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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

New car & my neighbour... Ignore or say something?

252 replies

Greenleafer19 · 30/10/2019 09:13

Hi all
I know MN's love a neighbour post but I may get told to get over it about this one.....

So about 12 days ago I bought a new car and since then my neighbour, who I have a joint drive with but partitioned, can't seem to take his eyes off it.
Everytime he walks his dog, 3x a day he's coming onto my side of the drive and staring at the car, staring in the windows, circling it, stands next to it staring for ages etc.. I've been off work the past 2 weeks so the cars been parked on the drive alot and He's done this everytime he walks his dog, everyday since then. It was funny to watch on the cctv at first but I'm getting a tad concerned/ peed off with it.

This morning, having had it 12 days, I thought the fascination wouldve worn off, but no... He's now gone into the road to stand back and stare at it from a distance....

I've never had any kind of relationship with my neighbour, reason being my husband and I are always at work, keep ourselves to ourselves and apart from walking his dog the neighbour never goes out for us to see him. The very rare occasion we have seen him he tends to ignore us if we smile, wave or say hi but never thought anything of it.

Do I ignore it or say something on the cctv? He knows I have cctv but doesn't seem bothered that I'm watching. I don't want to be rude to an old man but it's now annoying me! (as pathetic as I sound!)

AIBU...??!

OP posts:
Winterflower84 · 30/10/2019 11:02

It's your property. Why should you be fine with him touching your car??? I don't understand some of the comments above. To me it's the same as someone touching my front door and the lock. I wouldn't even think twice and would just ask him not to do it anymore.

Original poster
Greenleafer19 · 30/10/2019 11:03

Don't know what you're on about to be honest, I live in North London. What does the car model matter? It's what we wanted Hmm

OP posts:
FlossieTeacakesFurCoat18 · 30/10/2019 11:04

Hide in it in the footwell and pop up when he comes near 😆

Storsteinen · 30/10/2019 11:05

Why did someone ask if OP was in Northern Ireland???

TommyShelby · 30/10/2019 11:06

If you’re in next time he’s there oggling your car, I’d just stick my head through the front door and say ‘can I help at all? The dash cam has picked you up looking at the car’.
He’ll either come out and say something or he’ll scurry off and hopefully Be put off

Original poster
Greenleafer19 · 30/10/2019 11:06

@Winterflower84 it's mumsnet, I expected it.

Once, twice, three times but not after nearly 2 weeks, he's taking the p*ss Angry

OP posts:
SpookilyBadOooooooh · 30/10/2019 11:08

I don’t know about legally hose him down? But it’s not illegal to wash UOUR car on YOUR drive! 😊

At Christmas, send him a card from the car

Made me laugh until I read your update!!

How old is he? Just weighing up options re sorting him
Out!

Original poster
Greenleafer19 · 30/10/2019 11:11

In his 70s

OP posts:
Sotiredbutcannotsleep · 30/10/2019 11:17

Yes we have had this before from a not-very-nice neighbour when we got a new car (he built a fence over the boundary of our property and connected drain pipes when we briefly rented it out). He interrogated my husband on the driveway asking what job he has, how much he earns etc because he couldn't believe we got it legally Hmm. It was a 2 year old one too.

LazyDaisey · 30/10/2019 11:17

You type on an a4 paper and stick to the inside of your window (so he can read)

Smile, you’re on CCTV. Every single time you trespass on our drive, stand next to our car and start touching it — we get notified via phone in real time.

It’s been going on for weeks now and you need to please stop now.

Majorcollywobble · 30/10/2019 11:20

Is it highly polished ? Maybe he hasn’t a full length mirror at home ?

TheQueef · 30/10/2019 11:25

Sorry I haven't read tft.
Hmm
It is weird to be bothered by someone looking at your car.
YABU and get rid of the cctv. You only have limited time on this earth.

LtJudyHopps · 30/10/2019 11:26

Put a Halloween mask on the head rest!
There’s a road by my house I drive down that has two cars, one at each end, with joker like masks on the head rests so it looks like someone sitting in the car. Made me jump last Halloween!

