Would this annoy you - pre teen sleepover related

[iwantavuvezela]

So my DD is having a sleepover - all girls, 12-13 years old. I’m used to a big sleepover , grin and bear it! Earlier I prepared pre trick and treat snacks, then made them a meal, they went out trick and treating, then watched a movie.
However I have just gone down to find that some of her friends have taken it upon themselves to start cooking pasta and a sauce! I don’t know why but I feel annoyed!

I would never expect that my DD would do this at someone’s house - and feel strangely put out by this. AIBU? Genuinely asking!

TBF we still don't know if they asked the OP's daughter if they could or not.

Even if they did, it's still a rude thing to do after they had already been served a meal (and snacks, according to the OP). You don't go to someone else's house to guzzle your way through the contents of their kitchen.

My dd11 will cook for her and her friends if they are hungry. She did pizza and chips the other night and my ds10 did the same after. All unsupervised on the proviso that they clean up afterwards.

I also would have no issue with one of her friends cooking something if it was something they wanted and were able to cook.

But it seems from your post that this other girl was asserting herself and taking over with no regard for your dd and her home and any rules that her family might have. Just because my dd is allowed do something doesn't mean she should expect that this is ok in another house and she is old enough to understand that different houses have different ways.

I don't think it's the cooking you are annoyed with but the power imbalance between your dd and this girl. The friend is the one marking her territory not you. She is doing as she pleases in your house despite your dds reservations and has demonstrated that she doesn't give a shit about your dds boundaries.

Of course this is not about a bowl of pasta so definitely have a chat with your dd so she can articulate how she felt and rationalise it herself.

Id be pissed too

You don't eat pasta unless you're hungry though! Rude and presumption mifnyour daughter wasn't involved.

Ohx just read about your daughter feeling alarmed and them mocking her granny... I'd guide her towards different friends, they don't sound nice at all..