To feel poor compared to when I was a child growing up

[Keepgoing88]

I'm curious to know if there are many people out there who as a family are less well off than when growing up? We are not poor but I do feel a lot less well off than my parents were. We haven't been on a foreign holiday for few years (prob could afford a not so fancy one though). We could never afford the house I grew up in and sometimes struggle to break even on a month (large mortgage etc). It gets me down that I feel the standard of living we have is less than when I grew up. Does anyone else experience a similar situation? My DH feels fine but we are considerably better off than he was growing up.

I am better off than my parents, but only because I inherited quite a large sum of money from them. I don't work and don't have kids so pretty much buy what I fancy (within reason!).

I feel much better off than my parents who really struggled in the 80s. I still remember it as a pretty materialistic time whatever others may think. We couldn’t afford a telly or more than one pair of shoes. I never went on a plane or ate at a restaurant until I left home. I was always aware We were grindingly relentlessly poor. Cheap car always on the blink and constant stress about dad being able to get to work.

I now do those things frequently (although now pledged to do one long haul holiday every three years and no planes in between for environmental reasons) We have a house we can heat and everyone can have their own bedroom. We brought our car new in cash.

I’m very grateful

No, immensely more wealthy now. We were very poor growing up. I decided at about age ten, after my father died, that I didn’t want to live the same financially challenged life that my mother had.

Very poor as a child, gave me a bootstraps mentality as knew I had only myself. Found myself in top 10% of household income nationally. DH family were however very wealthy when he was young, probably top 5%.

My parents were much better off than we are at this age.

Hell no. I live in London.

No - I am much better off than I was as a child.

We have more than I had as a child but I think less than DH had. He keeps lamenting us not being able to affod holidays, whereas I have never really been on a holiday like he describes, I don't miss it and I find it an astonishing amount of money to spend for a week when we do look.

No.

I grew up in the 70s/80s in poverty - life on benefits, only hot meal was the free school meal at school etc.

DH and I are full time teachers so although not incredibly rich we are higher tax earners and are ‘comfortable’. My children’s lives will be vastly different to mine.

No. DH and I both grew up on council estates. The house we live in now I would have thought of as a mansion when growing up although it is just a four bedroom Victorian house. We have money for cinema trips, zoo trips, can buy lunch out rather than always taking sandwiches, none of which we had money for as a child. We are not well off by any stretch of the imagination, I think we earn below the national average, but I definitely feel better off than when I was little.

Much better off. My dad died when I was at primary and life was loving but tough. Grew up determined to work hard so I would never be in the same situation. Married young and we renovated four houses and went up the property ladder, Was the main breadwinner and worked long hours when they were younger. I worry that our three children have never been short of money as it does give the impetus to work extremely hard and long hours. We will be getting all of them on the property ladder (family sized house) to give them a start so they will be better off than we were in our twenties.

Slightly better off. I am in exactly the same financial situation as my mother was - single parent of one child, working in a low paid job and getting tax credits to top it up. Only reason I am a bit better off is that my son's dad pays me child maintenance and my own father didn't pay my DM a penny.

We're a bit better off than I was growing up, and a fair bit better off than DH - ironically we're in a smaller house than I grew up in, but in a more expensive area. We weren't poor when I was a child, we did activities and had days out, but always took a picnic. But now we can buy lunch at the venue - that really did make me feel that we were rich!

I used to be an avid reader as a child and I remember asking my DM one day if I could buy a new book and she had to say no as she didn't have the £5 spare. I can buy a lot more for DS than she could afford to buy for me so I guess I am better off.

My parents had 4 children on one income, a much bigger house than I do, and a car (I don't) but we had a lower standard of living in my 60s/70s childhood regarding heat, hot water, holidays, meals out, clothes etc. Now we are both retired, mum still has more house and money but a frugal lifestyle, and I have a comfortable pension because I worked all my life, paid for adult education etc. I could never have afforded 4 children, but you make your choices in life.

On the face of it, yes. Grew up in a 4 bed detached house, 2 cars, holiday abroad every year... Now live in a 2 bed terrace, 1 old car, my DC have never been abroad.

