To feel poor compared to when I was a child growing up

[Keepgoing88]

I'm curious to know if there are many people out there who as a family are less well off than when growing up? We are not poor but I do feel a lot less well off than my parents were. We haven't been on a foreign holiday for few years (prob could afford a not so fancy one though). We could never afford the house I grew up in and sometimes struggle to break even on a month (large mortgage etc). It gets me down that I feel the standard of living we have is less than when I grew up. Does anyone else experience a similar situation? My DH feels fine but we are considerably better off than he was growing up.

If my parents were bringing up kids now they couldn't have afforded what they did then. They lived in London with one doctor's salary (and initially just a junior doctor) and one part time admin salary and put two kids through private school, and had foreign holidays, meals out etc.

@katewhinesalot I'd say I'm pretty happy. I have mental health issues (pretty severe anxiety which at its worst caused massive panic attacks and hallucinations, it's well controlled now as long as I remember my meds) but I think we as a family are happier than my family was when I was a child. We don't have as much money but we have a lot of affection, we spend a lot of time together so I feel like we're richer in that sense. I do still look at some things and wish we could afford them etc but we have a hell of a lot more than some people do so I'm very grateful for what we have that we've both worked hard for. We see money differently to my parents definitely.

I grew up in the 70s, with a father in secure steady well paid employment. Mum picked up the odd part time job as we got older. Parents very financially cautious, so although there was always money to cover all the Bill's and pay off their mortgage early, there was little in terms of luxury. However this was the 70s and there just wasnt the vast array of consumables on offer as there are today. I wore hand me downs as that was seen as a practical way of re using quality garments that still had plenty of live in them. Both me and DH work, but spend alot of our spare income. So I feel wealthier. But we have less investments than my DP.
It my mother instilled in is that each generation should do better than the last. In that way we have. But weve made financial choices to ensure we did. Both work FT, less children, modest house. Mortgage will be paid off before we retire.

This thread is quite timely for me as I’m due to start my universal credit claim today due to my 16yr old ds “failing” a PIP assessment which means that carers/DLA etc all stopped in August and the “change in circumstances” has triggered a move to UC.
We are already struggling and i dread the next few months.

I grew up on a really rough council estate in Liverpool. It was rough and ready but had a real sense of community. Parents rented a nice 3 bedroom home, my dad worked for a large company and had a company car every 3 years. My mum was a SAHM until I was in high school ( I’m eldest of 3 ) and we had a lovely life to be honest.

I’ve heard about stories before my dad got that particular job when times were really tough and they struggled to put 50p in the meter but the slight difference was they had both sets of grandparents nearby who helped practically and financially and were brilliant.
There were no food banks back then, I was born in 1978 and food was simple. You got what you were given and ate it or went hungry.

My parents managed to buy their own home, a new build in 1998 when they were 40/41. There was a government incentive at the time which they took advantage of and it was a huge deal at the time to leave the estate for a new posh house in a “posh area” and things improved all round then.

I’m now back on the estate I grew up on but I love it. There are lots of hardworking people who live here, decent people, aswell as the odd scallywag! I am in bad health and wish I could work but I can’t.

It doesn’t bother me that I rent, I am happy with my lot but just worry about the future i suppose. Appeal has been submitted to PIP only yesterday and we have a very strong case ( ds has ASD ) and we will get paid back if we win. Sorry for derail.

My mum always said though that things like school uniforms and even Easter eggs were comparatively more expensive when I was a child.

However, when I read about the welfare system in places like America I thank my lucky stars I live here and not there.

Wow apologies for such long post

Opposite. Was the poor kid at my secondary school (top grammar - won't go so far as to call it snobby as I now work there 😂 - everyone had a pony and a pool and I had Gola trainers and free school meals). How I feel about it varies, obviously glad my kids want for nothing and have things I once saw as very posh but there again they know no different so it's a bit sad that things I would have wet myself with excitement over are just boring everyday things to them. It's all relative.

Nope, I have a much better standard of living than I did when I was young. I grew up in a squashed council house, sharing a bedroom with 3 relatives. Never went hungry and had lots of toys at Christmas etc. But my mum went without food some nights to feed us: and also only owned one pair of trousers at one point. We rarely went on holiday (only once abroad and that was by bus). Not many activities or lunches/ dinners out (unless special occasions).

We lived in a 4 bed, 3.5 reception house with one child. Have plenty of food and clothes. We eat out regularly and our son does lots of activities. We’ve only did one holiday abroad since our son was born: but we are both working part time and will be full time when he starts school.

It’s strange, but I always found a lot of middle class people my age really entitled when I was young; it was as though they expected everything handed to them on a plate

The prices of London houses and private school fees have gone up much more than other things. Professional salaries not so much. So if that was your childhood experience then you are not going to be able to replicate it. But that doesn't mean that most people are worse off. Lots of stuff is much cheaper compared to average wages.

