To think I can go on benefits instead of returning to work?

[UniversalCreditOrNo]

NC for this.

Let me start off by saying this....up until
February last year, I have never not been in work. I got my first job at 13, was working full time and living alone at age 21 (before which I worked 25 hours a week alongside my studies) and it was only last year when I decided to go travelling that I ever found myself without employment. I got pregnant at the end of my travels, and here is where I find myself.

My daughter is now 6 months old. In 3 months time, I’m supposed to go back to work. How do people afford to do it? Childcare is £56 a day where I am. On my current minimum wage job that’s a take home of around £30 a week....before tax and NI.

My partner is on around £20k and I can rely on family for 1 day a week childcare. So here’s my AIBU. Can I go on benefits, instead of going back to work? Is that a thing people can do?!

I don’t know how it works. My area is universal credit....is there even such a category for this? It’s not jobseekers as I wouldn’t be looking for work, and it’s not like I’m signed off with illness or disability.

My partner is convinced we can because he doesn’t earn a lot and ‘this is precisely what the benefits system is for’. However....his mum is a serial benefits user....everything from being a stay at home single mum until her youngest was 15, until now where she’s signed off for an injury from 3 years ago she still claims is affecting her work ability All I can think of is the stigma behind choosing to go on benefits, but right now I can’t see another option.

I dont think the OP is trying to pull a fast one on the government to live a lavish lifestyle on benefits.

OP if you want to be a SAHM then do so.

I know of other mums who didn't return to work as childcare costs meant they wouldn't see any of their wages. Wasn't worth taking the time away from the home.

I don't know much about the benefit system but you would only get what you're entitled to. Might be pretty small if anything. If you would be essentially working for nothing anyway then it wouldn't make much of a difference & you'd be able to spend time at home.

Jesus what is wrong with wanting to be with your child the first few years

Absolutely nothing wrong with that. Mother's have been stay at home mums for centuries. They don't expect the government to fund them to stay at home though. That's the difference.

I've gone back part time 25 hours, so 5 afternoons a week and I bring home around £500 after childcare with tax free helping out. I don't understand how you nursery is so much. Fully agree with you saying it's not worth having someone else taking care of your child for £30 a week profit. I'd feel the same, but I have the luxury of DPs wage to pay for everything should I choose not to work. I purely work for me, and the extra money is helpful and makes things easier. Hope you manage to find a solution OP. It is so hard trying to find something that fits around little ones and makes a profit. Definitely echo PPs saying look for cheaper childcare if you can.

The benefits system is not to enable laziness of your ilk
I don’t think she sounds lazy. I think she’s got the right idea. You’d have to be daft to work full time for $30, and hardly see your baby, when there’s a legal alternative.
I read the nightmare threads on here of two parents working long hours with children and/or babies and it sounds like hell. Who benefits? It’s crazy. Just to keep the right wing Mumsnetters happy? No thanks.

There were 755,000 babies born last year in the UK. Let's pretend there are 700,000 mothers returning to work as some will have been multiple births.
The average earnings is about £22K so your husband is on the average, plus or minus a little.
As only 54% adults pay income tax (I.e. earn less than 12,500 in income, investments or pension), then you can see that we need everyone to work who is able to so we can take care of the very needy: the old, sick and disabled.
We can't afford to add 700,000 mothers to the social bill per year because they choose not to have anyone else mind their child. However if those 700K mothers make their own arrangements - rely on others like a spouse or family - that doesn't add to the social bill, then they are entitled to do exactly that.

That's not right wing, that's pure budgeting.

Too many women of low wages think "Once I've paid the nursery, I only have three quid left..." when their PARTNER is also responsible for the fees and upkeep of the child.

^ This. You're thinking about it all wrong.

Anyway, in your MIL's day, the benefits system was different and lots of people were better off on benefits. AFAIK, Universal Credit is designed to rectify this and it should mean that you're always better off working. There is also an age limit (re children's age) to encourage parents back to work so I doubt you'd be allowed to claim benefits and stay at home long-term (with a non-disabled child) anyway.

If you're not keen on nurseries, I'd look into work you can do from home or during nights when your OH is home.

Never feel bad about claiming what the law entitles you to. But it probably won't be much if you're living with a partner in full time work.

If you want to be a SAHP then your partner needs to earn enough to support you and your DC. Simple.
Turning to benefits because you can’t stand the thought of leaving DC in nursery is a piss take.
Look into cheaper childcare arrangements, get part time/evening/weekend work.
Your partner is wrong. This is not what ‘Benefits are precisely for’. They are not a lifestyle choice. Despite the kind of family he clearly grew up in, judging by your description of his DM.
You’ll probably find you aren’t entitled to much anyway.

If you are just going to work to pay a daycare for your child then I wouldnt be working. Try a stay at home job maybe? Any family that could help out with more than one day a week? You do what's best for you and your family. Ignore the haters.

just don't want to leave my little girl with a total stranger all day and then be almost entirely out of pocket for the privilege. It seems so wrong

This is the reality for most of us.

Get a job claim tax credits/ UC towards childcare. You will be MUCH better off working than being a dole bludger and you will be setting a great example for your children, giving them aspirations.

@transformandriseup please could you pm me ref matched betting? Been interested for yonks but I couldn’t work out how to start. I have a disability which affects my cognition but really need to make some extra dollar for the next few months. Thank you x

I doubt you’re still reading this this OP.

But my advice to you would be to request to go back 3 days a week.

