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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

New car & my neighbour... Ignore or say something?

252 replies

Greenleafer19 · 30/10/2019 09:13

Hi all
I know MN's love a neighbour post but I may get told to get over it about this one.....

So about 12 days ago I bought a new car and since then my neighbour, who I have a joint drive with but partitioned, can't seem to take his eyes off it.
Everytime he walks his dog, 3x a day he's coming onto my side of the drive and staring at the car, staring in the windows, circling it, stands next to it staring for ages etc.. I've been off work the past 2 weeks so the cars been parked on the drive alot and He's done this everytime he walks his dog, everyday since then. It was funny to watch on the cctv at first but I'm getting a tad concerned/ peed off with it.

This morning, having had it 12 days, I thought the fascination wouldve worn off, but no... He's now gone into the road to stand back and stare at it from a distance....

I've never had any kind of relationship with my neighbour, reason being my husband and I are always at work, keep ourselves to ourselves and apart from walking his dog the neighbour never goes out for us to see him. The very rare occasion we have seen him he tends to ignore us if we smile, wave or say hi but never thought anything of it.

Do I ignore it or say something on the cctv? He knows I have cctv but doesn't seem bothered that I'm watching. I don't want to be rude to an old man but it's now annoying me! (as pathetic as I sound!)

AIBU...??!

OP posts:
WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 31/10/2019 09:53

Maybe he's seen that terrible gameshow that Dale Winton hosted a decade or so ago featured on one of these 'Best of Bad TV' compilation shows and he thinks that, if he keeps touching it continuously without breaking contact, he'll win it.

You know those life-sized realistic dummies that some people have made up to sit in the passenger seat, for safety, to make it look to potential attackers that they're not alone and to get away with using multiple-occupant vehicle fast lanes - would it be possible to get one made up to exactly resemble him (but with an extra-long comedy nose) and then just leave it permanently sitting in one of the seats?

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 31/10/2019 09:59

Get one of those novelty 'fart detector' machines, place it under the car, hidden behind one of the wheels, and remotely activate it repeatedly whenever he goes near.

After a couple of minutes, go out and approach him with a face like Jimmy Nail licking vinegar off a wasp sitting on a nettle and say "Do you mind - I've already had to wash it three times this week already!"

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 31/10/2019 10:17

Strange man. I think I’d go with a neutrally worded note telling him you have a notification every time he approaches and touches the car. You can’t see any reason why he should do this and it needs to stop.

SalemsMumHasGotitGoingOn · 31/10/2019 10:56

I have too much free time so I'd probably print off a load of screenshots of him near the car and stick them to lampposts etc with "WARNING - PERVERT" written on them. Maybe even post some through his door. If he confronts you and says people have called the police on him just say "oooh I didn't realise it was you, to be honest I forgot you were still alive" and then walk off.

I also second the foghorn idea.

Original poster
Greenleafer19 · 31/10/2019 11:24

@LipstickTaserrr he actually looks like this minus the walking stick... And so does his dog...

New car & my neighbour... Ignore or say something?
OP posts:
Zipppyx · 31/10/2019 11:32

Seriously don't understand the logic behind people saying YABU...

YADNBU - but I don't have a suggestion for what you could really do about it other than hanging scary Halloween decorations inside for a while!?

Or alternatively you could mention that you saw someone looking at the car but you couldn't quite see who it was on the camera as it was unclear so wanted to warn your neighbour of potential car thieves in the area?

I've gotten a Ring Floodlight Cam for just this purpose - quite entertaining to see who's coming and going! Have already caught a potential intruder so 1-nil to the camera!

Best of luck, OP. x

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 31/10/2019 13:21

He’s looking for drugs Grin you criminal mastermind, you!

bananamonkey · 31/10/2019 13:49

Everybody does weird stuff in private don't they, if you didn't have CCTV you'd be none the wiser

But it’s not in private, it’s on OP’s driveway, every day. I’m surprised people would be fine with this, would it be ok if he was nosing in her house windows?

I had a similar neighbour years ago, she had nothing to do all day so would spy on all the neighbours and get really worked up about (perfectly normal, harmless) things we all did.

