WIBU to move house because of this cat?

[thechancellor]

I've lived in this house for a few years now. Since day one, a cat has been hanging around. It looks healthy and well fed, clearly not a stray, but it has taken a shine to me and the house.
When I run the kitchen tap, it comes running because it hears I'm in the kitchen. When I go to the loo, it sits underneath the window shouting as it can hear I'm in there. When I turn on the light in the living room, it sits on the windowsill meowing. When I come home or go out, it's on my doorstep trying to push past me and get in.
I do not like cats. This particular one is doing my head in with its stalkerish behaviour and its constant shouting. I have tried citrus, anti cat pellets, those sprays that cats supposedly hate - doesn't work. I have used a water pistol to no avail. I have sworn at it in multiple languages - nothing.
Sometimes I need to go out but I can't be bothered pushing past this cat again. Sometimes I don't turn the light on because I can't face the shouting, or I hold my pee because I don't want it to know where I am. It feels like a blimming hostage situation.
I'm going to have to move aren't I?

the simple solution is make a paper collar with your phone number on it and a message asking an owner to ring you if the cat is thiers put it on the cat and if no one rings you you will know the cat is a stray and you can ring a rescue to put him or her on their list to go into rescue, if an owner rings up you will know he is owned and you can just ignore him

This always strikes me as a flawed method. What if the collar comes off before they get home?

Did it belong to the last people who lived in your house? Have they moved and left it behind

I'm allergic to cats. My mums cat is very anti social but comes over and shoves her arse in my face every fucking time. If I touched her I would sneezing, wheezing and streaming for hours. She does it to my SIL as well who is also allergic to cats.

Start picking it up and cuddling it if you aren't allergic. It will fall out with you then.

Lol

Have you tried teabags? I've heard that works, apparently it has something to do with water flowing uphill

Teabags do work! But you have to drop them directly on the head of the cat

You need to do some unfriendly cat body language at it.
Chances are you are unwittingly giving off the wrong signals.
Keep your eyes open widely and stare at it through the glass. It might work or you might just look bonkers.
Closing your eyes slightly (which is a natural bit of human behaviour in response to something you don't like) reads as a very friendly gesture to a cat.
If you don't believe me, try it. When you greet a friendly cat, lift your chin slightly, narrow your eyes (if they like you, they do it back to you) then look away so you don't appear threatening. Cat will mirror your behaviour.
An unfriendly cat will (to another cat) keep their eyes very open and stare directly at them.

Does the cat resemble this one? Don't worry, if the cat is anything like others I've known, they will desert you as soon as they find an alternative servant!

I thought I didn’t like cats, until I got two at DH’s insistence. I was wrong, I absolutely adore them and would love your situation if I didn’t already have two.

As PPs have said, the cat has chosen you, so embrace it (perhaps not literally)!

Has anyone else got the cat ad pop up in right hand column (I'm on a laptop) ... v.apt!

Also, which of these two is it?

I'm going to try the body language, it has worked for me with seagulls before

My next door neighbour’s cat is a bit stalky, my son’s fault tho he bought it some treats. Now every time he sees me he thinks he’s getting a treat.
Left me a dead bird in the doorstep yesterday.

Oh, it's neither overtly threatening nor cute...it's posh. Sometimes it almost forgets that it's a crazy stalker and does its signature Waitrosey 'Me-owh?' but then it gets a grip again and goes back to RRAAARGH.

You don't like cats! YABVVU!

So this one then:

m.youtube.com/watch?v=8YWaPYaXCdI

our bengal is the only cat we've had that says thankyou when we feed or water him :D (he can't stop yelling long enough to eat and/or drink)

Close, but louder!

Can't you like, run it over? Cats are in the same catagory as wasps to me. All deserve to be swatted. I'd be luring it into a trap and accidently forgetting to check said trap, for approx 100 years

I feel we need to see a picture!!

Can you spray water at it ?

I didn't like cats and they kept stalking me. Meet Ollie. I adopted him 4 years ago

Upgrade your water pistol to a bucket. It'll only take one hit, that's what we did!

The one friend who doesn’t like kittens is the only person the kittens both climbed up on from floor scaled her legs. All the kitten lovers they ignore.