Use family for one day childcare, you will get tax free childcare so that brings the cost to £44.80 per day- many childminders also offer this scheme so that will be even cheaper.

It’s only for a few years until you get your free 15 hours. Plus you will get child benefit.

I can understand why you wouldn’t want to go back full time. Honestly- it’s all very well saying you’re setting an example and so on. But the reality is that you will miss a lot of your child’s early years.

I don’t know many people who can afford to be SAHM’s these days- it is a privilege and I would have loved to say at home with DD. Equally, at 16 months things have settled now, I am enjoying working part time and DD is learning so much at nursery. When at first the thought of leaving made me physically ill.

Good luck. I’m sure you’ll find a solution that works for your family.

If you're working even if you only take home 30 a week after cost of childcare, you don't have that big gap in your CV and hopefully you're upskilling or at the very least staying current with technology etc.

Relocation could be an option, unless there are strong reasons/ties not to, with OP saying childcare in the area is not that great for the cost, and they are second highest area for council tax.

"Too many women of low wages think "Once I've paid the nursery, I only have three quid left..." when their PARTNER is also responsible for the fees and upkeep of the child."

Well maybe it would be better for op to phrase it as 'our family will only be £30pw better off' but the upshot is the same : an amount almost equal to her salary is eaten up by childcare and makes full time work look a lot less lucrative than it should.

However, I do agree with pp op. £30pw is still £120-£150pm in the family pot and wages and opportunities tend to increase over time.

Would you consider a childminder, because that would be cheaper than a nursery? Are you eligible for tax free childcare, which would reduce the costs? Would part time work be more cost effective, or is evening/weekend work a realistic option instead?

If you decide to manage on your dh's salary (about £1400 net?) you wouldn't be entitled to much in the way of benefits anyway, but it might be doable short term until dc is eligible for some free childcare hours and you could reconsider working.

It goes without saying that many of these posts are horrific, especially the early ones, and unfortunately by the time a tiny bit of sanity had crept in amongst the twisted hate, the OP had already left. But there is another way of looking at this: the venom spewing haters are simply completely ignorant and should be pitied for that as much as for their shrieky, pearl-clutching spite. Because you see, even if you didn't take into account the salient fact that the OP has paid into the system from which the benefits are paid, it remains common knowledge to anyone with half a brain that the DWP are not in the habit of generously throwing money at folk if they can avoid it. So if via an honest benefit application stating all the facts, THEY decide you ARE entitled to any amount of UC/tax credits (and someone above calculated £160?), then absolutely you take it, stay home and look after your little one and thank your lucky stars you're not a brainless, heartless twat. Stay strong lovely.

How I made it work was:

1. planned my pregnancy so I was in an NHS job with a decent maternity pay so took a year off.
2. DH got a job in the evenings but looked after the baby during the day and I went back to work.

It was basically hard but we worked around it. If you get a decent job (you have a degree so why not?) you can also qualify for salary sacrifice to reduce nursery costs. Have you looked into that?

It is rather late in the day to be thinking of this problem although it is not as though thinking about it earlier would have made childcare cheaper or put you off having a baby. When I paid for childcare the idea was that you kept working to keep the job open and so you did not fall behind in the employment stakes. I had eight years where a lot of my salary went on childcare for two DC before they started pre school nurseries. I took the cheaper option of a childminder who was worth every penny.

I have never seen a single word anywhere that says having children is cheap. A cat costs £17,000 over its life and a dog £35,000. Children are not going to be less expensive.

The benefits system is not for those who decide not to work but for those who, through no fault of their own, cannot. It will be far better for your DC to have an independent, working mother, albeit a little poorer financially for a while. Of course, it means that the DP will have to share his £20,000 and pay his half of the childcare and half of all the other bills and expenses.

You say Mumsnet is harsh but how harsh is it to have pointed out that some women are having to work post birth (paying childcare bills too) to pay taxes to keep others who will not work? Surely that is just the truth?

If you do not work your pensions (state and private) are affected and you do not keep up with promotion prospects. It is all pretty tough but when you look at your DC you will realise that a temporary blip is worth it in the long run.

Doesn't earn a lot? 20k? He's earning a few grand more than our single income family of 5.
You won't be eligible for UC.

Hi,
Sorry don't have time to read whole thread, so others may have said this.
It's worth looking into universal credit. While you probably won't get much in living expenses you may well get help with the childcare.
There is also tax free childcare that lets you save into a special account . Your money is topped up by the government by 20% and you pay childcare out of that . Up to £2000 a year.
Working part time and on opposite shifts from your partner can work well - my ex and I used to one day a week he finished slightly early and I did a late shift.
I worked more Sundays as he was off then.
Now single mum so mixture of childminder and mum during week and other family and friends during weekend as well as altering my work pattern ( now work 22 hours a week instead of 30 for children reasons).
Good luck.

The other option might be to train as a childminder yourself ?
Look after 2 more then you will be paid and at home with your child .

Ah he’s, the OP’s judgement of the single mum ‘serial benefit user’ but the fact she is prepared to do the same herself - not work and be better off on benefits - isn’t seen as the same thing.

Usual single mum, depressing shite, then. Sigh.

I always thought benefits was a temporary fix and not a longer term solution

People absolutely should not say that op isn't entitled to UC. Entitlement is calculated on lots of factors like rent, age, childrens age, disability etc. Just because one person isn't entitled dos not mean someone else won't be.

Surely it is a temporary fix if just taking a year or so off with a young child after paying into the system for years on end. FFS.