BUT my parents were always chasing their tails to service debt, and although we seemed to have a lot there would be major panic at unexpected expenses. They paid mortgages til retirement. I prefer to live more simply and avoid debt (which I realise is a privilege too).

That said I reckon in real terms our incomes and the percentage of that we spend on housing are about the same, so the biggest difference is down to house price rises (and then stuff like me not caring about being seen to have a new car).

I worry about this for my almost adult kids.

My parents were better off than their parents. We are better off than they are. It's lovely to get more comfortable as you age and you appreciate it.
My kids are less spoiled than many of their peers and have been expected to get weekend jobs at 16, however they are still used to having and doing lots, and living in a nice house.
They aren't going to be able to sustain this on their own in the current climate. We've sort of accepted that we may be subsidising them for quite a while. Not giving them an easy ride so to speak. Just topping up what they can save themselves for a house deposit, car etc. They will be expected to make an effort themselves but I see it a bit unfair to have let them grow up with what they have and then have that all taken away or not attainable.

It's tricky. I think this issue will mean a lot of unhappy and discontented adults in the future through no fault of their own. It's hard to go backwards.

Definitely... growing up in the eighties and nineties, we were very comfortable. I went to private school, we had a very big house in a nice part of London, nice holidays, music lessons, lots of eating out.

We now have a house in London, nothing very grand but I feel very lucky as we have a playroom, enough bedrooms and two bathrooms... but we don't have much left after paying for the essentials...I budget very carefully.

Interestingly I remember when I was at private school, there were so many kids there from really normal backgrounds...so dads in middle management and mums in admin for example but they could still afford private school. The equivalent family nowadays couldn't do that.

My ds just left primary school, out of 90 kids, only one went on to a private secondary and that was on a scholarship.

Standards of living are definitely lower now.

I grew up in another country. I thought we were poor, as my mother's attitude was very shitty. We lived in a nice apartment, went on foreign holidays. Now i live in a council house, which is tiny 😪

My dad was a policeman in Northern Ireland. He earned enough to buy a detached property in the countryside in a very desirable area, have 4 kids, run 2 cars and we usually had a holiday to England or Scotland every year. My mum didn’t work. He retired at 60. No mortgage left and has a very good lifestyle.
DH and I are both graduates and work in middle class professions. We live in a slightly rough area in a semi detached house. We both work long hours. Our kids have never been abroad. We have one car and zero savings. Also our kids are left to their own devices more than I would like due to both DH and I working ( I work from home). We definitely have a worse standard of living than my parents and so do my children as a result. Also, my parents or in-laws have not helped us financially at all whereas my parents benefitted from ongoing support from their parents.

Many people will be worse off if you compare luxuries as the economy is worse.

I grew up in a large house and had a reasonable standard of living from the age of 10, before that was a typical 1970’s working class upbringing in a tiny terrace.
My kids will have to work extremely hard to match their upbringing, large house, multiple foreign holiday etc

Hugely better off now, but most of the friends and family I know who had more "wealthy" upbringings have a much "poorer" standard of living now, despite private education etc, because they never aimed for the education, then employment, of jobs that would afford them the same lifestyle as their parents gave them. Unfortunately, a lot of them also still spend like they have that old lifestyle, and are in massive debt.

Jesus, not being able to afford a foreign holiday is not poor, OP. You live a charmed life compared to some. I did grow up in a poor family (90s childhood). My parents couldn’t afford milk somedays and I wasn’t allowed to drink the milk we had. They counted pennies to be able to buy a bottle and were sometimes a few pence short to buy it so we went without. That’s poor. You have it easy.

We're not well off. Grew up in a lovely house by the sea, a sahp, a yacht, private school etc. We never went on holiday though, too much fun to be had on the beach and the boat. Money never felt in ready supply, but we were very comfortable. Parents are now more comfortable in retirement, dad retired at 54 and they've done ok on house prices etc.

But we are comfortable and very fortunate. We have a lovely house, that while it could do with being bigger is great. Kids go to a lovely state school just around the corner, we have lots of fun. And are very close to my parents. Sadly my husband has lost both his parents, his much loved mother earlier this year. So it is a perspective question I think. We had an inheritance, but would rather not have it.