To think I can go on benefits instead of returning to work?

[UniversalCreditOrNo]

NC for this.

Let me start off by saying this....up until
February last year, I have never not been in work. I got my first job at 13, was working full time and living alone at age 21 (before which I worked 25 hours a week alongside my studies) and it was only last year when I decided to go travelling that I ever found myself without employment. I got pregnant at the end of my travels, and here is where I find myself.

My daughter is now 6 months old. In 3 months time, I’m supposed to go back to work. How do people afford to do it? Childcare is £56 a day where I am. On my current minimum wage job that’s a take home of around £30 a week....before tax and NI.

My partner is on around £20k and I can rely on family for 1 day a week childcare. So here’s my AIBU. Can I go on benefits, instead of going back to work? Is that a thing people can do?!

I don’t know how it works. My area is universal credit....is there even such a category for this? It’s not jobseekers as I wouldn’t be looking for work, and it’s not like I’m signed off with illness or disability.

My partner is convinced we can because he doesn’t earn a lot and ‘this is precisely what the benefits system is for’. However....his mum is a serial benefits user....everything from being a stay at home single mum until her youngest was 15, until now where she’s signed off for an injury from 3 years ago she still claims is affecting her work ability All I can think of is the stigma behind choosing to go on benefits, but right now I can’t see another option.

Welcome to 2019, where a mother who wants to stay at home with her children is dragged over the coals. Unbelievable.

Staying at home with your children is fine. Expecting money off the government for doing so is not.

I think being a sahm is absolutely equal to being a working parent

You aren’t ‘sitting around’ all day doing nothing you are looking after your child.
You Will get child benefit and may get a small amount of UC but it won’t be much.
If you decide to do this then you may have to make cuts in your spending elsewhere but with only 1 child it should be relatively easy.

I’m not sure why your getting a hard time OP. Yes you can claim benefits while your partner is working. In fact we had the same issue when it came for me to return to work.

Childcare costs meant I would be £50 a month better off working then being at home with DS. My partner earns about the same amount as yours. We applied for UC which was pretty straightforward. This was after my mat leave came to an end and I wasn't earning any allowances. We receive just under £800PCM from UC and the rest of my Partners salary. It is tight but at least I get to spend these early years with my son. Why don’t you apply for UC once your not receiving an income and see how much you receive?

If people feel triggered by others making different decisions, then maybe you haven't made the right decisions for yourself. Nobody has to do anything. Wouldn't we rather life in a society where mothers work because they want to, rather than need to? Or where mothers stay at home because they want to rather that because they can't afford or justify childcare costs?

The amount of money OP will get for being at home 'sitting on her ass'/bringing up her child (glad that women's work is holding its value) is fuck all. But it's maybe enough for her to have a choice. Is that not a good thing?

Plenty of people suggested working part time, that wasn't your original question so not sure why you're acting so righteous about it. Maybe you'll have some empathy for those you deem playing the system, when they're probably doing what they can like you are.

@fedup21 Why not? Why shouldn't she be supported (in a very minimal way) to be at home to raise her child. Why is that choice only available to those with husbands who earn a lot of money? Why is being a SAHM seen as a cop out or easy?

Chipsychopsy- I think it’s more the case that when anyone comes out with the nasty line ‘leaving child with strangers’ they’re showing themselves to be horribly judgemental and totally lacking in empathy for any parent who uses childcare, through choice or not

I haven't RTFT, just the first two pages.
For paying for childcare, it's a joint expense, so don't see all of it as coming out of your wage.
Apply for tax free childcare, it's not loads but the top up is really helpful. Look and see whether you can go part-time with later hours or some weekend work. Look at childminders, ours is only marginally cheaper than nurseries (not why I went for one anyway) but we only pay for the hours our DC is in, rather than the full day, so 8-3 rather than 8-6 for example.

Check whether you might be eligible for the UC childcare element which can pay for up to 85% of childcare costs. You won't be eligible for anywhere near that, but with my DH on £20k and me working part-time we only narrowly miss out on it, and because my hourly wage is very good compared to my childcare costs.

Otherwise, if you want to stay at home for a couple of years until she's 3, by all means do that but other than child benefit I don't think you'd be entitled to anything more. However, we can survive on my husbands £20k if needed (and have done) so it's doable.

