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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is DS?

33 replies

Greenab · 31/10/2019 17:26

Used to have an account here but deleted it.

Son (15) grew out of his coat a few days ago and I went to get one yesterday but he didn't want to come. He isn't usually fussy with clothes (doesn't care what he wears). So I brought him a lovely black coat with fur on the hood and he is saying he hates it because it's "girly".

I don't think that is so AIBU or is son?

What should I do

OP posts:
Jeezoh · 31/10/2019 17:27

Get him to take it back and swap it for one he likes

Myneighboursnorlax · 31/10/2019 17:28

I can’t imagine many teenage boys wanting to wear a coat with fur on the hood...

PurpleDaisies · 31/10/2019 17:29

Just swap it for one he likes. Most 15 year old want some autonomy over what they wear.

RedskyToNight · 31/10/2019 17:30

Agree let him take it back. Does he even want a coat?

Reachedsohigh · 31/10/2019 17:35

My almost 25 year old wouldn't wear a coat with fur on the hood, it is girly. Most boys here have a plain black puffa type coat, which they stuff in their school bag and don't wear 😂.
Does he actually even want a coat?

Reachedsohigh · 31/10/2019 17:36

Almost 15 year old obviously, if he was 25 he could buy his own!

Original poster
Greenab · 31/10/2019 17:43

Yes he wanted a coat.

He used to have a blue coat but the school has changed the rules where coats have to be black.

I asked him if he wanted to choose a coat and he didn't want to get him anything.

OP posts:
70isaLimitNotaTarget · 31/10/2019 18:03

Can you take the fur off or the whole hood off?

My DS never likes shopping for clothes , I only drag him out for shoes and jeans (he's awkwardly tall and thin) .
I take him out for a binge shop twice a year .

I have been known to ask other young men /boys his age "Would you wear this" ? and often the answer is an "Erm No!"
(Which saves me wasting money)

ColdRainAgain · 31/10/2019 18:06

Have you cut the tags off? If not, take it back.
If yes, is the hood detachable?
Online shopping - or click and collect might be your friend to get him to approve the coat without actually going shopping.

steff13 · 31/10/2019 18:25

I'd return it. My boys are 20 and 18 and neither of them would wear a coat with a fur hood. Just a plain black puffer jacket is probably suitable.

Zebraaa · 31/10/2019 18:29

He’s not a baby, you can’t dress him in things you prefer. He needs to go and choose.

missyB1 · 31/10/2019 18:31

In some ways it’s his own fault he shouldn’t have been so lazy! Give him the receipt and make him take it back.

CreatedBySombra · 31/10/2019 18:32

YABU I wouldn't wear a hood with fur. It is girly and ghastly

Woopdewoop · 31/10/2019 18:34

Take it back and get him to choose one online with you. No 15 year old boy likes shopping

mybabyisteething · 31/10/2019 18:34

My husband's winter coat has a fluffy hood! I don't think it's girly at all! He said it keeps him warmer.

I would take it back and make sure he's with you.

If he was so bothered about it, he should've gone with you or said no fluff!

Rose789 · 31/10/2019 18:42

I couldn’t imagine any 15 year old boys that I know being happy to wear a hood with fur on it.
Take it back and tell him to go with you to choose a replacement.
If he refuses (again) then tell him it’s the furry coat or nowt

Meercat2 · 31/10/2019 18:52

My 22 yr old DS literally just came home with a new coat with fur on it. He bought it in Topman. It's lovely 😀

DariaMorgendorffer · 31/10/2019 18:58

Aw, it's an age where they really don't want to look bad! I would take it back and encourage him to pick another.

helpfulperson · 31/10/2019 19:35

I would strongly make the point to him that if he can't be bothered to come and make the effort to chose this is the consequence and he shouldn't moan when someone does him a favour. But then I would let him take it back and swop if because I can't imagine a 15 year old boy in a coat with a fur hood.

shouldhavecalleditoatabix · 31/10/2019 20:56

My dad bought me school shoes 23 years ago that I hated. I still remember the fight to this day. It's not worth it OP, I would make him go with you to exchange it

Velveteenfruitbowl · 31/10/2019 20:58

I wouldn’t wear a coat with fur on the hood and I’m a 25 year old woman. Just exchange it (or rather make him exchange it).

GingersAreLush · 31/10/2019 21:02

What would I do? Take it back of course. No point in spending money on something that’s going to never be worn. If he wants a new coat he needs to choose it, either out shopping with you or online.

Bouledeneige · 31/10/2019 21:16

No my DS who's now 17 would never wear a coat with a furry trim. Take it back and either get him a new one with him choosing online or coming to the shop or don't bother.

ActualHornist · 31/10/2019 21:19

Jesus Christ he’s 15! Take it back and tell him to choose one he wants. There is no point getting into a pissing contest about this - he will win as he just won’t wear it.

Honestly could you not have sent him a photo first if you’re insistent on buying his clothing for him?

iolaus · 31/10/2019 21:21

If he's anything like my 15 year old he won't wear it whatever it looks like, regardless of the fur - picked him up the other day in the pouring rain from school - where's your coat? in my bag - whats the issue I'm wearing my blazer

But it does sound more like a girls coat

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