I'm a youngest child of older parents brought up in the 70's and 80's. I didn't see their struggles when they were younger living in tiny rented houses with outdoor loos and both mum and dad working in industry. By the time I was born dad had got a "good" job teaching and an inheritance had financed them building their own house, so no mortgage. Mum had little jobs, dinner lady etc but didn't go to the mill anymore. We never went abroad or holidayed much at all, but had a rented colour telly before most of my friends and mum had a new small car every 5 years or so, dad drove an old banger to work they wanted the new car to keep us kids safe.
I had a wonderful childhood. Not many luxuries but wanted for nothing. My dd has a similar existence, because again she has older parents and hasn't seen the struggles. My ds lived through me being a single mum, with low paid jobs, going to university etc and living in a drafty old house that took all my money ( but was mortgaged not rented) and saw me struggling to make ends meet.
So I'd say my life has reflected my b parents well, a tougher start to independence then more comfortable later on.

Better off now. My parents both worked full time but not high earners, grew up in a council house. Grandparents took us for a weeks holiday every year so parents didn't need to take time off work and the first time I went abroad I was an adult and used my own money, oh and my Dad didn't have a car and Mum couldn't drive. I don't remember having takeaways but we did go the Beefeater once a month on parents day off.

There is so much more 'stuff' to buy now, some of which is wasteful - and I'm as guilty as the next person. The supermarkets used to be small for a start so I guess families spent a lot less on groceries, so actually it's difficult to compare as life was very different. I was born in the early 70s.

We have a much better standard of living than when I was younger, we never went abroad, although my childhood was lovely, I didn't have the same experiences as my children do today.

DH grew up in a mining village in northumberland with an abusive father.

We live in Beaconsfield, which is one of the most affluent areas of the county, the majority of our friends living here have seen their standard of living improve dramatically since they were children.

I think most people have access to more things than I ever did as a child, most people had fewer possessions - clothes and furniture and little access to technology than they do now. Diets have generally improved too.

The biggest issue is renting. I am renting after selling a house and have been astonished as to how awful and expensive it is. I have the deepest sympathy for anyone trapped in it. It started when people started selling their council houses which depleted the sector.Tax breaks for landlords etc. Capitalisim at its worst. I don't know how you manage to buy a house anymore.

I grew up in the 70's my parents had a mortgage but very little money, no central heating, outside toilet, we didn't ask for things as we were aware that money was tight, we had the odd caravan/butlins type holiday but not every year. We were poor but happy and on a par with our friends. My lifestyle is much better now than my parents had, own house, foreign holidays, new car, disposable income etc. I worked hard for this, if had my struggles when money has been tight. For the poster that said our generation has ruined the environment, most of us were not very well informed, there wasnt all the information available like there is now. Also, I dont recall the benefits system being as it is now, people worked, even single parents, cleaning jobs, pub jobs, school jobs. Siblings looked after each other while the parent worked

I'm the opposite. My parents never had much money and when it seemed like they had some, I later found out it was usually loans/credit cards.

I grew up in a council house (which my parents still live in). I have three siblings and I'm the youngest yet the only own who owns their own home.

I saw the struggle growing up not knowing if bills would be paid. I saw my poor Dad working all the hours yet my lazy mother saying she couldn't work as she 'had kids'. I was the youngest and I've never seen her work a day in her life. It's not even like she was a doting Mum teaching us how to cook and knit.

Much worse in my family than either parents.

Despite us both working and having had a much more intensive education & working in "better" paid jobs. There's not many families can afford to buy a 3 bed bungalow and raise children on a Postal worker's wage as the only income now!!

We are much better off than both sets of parents. We have a bigger house, bigger incomes and more holidays. My childhood was very happy though and I always had what I needed. I try not to spoil my dc. We pay for private school so don’t have loads of money left to spoil them.

Yep me too. Dad had his own business and I didn't realise at the time (obviously) but looking back now I realise we were really well off.

I was one of 5 - we went to private school.

Me and my sister's had ponies. I had 2 at one point.

Mum never worked but we had a cleaner 3 times a week.

Mum went to the hairdresser's every Saturday morning for a wash and blow dry.

We went skiing every year and summer holidays including Disney a few times.

Mum did all our food shopping in marks and Spencers.

They would get new cars every 3 years (before the days of car finance) because they couldn't face the stress of having to have them MOT'd. Dad had 2 cars just because he could.

The house I grew up in is worth about £2 million. We had a swimming pool in the garden and I am ashamed to say I moaned once because it wasn't indoor.

We all got bought a brand new car when we learnt to drive.

I live in a semi, my children don't go to private school, I work part time, we don't have new cars, we can't afford to go skiing, we don't have a cleaner and I can't afford 1 horse let alone 3.

Oh to be rich !

I'm now probably better off than my parents were at this age (45) but it's been harder for me to achieve (with a lucky wildcard thrown in) if you see what I mean.

By this stage my parents had paid off their mortgage on a large detached seafront house with a huge garden. Dad worked FT, mum worked very part time. We were fairly comfortably off, privately educated, never an issue paying for clubs/activities/school trips. Several pedigree pets. Three cars. They were frugal in other ways though. Pensions were much better and Dad retired completely at 55 after a "job for life". That's only 10 years off for me.

Both daughters went to uni. No fees in those days. Not eligible for grant so they fully funded our living costs (no loans needed).