You have to think about it in the long term too. Having a minimum wage job now would hopefully mean that your future earning potential will increase. Going on benefits will not help your career/Cv, is not a good long term solution and it doesn’t sound like you even qualify. Why don’t you look for a childminder which is lots cheaper than nursery? Maybe start working 3 days a week (1 covered by family) or work evenings/weekends and your DP can look after DC?

Good on you OP.

I’m very confused as how a baby/toddler would be better off in childcare so mum can earn an extra £30 a week. I’m genuinely lost at some of these posts. This was mentioned frequently throughout this thread. I can understand how it might be nice modelling for older children but honestly what benefit for a baby?! Surely a baby would be better off with a parent in these circumstances.

And if it’s in regards to gaps in the CV surely the OP is aware and is willing to take that risk. Some
People are somewhat quite angry and are projecting somewhat towards the OP.

@Samplesss yes...you're correct. Plenty of people suggested it...and I listened to their advice. Is that not what these boards are for? Help and advice? Or are they for dragging each other down and making everyone and anyone feel totally and utterly shit and like they're not fit to be a mother or attempt to raise their own children?

No? Do I have that wrong?

@UniversalCreditOrNo how much is your maternity allowance currently, because if you are currently making ends meet with that amount - then that is the amount you need to earn.

If your family can have DD one day a week and then you do evening/ weekend work - would that bring in enough?

Broke my own rule and read some responses. I'm done.

Mumsnet is vile.

The longer you leave it to get back into work the harder it will be for you in the long run.

Your skills and training will be out of date.

You also need to think about your pension.

Bad idea all round. Either get a better job or cheaper childcare

MN isn't that vile.

Expecting taxpayers to fund your lifestyle choices is, especially when you don't have a disability and have a partner in full-time employment.

Got to love mumsnet, someone puts on saying how they know someone who gets lots of benefits doesn't work and it's wrong then said person Is told off for benefit bashing, whereas you who's worked all your life is been given a hard time.

Lovesgood
Jesus what is wrong with wanting to be with your child the first few years!?

Absolutely nothing but don't expect other people to work to pay for you to remain at home.

Yanbu OP. I was on universal credit after having my first child. The Job centre didnt expect me to look for work until they were 3.

I got a job when he was 18 months cause something came up which was flexible, i worked opposite shifts to DP and relied on family for childcare though.

But my DPs income was less than what yours is. We were entitiled to it so why not?

Only on mumsnet. The op judges a single parent for not working, but posters doing the same to her are being vile even though there is less justification for a couple to need a sahp

And fwiw, most people are net takers even if they never claim benefits. Just as well every higher rate taxpayer doesn't object to leaving their dc or op and everyone else with the same opinion would be a bit fucked.

@TrainspottingWelsh Exactly this!!!!

Just read your thread OP. Whilst i understand how people are raging at your post, i also see how you dont see any other option BUT the reason why so many people are raging is because you have your DPs wages. I claim benefits and no.. i dont sit on my arse all day AT ALL.. im on my own with my baby and she is too young to qualify for free childcare so at the moment i am working part time minimum wage and also claiming universal credit. My family mind my baby whilst i work and then i pay my rent with my wages/UC. I had no other option whilst i wait until my DD turns 2. If i worked FT and paid childminder i would be minus within my finances and unable to keep a roof over our heads so i had to. But i work and i HATE claiming UC but i have no other option as my family can't provide childcare for anymore days and private childcare is the near enough the same amount as what i earn. You need to work OP, sorry. And trust me i am not being harsh, its reality. If i could, i would. And there is a backstory to why i am a single parent and i didn't just get pregnanr knowing i would be ib this situation. Find a full time job, that will pay for childcare and even if you are only bringing home £50 per week it is a bonus. I wish i was in your financial position.

Sorry ignore my typos! Cracked phone screen

But wouldnt taxpayers also be funding her lifestyle if she claimed help with childcare expenses .....?

@EmploymentIssues Ah maybe, i hadn't even thought of that !But atleast she is working to pay tax to help fund free childcare places like her DC? I dont't know.