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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be saying no every day

84 replies

Thetirednessisreal · 30/10/2019 09:16

35 weeks pregnant with twins I am huge.

DP is making me feel really bad as we haven’t had sex in three weeks. He wanted To last night but I was too tired and sore so he got another form of relief from me...

I finished work last week this week DS 6 is off school so 630am wake up calls. I’m apparently getting a lie in now as DP is up playing fifa yet DS is in bed with me playing with his cars. I could cry with the pain in my back but DP says he ha gave me too many back massages this pregnancy so no more...he has already started this morning about having sex tonight but I already know I don’t want too he is saying it’ll help move the babies along as he is fed up with this pregnancy!

I am going to say no again but he is making me feel so guilty about it there’s no point talking to him as he just thinks I’m a drama queen. Is no sex from this stage normal?!

OP posts:
00100001 · 30/10/2019 09:59

Next time you're not in the mood (i.e tonight) and he wants "relief" just respond with his own attitude "I have given you too many back massages wanks this pregnancy so no more."

littlepaddypaws · 30/10/2019 09:59

he's a disgusting piece of selfish shit. i'd be seriously reconsidering this relationship tbh and looking at the fact i might become a single mum within the next few months.
do you have any family / friends who could help you with ds and your twins when they arrive ?

Steenac7 · 30/10/2019 10:00

He sounds like a horrible person. I hurt my back badly and DH & I couldn’t have sex for 8 months. He never once even asked as he knew I was in pain. He made my dinner and cared for me instead. Men are not entitled to sex regardless of circumstances.

00100001 · 30/10/2019 10:01

"DS is not his so I don’t like to ask him to do too much unless he offers and he is usually very good with him "

it's a bit irrelevant whether DS is his or not. He has chosen to live with and make a family with you and him. He can't just "opt out" :/

he's the boys step-father for goodness sake, and is bringing half-siblings in to his life... he needs to step up.

Shoxfordian · 30/10/2019 10:02

He's disgusting
Why are you with him?
He's not entitled to your body.

I would honestly be kinder to a dog than he is to you.

Girlsmummy30 · 30/10/2019 10:04

39 weeks currently. Haven't had sex from around 34 weeks. Dh understands. Tell your partner to fuck off. Selfish git

ReanimatedSGB · 30/10/2019 10:06

It sounds like you have swapped one abusive, woman-hating prick for a different type of abusive, woman-hating prick. Was the last one physically violent, and is that what made you settle for a selfish, lazy manchild ie 'at least' he doesn't hit you?

RockinHippy · 30/10/2019 10:07

Ask him if he'd like to swallow a couple of pumpkins whole whilst you ram a broom handle up his selfish twunt arse

Of course YANBU

Palomasponcho · 30/10/2019 10:11

Well, he's quite a catch isn't he. Shame he's taken.

LonginesPrime · 30/10/2019 10:12

WTF? What an awful husband.

Thanks for you, OP - good luck with the twins...it sounds like you're going to need it, unfortunately.

CoolcoolcoolcoolcoolNoDoubt · 30/10/2019 10:14

Sorry, HE is fed up with this pregnancy? WTF! You poor love..

Beveren · 30/10/2019 10:15

He's fed up with the pregnancy? What does he imagine it's like for you? Does he think refusing to give you back massages will make the pain go away, or make the babies come out? If so, he needs to learn some basic biology.

You need to make it clear to him that he can forget sex for at least the next three months, he is not to pester for it again and if he does that will add a week to the no-sex period. If he's not mature enough to cope with that then he's not mature enough to be a parent.

Blingandrings · 30/10/2019 10:15

If I were you I wouldn't want to ever have sex with him again.

LannisterLion1 · 30/10/2019 10:15

He is bored with pregnancy? Him? What a twat, maybe he should spend the time getting everything ready? Cleaning everything, making sure food is in...

Personally I'd sit on his face (after all he wants sex) and smother him.

Sexnotgender · 30/10/2019 10:17

Why why why are you with this selfish man child?

He sounds utterly repulsive, honestly my vagina would be as dry as the Sahara if my partner behaved like that.

ThreeLittleDots · 30/10/2019 10:18

He's being revolting and cruel. He has no idea how to treat a woman. I couldn't put up with that myself!

BowiesJumper · 30/10/2019 10:20

Oh God, this makes me feel sick. I'm 30wks with a single pregnancy and am not feeling sexy... husband accepts that! God I'd be slinging him out in all honesty, what a prick.

Sittinginthepower · 30/10/2019 10:20

What a vile man. Why the heck did you was decide to have a baby with him? Surely he hasn't had a personality transplant since you became pregnant?

I'd be setting him straight about badgering you for sex now and until well after the babies are born. I'd also be setting expectations about helping out with the babies and telling him that if he isn't up to the job then he can sling his hook.

QueenWhatevs · 30/10/2019 10:20

There's something deeply wrong with a man that can orgasm thrusting away in a woman who he knows is in pain and not enjoying the sex.

WillLokireturn · 30/10/2019 10:21

He's a sex pest. He's not entitled to sex. AND you're 35 weeks pregnant with his twins fgs. Call him out in it. He's a misogynistic bully.

quincejamplease · 30/10/2019 10:22

Good grief, you've been trained to accept really shitty behaviour. This is not a normal way to live.

Www.freedomprogramme.co.uk

FFSFFSFFS · 30/10/2019 10:25

You are at all times for ANY reason entirely entitled to say NO to sex.

isitpossibleto · 30/10/2019 10:26

@QueenWhatevs - I couldn’t agree mire. There’s also an adjective for men like this: rapists. Because that’s what it is.

CatsOnCatnip · 30/10/2019 10:32

I didn’t want sex throughout my whole pregnancy let alone at 35 weeks! And I had the one.

What a cretinous bastard.

Mummyoflittledragon · 30/10/2019 10:33

I think I’d have to make the last time I had sex with him the last time I ever had sex with him. Vile specimen. So what if he isn’t your ds’s dad, you arse growing 2 humans... because (I hope) he said he’d like to be a dad. He’s a (step) dad right now. Looks like he doesn’t actually like it that much.

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