To think I can go on benefits instead of returning to work?

[UniversalCreditOrNo]

NC for this.

Let me start off by saying this....up until
February last year, I have never not been in work. I got my first job at 13, was working full time and living alone at age 21 (before which I worked 25 hours a week alongside my studies) and it was only last year when I decided to go travelling that I ever found myself without employment. I got pregnant at the end of my travels, and here is where I find myself.

My daughter is now 6 months old. In 3 months time, I’m supposed to go back to work. How do people afford to do it? Childcare is £56 a day where I am. On my current minimum wage job that’s a take home of around £30 a week....before tax and NI.

My partner is on around £20k and I can rely on family for 1 day a week childcare. So here’s my AIBU. Can I go on benefits, instead of going back to work? Is that a thing people can do?!

I don’t know how it works. My area is universal credit....is there even such a category for this? It’s not jobseekers as I wouldn’t be looking for work, and it’s not like I’m signed off with illness or disability.

My partner is convinced we can because he doesn’t earn a lot and ‘this is precisely what the benefits system is for’. However....his mum is a serial benefits user....everything from being a stay at home single mum until her youngest was 15, until now where she’s signed off for an injury from 3 years ago she still claims is affecting her work ability All I can think of is the stigma behind choosing to go on benefits, but right now I can’t see another option.

miss

That is my belief and I didn't need any qualification or qualification of others to come to that belief.

Bumblebee you do kind of need to explain the reasoning behind your belief, if you think it is worthy of sharing with us and might help the OP.
In many cases people with young children do successfully work and the children gain a lot from their experience with alternative care givers.
What's your agenda in denying this?
What benefits can the OP claim in her scenario?
I don't think you have done a lot of thinking around your post. Are you justifying your own decision to yourself? Great, if so, but it won't work for all and probably not even a majority of women. Posts like yours make me so cross. There are quite a few threads running at the moment about women who are finding it really hard to get back into the workforce after a few years break.

Unfortunately £20k a year is classed as a good salary and you won't be entitled to very much at all from the state.

Of course you’re entitled to belief whatever you want @8BumbleBee8. What you can’t extrapolate from that is any generalisation that it’s ‘best’ for children to not have WOHP (or rather WOHM !)
Hundreds of thousands of us have been WOHP and our children have grown into happy well adjusted adults. (Which is possibly what people who have an issue with WOHM feel threatened by... that our children are just as happy, successful and emotionally adjusted as children of SAHM)

I do not believe that hundreds and thousands of mothers leave their children in daycare before the age of two.

I do not believe that hundreds and thousands of mothers leave their children in daycare before the age of two.

You don't have to believe it, Google it. In countries like Holland pretty much all kids go to nursery from 3 months onwards - they only get 3 months maternity leave and nurseries are all funded.

Also, why does it have to be mums that are out of work for 2+ years? What about dads?

@Bumblebee well those of us having kids in the late 80s/early90s were back at work when our babies were 3 months old. Very normal back then. Kids all grown now

Well if you guys think it's ok to send 3 month olds to day care when you don't have to then that's fine with me. You are entitled to your belief, it does not harm me.

Repeating my solution - once again - for everyone saying I won't get anything, and other people still leaving nasty comments.

Hopefully this helps any other mums out there in my predicament to pluck up the courage to get to a job centre and look at what you're entitled to.

I will be returning to work...two days a week. My SIL will look after her one day, and a child minder on the other (cheaper than a nursery, thank you all for the suggestion.)

After going to a job centre I had a chat with a lovely lady who did some calculations and told me what I was entitled to....a fair amount which will be enough to bring my wages up to what I'm basically on now with maternity pay. Not a lot, but enough to not starve and to be able to pay the rent.

If anyone is reading this in the same predicament and unsure what to do...please do pop down to job centre. Everyone's individual circumstances will always come in to play, but if you don't ask you don't get. You never know what you're entitled to, and the lady I spoke to was very understanding and open about the fact that this is what a lot of mothers are doing this days. Absolutely nothing to be ashamed of and I'm absolutely ecstatic that I can now stay home with my little girl 5 days a week, until I can hopefully return to work fully in a year or so.

I worked after mat leave and my wages went on child care. It was important that i remained in the job market as getting a job after severla years out is very hard in your 40s.

I'm not saying this is right. But, there is no reason OP could not get a job that is different hours to her DP and not rely on benefits and also not have to rely on child care at all - many people do this as PPs have shown. This is a lifestyle choice for OP.