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 30/10/2019 11:28

Webuiltthisbuffet.... What makes you ask if she's in NI?

Just a terrible joke alluding to the way some people with NI accents might pronounce the name 'Qashqai' and the phrase 'Cash Cow' in an almost identical way. It really wasn't worth it, though Smile

insanecandycorn · 30/10/2019 11:32

Absolutely bizarre.

Quite shocked that another poster said that you're the issue here for watching the cctv when a man is coming on to your property numerous times and touching your car. Car enthusiast or not it's odd behaviour.

YANBU at all, but I'd have gone outside and asked him what he was doing by now.

NoSquirrels · 30/10/2019 11:36

Just drop him a note:

Neighbour, because I have a dashcam on the car, it notifies my phone if someone’s standing too close to the car - it’s a theft prevention alert. Unfortunately you’ve been setting off the alerts every time you look at the car, when you walk the dog etc. Would you please try not to get too close? It’s a bit unnerving to have the CCTV alerting me every time.
Thanks.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 30/10/2019 11:36

Older people may not be used to the habit among younger people of even relatively modest means using finance to purchase brand new cars every 2 or 3 years. This is something that has only become affordable/the norm in the last 10 or 15 yrs or so. He may be confused by what he perceives as a bizarre gap between normal incomes and new cars appearing on your drive. 30 or 40 years ago a brand new car appearing regularly was probably a sign of having some dodgy income on the side, unless you are really rather wealthy.

WillLokireturn · 30/10/2019 11:37

He's repeatedly trespassing uninvited (with no legitimate business to do so) into your drive and touching your car. He's up to no good and I'd be having very entitled if he thinks that's okay behaviour.

I'd send him a letter that says "we have dashcam and cctv and receive live notifications every single time you trespass into our property and touch our car. We have had multiple notifications of you doing so for more than 14 days. Please cease and desist, and leave our property alone. "

WillLokireturn · 30/10/2019 11:38

'is behaving ' not 'I'd be having'

Tooner · 30/10/2019 11:38

Why haven't you just confronted him when he's trespassing on your drive?
Not unreasonable at all to be pissed off about it.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 30/10/2019 11:39

He interrogated my husband on the driveway asking what job he has, how much he earns etc because he couldn't believe we got it legally hmm. It was a 2 year old one too.

I wondered that, too. He might be the self-appointed Car-Ownership Police and see it as his duty to assess whether you really need a big 4x4 and/or should be able to afford it - especially if you're a woman who should clearly be driving a 15yo Smart Car but only when your husband allows you to drive if somewhere is too far to walk.

You get this with the lazy 'Chelsea Tractor' accusations that get hurled around. Whilst I'm sure plenty of people do buy a huge Land Rover and never take it out of the city (as is their right to do so), you have no way of knowing where they live and what work/lifestyle/hobby requirements they might have. Should rural farmers feel pressurised to buy an additional hatchback as well as their everyday work vehicle, just to avoid the sneers from people when they take their children to school or go to do a big supermarket shop?

HowlinProwlin · 30/10/2019 11:40

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

I got the joke.. it was appreciated here..

I suspect my evil neighbours have similar issue with my brand new 25K car that I couldn't POSSIBLY afford on a part time self employed wage. I am sure that pisses her right off and has been the catalyst for some fairly petty behaviour, though she hasn't gone so far as to actually get up close and examine the car!

I think I'd be tempted to stick a sign in the car saying I BOUGHT THIS WITH THE PROCEEDS OF HUMAN TRAFFICKING, NOW FUCK OFF.. but I am an arsehole...

Gingaaarghpussy · 30/10/2019 11:42

Next time he does it, open a window and tell "get off my drive" and shut your window. It could be the newer version of get off my lawn. Although it might not be wise because he might have a heart attack or something.

Gingaaarghpussy · 30/10/2019 11:43

*yell not tell.

OoohRhubarbLetsGo · 30/10/2019 11:47

You need to find a way of getting the car to talk to him, like KITT in Knight Rider.

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