I've lived in this house for a few years now. Since day one, a cat has been hanging around. It looks healthy and well fed, clearly not a stray, but it has taken a shine to me and the house.
When I run the kitchen tap, it comes running because it hears I'm in the kitchen. When I go to the loo, it sits underneath the window shouting as it can hear I'm in there. When I turn on the light in the living room, it sits on the windowsill meowing. When I come home or go out, it's on my doorstep trying to push past me and get in.
I do not like cats. This particular one is doing my head in with its stalkerish behaviour and its constant shouting. I have tried citrus, anti cat pellets, those sprays that cats supposedly hate - doesn't work. I have used a water pistol to no avail. I have sworn at it in multiple languages - nothing.
Sometimes I need to go out but I can't be bothered pushing past this cat again. Sometimes I don't turn the light on because I can't face the shouting, or I hold my pee because I don't want it to know where I am. It feels like a blimming hostage situation.
I'm going to have to move aren't I?