In contrast H and I both work full time. We've had to be ambitious and determined. H had been made redundant 3 x and has had to pick himself up and find another job pronto. I work in the City and it's been a constant battle to succeed and earn bonuses. Finally made partner last year.

Two children. I had to go back to work after 4 months first time and 5 months second time or were efficient have been able to cover the mortgage. Thanks to us each inheriting money from dearly departed grandparents we were able to pay off a chunk of mortgage (about half) and save up/overpay the rest. I know how lucky we are to be mortgage free but it's cost far far more money/work/time/sacrifice than it did for my parents. A fair bit of my spare income goes to overpaying my pension in case I need to retire before 67 - something parents never needed to worry about.

Kids go to state school. Private may be possible but a squeeze. If they go to uni it will cost a fortune if we don't want them saddled with debt.

I know how lucky we are but it's been very hard at times and I feel we've often struggled in a way my parents never had to.

My H's family were "old money". Massive house, dad worked in the City but strictly 9-5, kids went to public school, mum didn't have to work. H definitely has a standard of living well below what he grew up with.

Sadly I think it will be be even harder for our children. I doubt they'll be able to buy a property without significant help from us unless they are very successful at work (or move away from the south east!)

But I think of the other things we pay for that parents never did. So water was rated not metered, no mobile phones, a single phone line to the house that wasn't used that much so bills lower, no sky as not necessary, no internet ditto, no costa/nero etc etc.

I have more than they ever had - mostly as our house is worth a fair bit and theirs never was in the scheme of things, we do not have a massive mortgage as I was lucky to make some money on a couple of house sales - lucky in that I worked like a trojan to renovate as well as FT working, and also I had invested early in life which meant pay outs earlier. My pension is a bit low but hoping to do something about that this year which gives me a good 15 yrs to build more (self employed).

Rather than sit and whinge about it how about asking yourself what you are doing about it especially for longer term

I grew up in a council house. Poor. Now own my own home outright at 42. I’m far better off now than I was. Not everyone’s parents were well off . Far from it.

I grew up in the late 60s/70s and my family would have been considered very middle-class. My parents owned their own 4-bed detached house in a well-to-do town in the SE, and we went to "good" schools (state).
However, our daily living was quite basic, compared to many nowadays. Tea for us kids would be beans on toast, we rarely if ever ate out, holidays would be either at grandparents' by the sea or maybe camping abroad (cheapest way my parents could educate us in the museums and sights of European cities) and any weekends away would be reciprocal stays with family friends or relatives. Clothes were almost always hand-me-downs
Plus, my mother had to work full-time from when I was 4, and she worried incessantly about money. We were brought up not to expect anything given to us, and I learnt the phrase "you''ll be lucky" early on when expressing a desire for something (an 'etch-a-sketch') for Christmas. We got gifts, yes, but seldom exactly what we'd asked for (so, if I yearned for a cape - all the rage - I received a hand-knitted poncho by my grandma).
Character-building though!
I think in relative terms though, we probably live a similar life-style nowadays, but ironically, our financial circumstances have just changed substantially for the better via an inheritance from those same money-saving parents.

Two working parents should not be struggling.

Have you ever read any of Elizabeth Warren's The Two Income Trap? In it she makes a really strong case for the the fact that families who rely on two incomes will always struggle and be less stable than families who are able to get by on one. That in the last generation or two as we have shifted from one income families being the norm to two incomes being necessary, living standards have fallen and will continue to fall.

Having two parents working benefits the wider economy on paper but it lessens people's actual standards of living very quickly. Two incomes only improve family finances if the second income is entirely unnecessary and serves only for luxury spending. Once the second income starts to become necessary income, which it will quite quickly when one of our most essential needs, housing, is priced based on supply and demand, (ie the growth in two income families was a major factor in house prices sky-rocketing). The family situation become far more precarious and standards of living drop overall.

Sorry if this seems insensitive, but for some of the posters who had wealthy childhoods - obviously none of us know what will happen with care home fees etc but is there not a reasonable chance you could inherit some of your parents wealth and become quite wealthy in later life

Probably about the same as my parents. They weren’t poor compared to anyone else at the time but had to watch the money. They were the first in their family/friends to have a mortgage in the early 1960s so everyone thought they were loaded as they “had their own house”. What they didn’t realise was that my parents were paying £13 a month mortgage from a £13 a week salary, while they were paying £1 a week council rent from a similar salary, so my parents didn’t have any disposable income.
Mum gave up work when she had children, as was the way then, and went back part time when the youngest was 4. We had our first holiday abroad in 1981. They became better off when their mortgage was paid off when we were in our teens (20 year mortgage term then)
We’ve been very similar, took our first mortgage based one 1 salary, and bought a house before we had kids, so we had the money to do it rather than having the kids first. The single salary mortgage has allowed me to work part time since we had kids, although it was very tight when they were younger. We’re feeling a bit better off now and the end of our mortgage is in sight

@alittleprivacy that’s a very interesting point which backs up a suspicion I’ve held for years about the double incomes pushing up house prices