To think this is beyond cruel

[Ayemama]

I'm gona try keep this short.

My gran is having to go into a nursing home due to very poor health. This is a difficult in itself.

However she also has a cat who we are unfortunately having to rehome.
I can't have her as I already have a cat and my landlord won't let me have another. My parents can't take her either due to poor health there.
So my uncle and his wife have decided that they want her which is great except they live 9 hours away.
I think it's cruel to make a cat travel 9 hours (she hates the car and wails continuously for the 10 minute journey to the vets and back)
A friend of mine has recently said he's looking for a new cat after his last one passed away from old age and he lives 30 mins away at most so much less stressful for everyone.

I think that this is the best option however my family are adamant that the cat should stay within the family which I understand is what my grandmother would prefer but given the distance the cat would have to travel it seems insane.

Am I missing some magical way to make a cat suddenly less stressed and upset for the a mammoth journey?
I'm Waiting for a call back from the vet to talk to them about this too.

Am I totally unreasonable to think that the cat doesn't really care whether it's living with a blood relative of it's owner (who she has met maybe 3 times) as long as she has a loving and safe home?

Tell your relatives there's been a change and cat can stay with you after all. Give cat to friend. If/when relatives visit, explain cats fought and that this was for the best. Job done.

I think the cat will be fine, don’t worry about it

It's not ideal, and the cat might protest but in reality it will be fine and in terms of genuine animal cruelty it's not even an issue. The vet will be able to give something to calm the cat if genuinely necessary, but the likelihood is it will kick off for the first part of the journey then give up and go to sleep. Treatments like Zylkene and Pet Remedy are effective for managing stressful situations and can be bought without prescription so it should be easy enough to manage.

Our cat had extensive surgery and treatment at a specialist animal hospital hours from our home, so we made the journey regularly for months. He whined from beginning to end of every single journey, but was absolutely fine as soon as we got out of the car.

My cat hates car journeys; short ones she will cry, anything longer than 20 minutes she actually gets really sick. Imagine a carrier with a poor cat that peed, pooped and vomited in 😢 I knew she didn’t like travelling but didn’t expect that; apparently it’s fairly common for older cats.
I would ideally go by the wishes of your nan but only if you can make it a safe journey for that cat; 9 hours is hellish for anyone, let alone a poor little cat stuck in a carrier for 9 hours.

'Beyond cruel' would be leaving the cat and selling the house. Transporting the cat isn't cruel, because it's for the cat's welfare, like going to the vet.

We sedated our cats when we moved a seven hour drive away and they were fine. Plug-ins won't work, it needs to be actual drugs, which the vet will give you to put in the cat's food on the morning of the move. Cat will be fine.

I would send the cat to your uncle's despite the journey and I am very indulgent of my cat.

I wouldn't trust a friend. People change their minds about cats and there is always a danger that they won't treat the cat as your gran would have wanted it to be treated.

9 hours of stress for the cat is worth it for a remaining lifetime of (almost) guaranteed happiness with people you can trust.

@ ContessaLovesTheSunshine but why would you go against someone’s wishes , lie to all these people? That’s really wrong & you would have to keep the lie going until what... the cat does?
Do people actually do this kind of thing

*dies

Maybe consider a home for gran that takes cat's ( some do)

As either your uncle or Aunty is the actual child/next of kin for your Grandma, I think you should let them make the decision about the cat. You are overstepping by contacting the vet. Not really your business if her own child wants to take the cat and it will be looked after.

My cats hate car journeys too, but I'd still go for the uncle solution

I think there would be a danger if the cat lived only 30 minutes away that it would try and find its way back to its old home. That's much less likely if it is 9 hours away.

This is not worth upsetting your family and particularly your Gran over. The cat will be fine, even if it has a somewhat uncomfortable one-off journey. My elderly cat hates going to the vet, but now has a gabapentin tablet every time and is totally chilled about the whole thing (before, he was stressed out, clawed everyone, yowled all the way there and back). Just ask the vet for something suitable to sedate an elderly cat for 9 hours and that's the job done. Nothing cruel or unusual about this at all. Do what is right for your Gran - the cat will be fine either way, but it would be cruel to an elderly lady who is going in to a home, not to respect her wishes.

Am I missing some magical way to make a cat suddenly less stressed and upset for the a mammoth journey?

Yes.

You talk to a vet and ask them about sedation.

Also I have it on good authority that cats tolerate longer journeys better than short. One of the CP volunteers had a selection in a van to drive to the national centre and was dreading the noise, within 30 mins they were all asleep.