OP - you talk of this previous £35K job - surely you should have saved some of this money for your future child rather than rely on the state... ?

If you've gone from £35K to no job then it must have been extra cash in the household...

BB- it's just because you make your belief sound like fact, when it's absolutely not. Going back to work, or staying at home are equally valid choices; it has to be what is best for the family. But children who go into childcare are fine, same as children who stay at home with their mums are fine. We are about £1k better off for me going back to work 3 days a week, if this wasn't the case I would stay at home probably, but luckily DS has a great time at his CMs and they do plenty of things he wouldn't do here, and gets to spend time with other babies.

Today 17:13 8BumbleBee8

Well if you guys think it's ok to send 3 month olds to day care when you don't have to then that's fine with me. You are entitled to your belief, it does not harm me.

Why wouldn’t it be ok if those children are well cared for and nurtured and grow up into happy well adjusted adults?

I don't blame you, I never left mine in childcare either. You should have a look at supermarket work, tesco pay 8.80 an hour, sainsburys pay 9.20, they give you set shifts and you'd apply for a job that had shifts that worked around your partner. Even 12 hours a week would help you out. I think you'd get tax credits as well.

It's tight but doable.

@8BumbleBee8

If you're going to state your opinion as fact than you need to be able to reason for it. You simply believe that a child being permanently with mother is best because it's what you did.

@universalcreditorno
That sounds like a good plan. My little one goes to a childminders for 2 days a week and he loves it, he has so much fun and it's a real 'home from home' environment and why I chose one over a nursery.
Don't feel guilty for claiming top ups (which you are entitled to!) for the couple of years until your child is eligible for free childcare hours. Whilst I think relying on benefits entirely wouldn't be a good idea, this isn't the case, and it's not your fault the cost of living has risen so much faster than wages under this current government.

So depressing the number of people who assume childcare is solely the responsibility of 'mums' and the state and give up earning potential and pension contributions to enable their unmarried partner to carry on unabated and become financially dependent on him. Hundreds of threads on here from women who have financially fucked themselves doing this.

I think you'd get tax credits as well.

Tax credits are long gone for new claimants.

No miss, it is best because the mother is the foundation of a child, and that is just nature which you will find through all kingdom of the living with animals humans and spirits.

regina

bumble there are many perfectly valid reasons to be a sahp. Your uninformed belief that childcare is wrong isn't one of them. Nor is some half baked shite about the foundation of a child and spirits, or your ignorance of the animal kingdom.

Be glad you have a £20k income to live on im on UC at the moment and it isn't some fairytale solution to your problems or a handout to fund your lifestyle choices. Its for people like me and many other's who live hand to mouth month in month out on a measly sum of money. It doesn't matter that you've worked constantly your whole life that's not how benefits work you know. Get a night job and work shifts with your DP so one of you has the baby while the other works god knows i wish i had that luxury and 1 day a week free childcare ? Wow lucky you

I dont work my ass offand pay taxes to fund your choice to stay at home. I changed my job when I had my DC, I paid a huge chunk of my salary towards childcare 3 days a week. I flexed and worked evenings, nights and weekends to make it all work and to spend loads of time w her. My partner worked abroad Mon-Thurs each week. We made it work. It was incredibly hard, but kept me on the employment market. My kid (girl) also saw and knows that women can make their own careers and sees me as a role model. DD is now 10 and thriving, ambitious, kind, loving & confident.
Had I stayed home, that would have been fine too. It’s a choice and ours would then have been to make it work on DH’s salary. No fucking way would I have expected society to pick up the tab for it.

Pull up your big girl pants/grow a pair. Others need the benefit system for legitimate reasons, and you’d be eroding/exploiting it with your “plan”.

Feck off @8bumblebee8 - that’s all 7 kinds of nuts! Stay home by all means - that is your choice. Choose what works for you. But it’s not the be all and end all to child rearing. And no foooking way should others foot the bill for it.

@8BumbleBee8 is being ironic.... I hope!

accio exchange the first 'i' for 'mo' and you've got it

Thanks for letting us know the outcome Op and that sounds like a good solution for you! I have twins and we haven’t been able to afford child care, currently work part time nights, after looking after them all day which is exhausting but you have to do what you have to do! I’m glad you’ve worked things out.

Have a look on the calculator online I think it's something called entitledto x