To feel poor compared to when I was a child growing up

[Keepgoing88]

I'm curious to know if there are many people out there who as a family are less well off than when growing up? We are not poor but I do feel a lot less well off than my parents were. We haven't been on a foreign holiday for few years (prob could afford a not so fancy one though). We could never afford the house I grew up in and sometimes struggle to break even on a month (large mortgage etc). It gets me down that I feel the standard of living we have is less than when I grew up. Does anyone else experience a similar situation? My DH feels fine but we are considerably better off than he was growing up.

Yes, I grew up in a very wealthy family, we had multiple lovely homes, exotic holidays flying first class, and I was privately educated. I had a nervous breakdown at university and dropped out. Now I work a minimum wage job part time, and had a baby at 21 so my life is very, very different. My parents didn't spoil me monetarily though, I could never keep up with my friends on my £20 a month allowance, so at least I am used to not having much agency on what I spend on. There is no way on earth I will ever be able to match my parents wealth, I doubt I will ever own a home, let alone a couple of million pound houses/flats. I try not to think about it because it makes me feel deeply depressed. I've worked pretty consistently since I was 13 at my parents insistence that hard work brings dividends, but it doesn't if it's shitty voluntary/minimum wage work and I feel angry I spent my teenage summers working 12 hour days. I missed out on so much.

Yes, we're not as well off.

My parents worked in the public sector and so do I. My husband has a reasonably well paid job in the private sector. At the same age, my parents had:

Large house, currently valued around 700,000 (ours is a 3 bed semi worth half that)
Full time nanny (no way we could afford a nanny. We can afford 3 days a week nursery for 2 children - me working full time would cost us money)
2 foreign holidays every year (we have none)
A meal out at a nice restaurant every Friday night, paying the nanny to babysit (we could maybe afford to go out once a month, but not with babysitter costs on top)
Paid for activities for me every day after school and more at the weekend. (We stretch to swimming lessons for eldest only)
Lots of other things - just a generally relaxed attitude to buying food, clothes, toiletries etc. (We budget everything to within an inch of our lives).

The difference is massive.

I suspect this may turn into an intergenerational spat thread - surely this is fairly common, with the state of the economy now, the fact many of our parents would have benefited from high house price growth, better/more secure jobs, better pensions etc etc. We certainly aren't as well off as my parents were and don't have a hope in hell of affording a house like the one I grew up in.

Yes definitely. My parents weren't well off but they could afford children and a mortgage. Both of which are out of reach for us currently despite university education which they didn't have.

Makes me extremely depressed to think about it as when I was younger the expectation was that children would have a better standard of living than their parents and I can't even afford to match theirs.

I think that one of the fundamental problems with a capitalist economy is the expectation that everything needs to grow bigger and better all the time. It's not sustainable. Maybe the next generation will have less material stuff but will succeed in not fucking up the environment the way the way the last one did?

I'm guessing you're quite young?

I had a very cheap, simple (but happy) childhood in the 70s and 80s as most of my friends did.

I think my own family is similar to my childhood.

My parents both work full time, as do we, and as a child we did 2 abroad holidays (one of which was staying with family), my own dc have been on one (5 and 8).

We bought much much sooner than my parents; but they were in a rent controlled home so paid 25 per week (!!!!) Until 1997. There was no incentive to move before that.

Money wise it's all very similar.

I came from a South London council estate. My sister and I were the first generation to go to university and I work in the public sector. I’ve spent most of my adult life paying around 40 percent of my income to a private landlord. My parents paid 25 percent of theirs to the council for a much nicer home. My standard of living has been much lower than theirs.
Dh come from a middle class background but his standard of living has also fallen compared to his childhood. An inheritance from his side got us on to the property ladder though.

No i'm much better off than when i was a kid. We had no money which spurred me on to make my own.

Snap with Vulpine above. We were very poor. I have been very driven to make money. My children have a much better standard of living than I did.

we are not rich by any means but we are much better than I was a child.

I think I'm reasonably on par with my parents. They bought a home sooner, but my first home is bigger than theirs. I'm in a better paying job than they are currently never mind when they were my age. But I do already have more debt than they did, much bigger mortgage etc so its worse for me in that respect.

I think we are similar to my parents at this stage of life, except they had just managed to buy a house on one wage.

I think things were pretty tight while we were little - mum gave up work until each kid was 3, then did part time, pretty similar to the choices I have made except I went back to working part time sooner. And we will have a smaller age gap. Finances were better once we kids were a bit older and mum was back at work. She went full time when both of us were in secondary school, and then we had noticeably more spending money (started going abroad more, more days out and money to spend on luxuries).

My mum has tales of rooting around for change down the back of the sofa when we were little so my dad could go for a pint at the pub. Making bizarre meals out of what was in the cupboard. Making do. We had a wonderfully happy childhood and I wouldn’t really wish it to have been more affluent.

As the adult now I would prefer a bit more financial wriggle room although I am happy with our choices and accept these are just lean times. I’m fairly sure dd is just happy she is loved and warm and fed.

My experience isn't as drastically different as some have posted about, but yes, I feel it.

I grew up in a northern working class family, with my dad as the main wage earner. We didn't go to childcare, my mum was at home. My mum worked various part-time jobs as my siblings and I got older but it was always at weekends or when we were in school.

