than they want to admit.

What on earth do you do Nora if you are working 60/70 hour weeks in "slow" weeks? And what does your DH do?

I'm nearly 60 and I don't think a postman with a stay at home wife would have been able to buy a house at 25 and pay of the mortgage by mid 40's. Unless there was a combi of v cheap part of the country anx a windfall. A 55hr week is about my limit.

As a single parent I earn more on 1 income than my parents earned combined. They both worked manual jobs (factory / council worker - gardens dept) whereas I’m an office worker. They owned their own home (a relatively nice one) whereas i privately rent. That’s because even though I’m earning a decent wage I live in the South East and can’t get a mortgage for 400k plus. If I lived in the same area I’d be much more wealthier than my parents were

DH & I are both worse off than our parents, despite working more hours and having much better education and qualifications.

Parents find this mystifying 😂

We have been lucky enough though to buy a house when housing was a lot more affordable. Dd will find it a lot harder to ever afford her own house.

OhTheRoses engineering. In the job I refer to (the one that broke me to the point I was suicidal), large scale Infrastructure rollout akin to e.g. switching a critical supply of component X from site Y to Z, across national & international borders. The type of supply where if things go wrong, you stay on site no matter what. There's no it's the end of shift. My worst point was working 48 hrs straight with little nap periods, I was sleep deprived to the point of making safety mistakes and I went through hell for handing over and walking off the job as the final straw. Instead of (like some suppliers) planning a 3x 24hr 8hr shift rotation, my employer just had... Me. It wasn't sustainable.

I grew up in a desperately poor household. Single parent, many siblings, damp, council house, mould, no heating, ice on the insides of the windows, ice from the taps. No enamel on the inside of the bath so it just looked grim, worn out carpets, springs poking out of the mattress, rare treats and no holidays. I have worked so hard to ensure I went to uni, and to achieve what I wanted/needed. I remember being scoffed at by a family member that I would never achieve anything - she was wrong. Maybe I wanted to prove her wrong I'm not sure. Now I have a nice clean, warm house. I don't care what its worth. I have enough food. I can buy wine. I have choices. My child is lucky and he knows it!

Oh come on. In the 60's I lived in a huge house, had everything including a pony. There was still ice inside the windows when it was chuffing cold overnight.

I am a teacher and my partner is in the armed forces. Both sets of parents worked really hard and struggled, but are enjoying the fruits of their labour now.

I was lucky in that my parents could afford to pay for me to have singing and dancing lessons which I loved. It makes me sad that despite us both having good jobs, we struggle to be able to pay for our own children to do clubs, activities and school trips that I was able to go on back in the 90s.

Nora did you not tell them to fuck off, or else? Why did it take 6 months to get another job? Could your dp not have stepped up?

My parents were and are middle class. I think they had leaner periods when they first married and my dad was still at uni, but after that they did quite well. My dad worked in the public sector, worked his way up, and retired before 60 with an excellent pension. My mum was a secretary until I was born, but only worked very part time after that. I was also an only child, and wasn’t born until they were early 30’s.
My life has been totally different. I had three children young (two while I was still in my teens) and am a single parent. I’ve been unlucky with my health, and am now classed as disabled and unable to work. I live in a council house (which I’m very lucky to have and thankful for every day, but it’s very different to my parents’ home).
Obviously a lot of the difference is down to my own choices. But I just don’t think that my generation can achieve what my parents did, even with the same amount of hard work. But then maybe the support I’ve had wouldn’t have been available to that generation. There was certainly more of a stigma to being a single parent back then.

I come from a very poor background. Hardly any money but loads of love. Materially I am much better off, I worked hard and have a good career. I‘m happy, but I doubt I’m much happier than I was then.

I'm better off than I was growing up.

As a kid 80s/90s: state school, some foreign holidays but mostly UK, some local clubs, nothing fancy, a normal happy childhood

As an adult: expensive house that I would never have imagined owning, previous high earning career, high earning DH, kids in private school, beautiful furnishings in house but I still scrimp: own brand food, limited heating, always hunting a bargain. I can't seem to shake my upbringing 😂

As a child I was totally unaware about how poor we were. Other families did have ygeur own houses, holidays, cars, birthday parties, probably loads of stuff I just was never aware of. Compared to then I am a lot better off, not wealthy, but I am buying a house, have a car, occasional holiday abroad not every year, but can take kids out for the day, visit theme parks and give treats when out. Definitely better off now that I have been prompted to think about it.

I’m not sure. I grew up in a nicer house in the south east, but my parents stressed about money constantly (although my mum didn’t work much). I always had enough to eat and hobbies paid for, a uk self catering holiday every year. Apart from our house being much smaller, we are probably on roughly the same. My dad retired at 55 though-there is no way we will be doing that!

I spend so much time regretting the fact that I didn't give my children the security of growing up in home owned by their parents. We rent and I don't work because of chronic pain issues. I do however have a much closer relationship to my children than I ever had with my parents, so I suppose it cuts both ways. I never wanted my children to be latch key kids as I was anyway, but the price for being a full time mum was that we never could afford a mortgage or lots of holidays. I know what's more important to me and my family but I still do regret not having that security or something to leave them.

Much better off now.

Yes. Very well off growing up. Now everything feels like a struggle..

Technically we are much better off, in terms of standard of living less so, my mum worked part time, my dad had a good job. We lived in a more modest house than I do but had a stunning garden, swimming pool, lots of help around the house, not much commuting, few fancy holidays but really good holidays, really high quality food and busier social lives and time for hobbies.

Lucky you OhtheRoses. I didn't and it was shit. You obviously have no idea...

My family seemingly had more luxuries when I was young but most of it was on credit which was much more available in the 80s. My Dad had sports cars and we had some exotic holidays. I'm proud to not be in debt other then mortgage even though I don't live a very lavish lifestyle. I have no car and generally go on holiday in UK.