POLL.. To ask you if you'd tell your DH/DP, if you came into £5,000 (eg, lotto win/inheritance.)

[LavendarGreen]

Just that really?

If you won £5,000 on a scratchcard or the lottery, or had an inheritance, would you keep it from your DH/DP, and squirrel it away?

OR would you let them know?

YANBU - NO I wouldn't tell them, I would keep it to myself that I had got the money..

YABU - YES I'd tell them.

Just curious, as it was a conversation I had with some friends earlier today......

If you WOULDN'T tell them, please can you say why.... Also, if you don't intend to tell them, what would you do with the money?

Just curious.

Thanks all

Frankly, if you don't trust your husband and don't see eye-to-eye on something as important as family finances, why are you still married to him?! It would never occur to me not to tell dh - not because I'd feel I had to, but because I have no earthly reason not to!

Every woman (no, every person!) ought to have a secret stash / account.
But still... I don't see why I wouldn't tell DH.

You could keep a few thousand in your own savings account and still support the home financially.

It really does depend on what the partner is like. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have a happy, egalitarian partnership and it's not always easy to get out of, especially if you have children and/or no money.

Every woman (no, every person!) ought to have a secret stash / account.

Why does it need to be secret? Why not just a personal savings account? Or a credit card with a big limit you can use to get away if you need yo?

To an extent this is obviously a holdover from when husbands worked and wifes stayed at home. Being able have money you yourself have total control over was (understandably) important.

Nowadays? Various reasons why that might still be a good idea imo.
A friend of mine had a partner that developed a gambling addiction. And a DP may also reveal him/herself to be not so dear.... (even a small amount of money may make a difference in that case.)
Or you may want to buy your DH an extensive present without having a transaction in your credit card bill.

It may seem abnormal but my siblings and I were raised to have a go bag and money (including us dollars) at home.
I guess that was some sort of holdover from more turbulent times... 🤷🏻‍♀️

Why does it need to be secret?

Exactly. I have a personal savings account, so does DH. They’re not secret. Neither can access the others. So we can both run away if we want to!

Funnily enough you have picked a figure that is pretty close to my cut off. I would keep £5k (though would spend some of it on him/us) but if I got more I would fess up. Though I might keep the first £5k for myself...

It isn’t about keeping it, it’s about telling your partner you got it.

I wouldn't. Firstly we don't live together but I also know he'd expect to take his foot off the pedal a bit (self employed). 5k I think he'd be happy for me and not expect any. A million? I'd keep my gob shut but I would pay off some of his debts (somehow without telling him I'm a millionaire )

Yes I would tell, but it wouldn't mean I'd give him a share 😂 we both lucky to earn good money, and not having extravagant lifestyle in general, but I'd splurge some of the money on a handbag or all of it on a great holiday 😎 (I'd take DP with me on a holiday of course)

I don’t live with my DP so not the same as many others
He is terrible with money
I wouldn’t tell him
Might treat myself to something - pay a few bills and as I’m a big softie I would pay for a holiday for us both (which I do sometimes anyway as he rarely has enough savings)