My cat cries and howls during a 10 min journey to the vets or the cattery. When we had to do a 5 hr car journey for a house move, he cried for the first 10 mins, then the movement of the car seemed to lull him into a deep sleep and we had to wake him up when we arrived

I think if you believe your aunt and uncle will properly care for the cat and your grandmother will rest easier knowing the cat has gone to family, then it might be best to take the cat to aunt and uncle.
9 hours is a long time, but as pp have said you can sedate the cat (hopefully your vet will give you more info on this). Also, that same cat calming plug in brand also makes a spray which might be helpful to use on blankets or whatever you're putting into the cat carrier for the journey.
I've driven 3 hours before with my cat when I moved house. It wasn't the most quiet, pleasant journey but we made it ok and she settled very well into our new house once we arrived.

Santastoenailsandwich
I probably will have to be the one to drive her down, with my two young children in tow as no one else is able to/can drive.
Which will probably make it longer as I will have to stop once at least even if we drive overnight.

I have been asked to contact the vet as I am the one currently looking after the cat.
And while my uncle wants the cat he has done nothing to organise how she will get there and when asked changes the subject to how things will be for her when she is there.
So I have been left to sort it out.

We tried for a home that would take cat too but as she's very unwell and needs to be in the nursing suit we have been told this isn't an option.

I admit that the title of thread is a bit OTT but I can't change it now (I don't think?)

Have you already told the friend he can have the cat?

What does your Gran think? Is she able to have her say on the matter?

Cat will be fine and settle down much better after an hour or so when it resigns itself. Would recommend:-

• Feliway
• Covering the carrier with a blanket
• Talking to the cat to reassure it

Don't try to take it out of the carrier, don't give it water or food in the car. It'll bolt and will be impossible to catch.

You cant safely sedate an animal to transport it and no vet would condone that pr supply you with the meds.

One advantage of rehoming the cat locally is that the nursing home might allow it to visit her, if the new owner also agrees.
If your family want to do whats right for your Gran and the cat, a better option would be for them to pay for its care for the rest of its life - food, annual vaccinations and worming, pet insurance.
If they wont agree to that, just do what you think is best.

(And I'll just post this for anyone reading it; cats don't react to human meds in the same way that humans and dogs do. Dont ever try to use your meds to sedate or medicate your cat. Human meds may make them manic and uncontrollable, or kill them.)

Also keep it indoors at new home for at least 3 weeks, ideally with cat-proof fencing if there's a garden (which everyone should be using, if practicable anyway!)

We moved from Ireland to France with our 2. Overnight ferry plus 9 hour drive. They were fine. We got a big dog crate and put water and a disposable aluminium tray with litter in just in case. We sprayed the carrier with Feliway relaxant. They were fine. Complained a bit but otherwise unscathed.

Cruel no, there is plenty to do to make kitty more comfortable. Covering the carrier is really helpful to reduce stress.

while my uncle wants the cat he has done nothing to organise how she will get there and when asked changes the subject to how things will be for her when she is there

Hmm. If he can't reassure you that he can look after cat properly, I'd be making my own decisions.

It’s one journey which is that bad tbh, and the cat then gets to live the whole rest of its life within your family. You’re worrying abo it nothing

One of my cats absolutely despises travel - whether it be by car, tram, bus etc. she is an absolute wreck from the minute she gets in her very lovely (bloody expensive) travel basket to getting out at the other end, wherever that might be (usually the vets tbf to her).

I tried the car plug in, no effect, tried having somebody with her in the back to give treats, fuss etc, no effect. Discussed sedation with her vet for one very long journey when we were moving - we couldn’t try it as she is a small/disabled cat and sedation is only to be used as a necessity for her as she’s a little on the mature side as well now...

I took a punt on the calming spot on, hoping that maybe having it actually be on her rather than just sort of wafting around the car might help. It actually did. I gave her the first dose three days before we were due to move as us packing everything was causing her to lose fur due to stress, then second dose the day before, third dose on the morning of the move, along with a LOT of play with catnip toys before the movers arrived to tire her out.

Put her one of my t-shirts in the basket for a familiar/comforting scent (she’s quite a cuddle cat) and she was far calmer for the move than I’ve ever seen her in her basket before.

She had a few moments of scratching and meowing to get out of the basket, we did end up having to pull over a couple of times so she could wee and what have you (only managed this because she has a harness that she will let us use - if we didn’t have the harness we wouldn’t have risked it in case she bolted!).

It took her a few weeks to become comfortable in our new house and did lose patches of fur for a while (stress related over-grooming) but she’s back to her old self now and very happy to have an upstairs to explore (we were stuck in a tiny flat before).

Hope you find a way to manage your Grans Cat and the journey. The cat I refer to is one of two that I inherited from my Gran when she had to move into a retirement home