Simkin · 31/10/2019 16:04

It may be that people do look in my house windows but I haven't got cctv so I have no idea. I'm actually fine with what's happening because I don't know! Of course I wouldn't like it if I knew it was happening but I think people would be less likely to do it if I did.

The only reason he's not doing it in private is because the op has cctv that tells her about it. I'm sure if he knew about the cctv he would stop.

Which is a long winded way of saying tell him about the cctv. If he still doesn't stop that's a different challenge.

HuggedTrees · 31/10/2019 17:51

I would go out when you are home and smile and ask him “any questions?”. He wants you to catch him, he’s fucking bizarre.

Lincolnfield · 31/10/2019 18:12

Sorry but I think you and your neighbours all have too much time on your hands. You say you are busy out working? Me and DH are both incredibly busy. Don’t have any time to watch neighbours or gossip with any of them about other neighbours. Comments from your ‘nice’ neighbours just demonstrate they are anything but. You all sound pretty horrible to be honest.

Boysgrownbutstillathome · 31/10/2019 19:13

This is an opportunity to get to know your neighbour instead of keeping to yourselves. He might be lonely but obviously likes cars so why not talk to him about it. Say something like "Hi,I have noticed you admiring my car, are you a car enthusiast?" It might be the start of a lovely friendship.

SynchroSwimmer · 31/10/2019 19:18

I would just arrange to be in the passenger seat, with the door open, “fiddling with documents” in the globe compartment, or fiddling about with something in the car boot - as he happens to be passing, and carry on oblivious - but discreetly seeing if his behaviour changes, or if he engages you to speak....and then take it from there.
Maybe ask him to leave my property if he becomes troublesome.

winniestone37 · 31/10/2019 19:40

You want your neighbour to stop looking at your car? Are you bonkers?Is this a joke?

Ninabean17 · 31/10/2019 20:15

I'd jump out on him, but that's just me. I'd want him to know he was on cctv too, might leave you alone if he knows he'll be on camera!

VanGoghsDog · 31/10/2019 20:31

Regardless of the car, he had no right to keep coming on your part of the driveway. I'd be asking him to pack that in. Tell him it triggers the CCTV and is annoying. Which is true.

Ifeelsuchafool · 31/10/2019 20:39

I'm also inclined to say that this is not normal behaviour but, given his age, I'd be more inclined to say some kind of dementia rather than being on the spectrum. The touching may be to reassure himself that what he's seeing is real. Fantasising is also a symptom, which could be where the stories about OP and her OH might be coming from. Always try to give peeps the benefit me, but it's still vastly annoying, even if he does have problems.

SirGawain · 31/10/2019 21:33

I get a notification on my phone everytime someone is near the car, very very close to the car and also when someone walks on my drive, obviously I'm going to look....

How paranoid can you get. If I did this my phone would never stop pinging.

emilybrontescorsett · 31/10/2019 21:45

There's nothing paranoid about what the opportunity is doing.
It sounds like I have the same system.
It allows me to know who is near or on my property. I can also speak to people when I'm not in, for example delivery drivers.

He sounds like a pain in the arse.

nicky7654 · 31/10/2019 22:49

Go out and chat to him. He may be a really nice fellow and you could become friends.

Celestine70 · 31/10/2019 23:39

He probably just likes it. I would go out and say I see you admiring my new car, do you like it? And take it from there.

Catsinthecupboard · 01/11/2019 03:09

I was trying to give you a kind word until your post of picture.

As a future old person, you're being snotty. Our bodies change as we age.

He likes your car. So what?

Kindness is in short supply nowadays and mocking a person who has aged is shortsighted and unbecoming. I hope his dog relieves itself on your tire.

Catsinthecupboard · 01/11/2019 03:11

As I am a future old person, I believe you're being snotty. (You'll probably be old also, but I am sliding down that slope with alarming speed)

showmewhatyougot · 01/11/2019 05:56

I also don't get some of the comments. I wouldn't like anyone constantly going into my property and touching my possessions. His age is not an excuse, and as it's obviously not a one off he must be doing more in his mind then simply admiring.

Seahorseshoe · 01/11/2019 06:26

Maybe he's just really into cars. Looking at your car is pretty harmless, strange, but I wouldn't say anything. "Oi mate, don't look at my car!" - nope, yabu.

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