Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be saying no every day

84 replies

Thetirednessisreal · 30/10/2019 09:16

35 weeks pregnant with twins I am huge.

DP is making me feel really bad as we haven’t had sex in three weeks. He wanted To last night but I was too tired and sore so he got another form of relief from me...

I finished work last week this week DS 6 is off school so 630am wake up calls. I’m apparently getting a lie in now as DP is up playing fifa yet DS is in bed with me playing with his cars. I could cry with the pain in my back but DP says he ha gave me too many back massages this pregnancy so no more...he has already started this morning about having sex tonight but I already know I don’t want too he is saying it’ll help move the babies along as he is fed up with this pregnancy!

I am going to say no again but he is making me feel so guilty about it there’s no point talking to him as he just thinks I’m a drama queen. Is no sex from this stage normal?!

OP posts:
Waxonwaxoff0 · 30/10/2019 09:19

He's being selfish, you're heavily pregnant! YANBU

ExitLightEnterNight · 30/10/2019 09:21

"No, and if you keep pestering me you'll never get any sex from me ever again. Leave me the fuck alone!" are the words that would be coming from my mouth. I wouldn't even have given him all hand/blow job; he's capable of sorting himself out. You don't owe him sex.

Hotseat · 30/10/2019 09:22

WTF. Is this real? You already know the answer. Whack that immature sob where it hurts, repeatedly. Then ask if he wants sex.

RedSheep73 · 30/10/2019 09:25

I'd be saying more than no, there would be swearing involved. He's being a dick. Tell him you'll let him know when you are ready. That could be a long wait, though...

Allinadaystwerk · 30/10/2019 09:25

What hotseat said. 100%

Freddiefox · 30/10/2019 09:30

There’s so much wrong with his attitude it’s hard to know where to start, but no yanbu to say no, no one is ever wrong to say no to sex.
He is clearly a very selfish man and this is a wider problem on the relationship.

Celebelly · 30/10/2019 09:31

Urgh. Nothing more unattractive than a whiny sex pest. I hope he has some good qualities as he sounds like an inconsiderate nob. You're carrying two of his babies and he'd rather pester you for sex than give you a back rub? Gross

OldEvilOwl · 30/10/2019 09:33

Selfish prick

Celebelly · 30/10/2019 09:33

Actually I've just re-read it and he's even worse than I thought. He's bored of this pregnancy? He's up playing computer games instead of caring for his son? Why are you having kids with this idiot? Sad

MildDrPepperAddiction · 30/10/2019 09:38

Is he always this selfish? Poor you, I hope your back pain improves soon, along with the pain in your neck of a H.

TellMeWhoTheVilliansAre · 30/10/2019 09:42

He has given you "too many" back massages? Tell him you have given him too much sex and won't be giving him anymore.

35 weeks pregnant with twins... And HE is fed up with this pregnancy!!!!!

Diddums.

feelingsinister · 30/10/2019 09:45

My god, what a prick! I'm sorry OP but that's completely out of order. What was he life during your previous pregnancy? Is he a good partner/dad in other ways?

Every day on this forum I gives thanks that my partner is a fully formed adult who is sweet and considerate and not a whining selfish fucking man child.

BrutusMcDogface · 30/10/2019 09:46

Dear god. I also wouldn’t have been giving him any other “relief”. You poor thing. You are totally not being unreasonable. Flowers

AloeVeraLynn · 30/10/2019 09:46

He is disgusting.

Whatisthisfuckery · 30/10/2019 09:47

Wow, he sounds like a catch.

GreySheep · 30/10/2019 09:48

Seriously, is this how some people live?

I can’t believe any women thinks sex is a duty of being with a man!

If you don’t want to you don’t have to.

Doing it without wanting to is coercive rape.

You don’t have to have sex with him for the next year if you don’t want to FFS and that includes any other form of ‘relief’.

Ugh this is grim. Sorry OP but he’s hideous.

Original poster
Thetirednessisreal · 30/10/2019 09:48

I have found this pregnancy very hard and worked full time way beyond what I was advised because we can’t afford me to be off too long.

DS is not his so I don’t like to ask him to do too much unless he offers and he is usually very good with him but when anyone looks after DS for me I feel like I ‘owe’ them my ex used to make me feel like it was such a chore to do anything with his son so I think it stems from that.

This exhaustion and uncomfortableness is unreal though

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 30/10/2019 09:50

I'm 29 weeks with twins, and DH made a (genuine) joke about sex last night and I stared at my bare stomach and retorted "do you even think it'd reach". He laughed. That was the whole conversation on if we were having sex last night. It's been two weeks and I've done nowt else for him either. If he'd tried to coerceor bully me he'd be told to go shove it up his own ass.

Also point out that no one WANTS their babies to be born prematurely unless they need to, so he's also being a dick for that.

I'd tell him straight you doubt you'll be having sex this side of labour and for at least X weeks after so he needs to stop pestering you, and every time he's asks you'll add two days to it.

pinkyredrose · 30/10/2019 09:50

He's revolting. He needs to learn what pregnancy can do to the body, find some videos on you tube or something.

How is he with your 6yr old? He doesn't sound a great dad and he's a disgusting excuse of a partner.

pinkyredrose · 30/10/2019 09:52

Just read your latest post, looks like you've swapped one selfish cunt for another. Did he want the babies? Because he doesn't seem to give a shit about their mother.

EatDessertFirst · 30/10/2019 09:54

Urgh what a disgusting sex pest. Nothing like a good sulk to make your fanny dry up either. Its made a million times worse by the fact you are so heavily pregnant with his twins.
Stick to your guns and let him sort himself out. Revolting wanker.

paap1975 · 30/10/2019 09:56

He sounds charming... NOT. Does he have any good points?

IwantedtobeEmmaPeel · 30/10/2019 09:57

Honestly the rage I feel on your behalf, I'd like to hack his knob off with a rusty chainsaw. Tell him to do one.

GinAndTings · 30/10/2019 09:58

When I was pregnant with my twins I didn't have sex for the entire duration and for about 15 weeks after. I felt horrendous with sickness, SPD, bedbound and then in a wheelchair for the last few weeks as I was huge and couldnt walk!

Seeing me so uncomfortable was not a turn on for my DH. Sex was completely the last thing on the menu!

He sounds awful!

Having twins is really hard in the first few months I hope his attitude changes or you will probably be better off without him OP.

Good luck with the birth.
x

TreePeepingWatcher · 30/10/2019 09:58

TellMe beat me to it, as he won't give you another back massage, tell him you have given him too much sex during this pregnancy and any other form of physical relief which involves you.

He sounds like an arsehole, I hope he has lots of redeeming qualities that outweigh his teenage boy behaviour to sex. It is coercive if you don't want to have sex but do so to stop him sulking/ignoring you.

Swipe left for the next trending thread