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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

New car & my neighbour... Ignore or say something?

252 replies

Greenleafer19 · 30/10/2019 09:13

Hi all
I know MN's love a neighbour post but I may get told to get over it about this one.....

So about 12 days ago I bought a new car and since then my neighbour, who I have a joint drive with but partitioned, can't seem to take his eyes off it.
Everytime he walks his dog, 3x a day he's coming onto my side of the drive and staring at the car, staring in the windows, circling it, stands next to it staring for ages etc.. I've been off work the past 2 weeks so the cars been parked on the drive alot and He's done this everytime he walks his dog, everyday since then. It was funny to watch on the cctv at first but I'm getting a tad concerned/ peed off with it.

This morning, having had it 12 days, I thought the fascination wouldve worn off, but no... He's now gone into the road to stand back and stare at it from a distance....

I've never had any kind of relationship with my neighbour, reason being my husband and I are always at work, keep ourselves to ourselves and apart from walking his dog the neighbour never goes out for us to see him. The very rare occasion we have seen him he tends to ignore us if we smile, wave or say hi but never thought anything of it.

Do I ignore it or say something on the cctv? He knows I have cctv but doesn't seem bothered that I'm watching. I don't want to be rude to an old man but it's now annoying me! (as pathetic as I sound!)

AIBU...??!

OP posts:
Ayemama · 30/10/2019 12:53

Sounds like a nutter. I liked the smile you're on CCTV note a pp suggested.
Or the stills all over the windows.
Or perhaps a window sticker that says honk if your neighbour is as nutty as mine.

I wouldn't put anything through his door though I feel like that might make more issues.

CokeAndCrispsAndDip · 30/10/2019 12:56

Webuiltthisbuffet - I laughed, even said it out loud practising my Irish accent Grin

This would piss me off OP, not the looking so much but being on my drive and touching my property for no reason. I'm a petty bitch sometimes so if it was me I'd be leaving a giant dildo on the seats, or some whips and chains or maybe a pair of handcuffs. That would give him something to gossip about.

ImperfectTents · 30/10/2019 13:05

Print out lots of stills of him looking at the car and put them all over the inside of the car

ImperfectTents · 30/10/2019 13:10

Soundhave read the whole thread!

TheReluctantCountess · 30/10/2019 13:13

I’d have to go out every time he is by the car and ask him if he has a problem.

Derbee · 30/10/2019 13:14

Can you set the alarm off remotely? We have a button on the key fob that sets the alarm off. Every time he goes near your car, or on your drive, set the alarm off and scare the shit out of him?

I’d let it go if someone was just looking at my car, but spreading rumours amongst the neighbours would piss me off

monkeymonkey2010 · 30/10/2019 13:18

You should stick some of these on your car.....then next time you see him staring at your car, click your remote control and flash the lights at him Grin Grin Grin

New car & my neighbour... Ignore or say something?
dreichsky · 30/10/2019 13:28

When DH was in his 20's he had a sales job that meant he ended up with a series of smart cars that were company cars.
Our neighbors comments on this drove us gently nuts.
They were in there 60s and plainly felt we shouldn't be able to live on the same street as them and have new cars (even if we didn't own them).
You may have a similar version of this.

namechangeick · 30/10/2019 13:34

Sounds like he's just jealous that you're so much younger and in the same place as his maybe mixed with a touch of delusion

Simkin · 30/10/2019 13:35

Everybody does weird stuff in private don't they, if you didn't have CCTV you'd be none the wiser. He obviously doesn't know you have! Tell him! He will stop (and probably find a way to blame you for having done it in the first place by the sound of him, but that's not your prob).

beanaseireann · 30/10/2019 13:39

It's not neurotypical behaviour.
I think he may have dementia or could he be on the spectrum - focusing on a particular object.

Aderyn19 · 30/10/2019 13:40

He sounds creepy as fuck. I'd have to say something to him along the lines of fuck off you nutcase.

Beveren · 30/10/2019 13:45

Oh Greenleafer , please please please scatter some talc on the seat or something - he'll be wanking himself into a froth that he's caught you out in drug dealing and will make a total fucking pillock of himself over it!

Tempting as this is, it's probably better to give it a miss if you don't want the police breaking into your car.

cantmovewont · 30/10/2019 13:54

What system do you use where you get these notifications #misses point

andyoldlabour · 30/10/2019 14:02

"but last summer he found a rat in his front garden and my other neighbour told me he said it was our fault (we never had rats!)."

Seriously, it sounds as if you have our ex, horrible neighbour, who did pretty much the same thing. He once confronted me, saying that rats which were in his back garden were living in my garden. We don't have any pets, but he had a dog which they used to let out in the garden to poo, and he had a little aviary.

lborgia · 30/10/2019 22:20

Oh please, with the “this is not neurotypical behaviour”! He knows exactly what he’s doing because he is saying awful things to the neighbours. Can we stop suggesting autism as a reason for unpleasant acts? This man is one-upping on the car, cannot afford to do it another time, is getting himself really worked up about the car, and KNOWS he’s being watched. I’d be writing a cease and desist letter saying that if he doesn’t stay off your property, and stop Touching your property, you will be calling the police. Ridiculous people saying leave him to it - seriously? If someone came up your front yard 3 x a day, and touched your front door, would you find that completely reasonable?

underground76 · 30/10/2019 22:38

LOL at people saying it's absolutely fine for someone to trespass on your property and touch your car on a daily basis. Of course it's not OK, and he's completely out of order.

Also finding it a bit weird that people think age somehow makes people incapable of comprehending the purchase of a Nissan Qashqai. My parents and all their friends are the same age as the OP's neighbour and would not bat an eyelid at a neighbour buying a new car.

Next time it happens, I would go outside and say to him 'I assume you're not aware of this, but whenever you come onto my property to examine my car, it triggers the CCTV system and I get an alert sent direct to my phone, so please stop doing it.'

LongtimeLurker29 · 30/10/2019 22:40

Get the keys and press the button every time he's near it. He might think it's some sort of magic car that's flashing it's lights for him 😂

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 30/10/2019 23:05

Not saying this is what you should do, but if you were to park your car in a friend's garage for a week or two and then, when he asks where it is, start muttering about stolen cars and it now having been recovered by the police, who are checking your CCTV tapes and dusting it for fingerprints before commencing their enquiries in the neighbourhood - he very well might just soil himself.

Derbee · 31/10/2019 01:33

Yes! Do what @WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll suggested! I love this idea!

BlackCatSleeping · 31/10/2019 04:36

I live in a neighborhood with a lot of elderly folks. The other day I came home from work early and found my next door neighbor making a quick embarrassed dash from my garden. My other neighbor always comes into our garden to chat to our cats. The whole thing doesn't bother me.

If I were you, I'd definitely be leaving fake wads of cash and maybe even a toy gun in the car. It will give him something to do.

shearwater · 31/10/2019 04:52

I'd go out and say "Can I help you? Are you quite alright?"

If I saw him repeatedly touching the car I'd march out directly and ask him why he was doing it.

PhilCornwall1 · 31/10/2019 05:39

If he's touching the car, I'd tell him to stop, I wouldn't be having that.

If he's just looking at it, what's the harm. I got a new car last year and my neighbour was having a good look at it, peered in the windows, etc. We do get on with them well though. And to be fair, I couldn't really give a toss if the car gets damaged, as it's a company one Smile

LipstickTaserrr · 31/10/2019 07:35

I can't help but imagine him as Jim from Friday Night Dinner! So very odd.

Branster · 31/10/2019 08:39

Does he talk to the car?!