We lived in a three-bed semi with a loft conversion added later. There was a back garden, big enough for my dad to build himself a workshop and still leave the rest of the garden a decent size.

My dad always had nice company cars and paid extra so he could upgrade. We had a holiday abroad every year, with several UK trips camping or in caravans for long weekends.

In contrast, my husband and I both work full-time. I am the main wage earner with career prospects. My husband has been in the same job for nearly 15 years, but stays because he works shifts that mean he gets a block of days off work.

We rely heavily on paid childcare.

We rent a three-bed terrace, with a small back yard that is unusable due to disrepair and a dilapidated shed taking up all the space.

We have only had a car for a year but it's an old banger. I actually don't care about that as long as it's driveable but I've not passed my driving test yet and have concerns about whether I can handle it.

We've never been on a holiday abroad and have only been on one UK holiday.

I couldn't work for years due to ill health and have only been back working for three years, but I'm doing really well and have been promoted in that time.

Our children are autistic, so that's also affected our finances a lot. I was physically well enough to go back to work sooner but we were in the middle of all the autism diagnosis stuff for my oldest and he was doing better with me at home, so I waited.

I do think we'll reach the standard of living I enjoyed as a child, but my parents had it at a much earlier stage, and it was easier for them. They didn't suffer from having a parent at home, whereas we did and we weren't quite at the stage of needing a food bank (benefits fuck up!) but it was a very close thing.

We're getting there. The main thing I wish I could give my children is access to a garden. I don't even care about owning our own home any more, although the security of it would be wonderful.

No. Much better off now. However my mum and my dh's mum never worked even when kids at school etc, and maintained an ok standard of living, paid off mortgage etc. Two working parents weren't required.

Nope I was a child in the seventies and teenage in the eighties and although we had a lot more freedom to play out that’s the only thing that was better. We were very poor, wore hand me downs and shoes till they fell apart and mum cut our hair (badly). Our house was cold, we hid from the milkman and the catalogue lady and food was basic to say the least.

My kids have none of these worries but we’re not wealthy.

I definitely don’t think everything is better now but life is definitely more comfortable.

I'm better off than my parents through a mixture of luck and being settled before having a family. Can afford afterschool lessons etc. I dont think my children will be able to have same lifestyle when adults due to cost of housing alone

Definitely op.Couldnt agree more. My mum and dad were able to give all of us 3 kids a lovely life in the 80s, despite not having particularly well paying jobs. Their rent was low, and we were able to enjoy life, lots of nights out, holidays, clothes..we were just contented really. As a contrast my DH and I earn double what my parents did and we can no way provide the sort of lifestyle they did for our kids. Things seem to have got worse steadily since about 2010. Life feels like a struggle and I worry alot.

No, my childhood was rubbish. Basic food, no treats, no hobbies etc and I was determined to ensure that it wouldn’t stay that way as an adult and certainly not for my children.

We aren’t rich but can afford a nice life and didn’t mortgage to the hilt like many seem to do.

Yes, I think it’s common. My dad worked in the public sector and has a great pension. No need for my mum to work. DH and I both have to work full time, in private companies, earning far less and with only the legal minimum of pension provision. I worry about our future, and that of our children, a lot.

I grew up dirt poor. One of 5 in a single parent household. Barely enough food, no central heating, damp house and never new clothes let alone a holiday.

Myself and DP have average paying jobs but I am so grateful everyday. I think of it every morning when I have a hot shower because we never had hot water growing up. You and your children are so blessed, you just don't know it OP. I'm glad my daughter is so lucky but she'll probably never realise it either

Much better off than my parents but my dad had a very cautious attitude towards spending money and I have a much more facilitative approach. I spend freely on my kids and treat them alot. I don't overspend but I could probably save much more. I have greater job security and a generous defined benefit pension scheme so I can afford to be more relaxed about money. I did have many tough years financially but through further study and a number of promotions I am comfortable.

I suspect a lot of it is generational
But also my parents were incredibly high earners. Grew up in a house worth now millions and probably worth a million or so in the early 90s when they bought it, I’ve never asked, lots of holidays (several a year), nice cars, I had a stable of showjumping ponies.
I’m on a good wage now but nothing compared to that.

I had a very privileged upbringing. Houses, land, clothes, fantastic holidays, private school, finishing school. There isn't much of that money left.

I met DH who grew up very poor - remembers hunger and jumble sale clothes. DH has made enough to recreate the lifestyle I had for our children. My mother still thinks dd was deprived because she didn't have a pony. We lived in zone 2!!!!

Our children. Well time will tell. They are both Oxbridge and both grafters although dd is not resilient and her mh has been frail. But they will inherit and be ok as will their DC but after that who knows.

My parents on a single income had a much bigger house (5 bed 2 lounge vs 2 bed 1 tiny living room/dining but at least I’m on the ladder) and they always had 2 cars. On the other hand I have far more overseas holidays, electronic toys that were science fiction, cheap clothes thanks to third world sweat shops, and my car is vastly superior to anything built 20 years ago never mind 30 or 40.

We are better off than I was as a child, our children have a big house with a room each and we go abroad for holidays, plus UK holiday, camping weekends etc. I shared a room when young, but had a single working mum.

We are probably on a par with my DH, but he was one of 3 and his mum didn't work much, so they had a four bed house, garden, two cars etc on one professional wage, one small wage. We both work full time, so it's two professional wages. It will be interesting to see how it compares as the children grow.