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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

New car & my neighbour... Ignore or say something?

252 replies

Greenleafer19 · 30/10/2019 09:13

Hi all
I know MN's love a neighbour post but I may get told to get over it about this one.....

So about 12 days ago I bought a new car and since then my neighbour, who I have a joint drive with but partitioned, can't seem to take his eyes off it.
Everytime he walks his dog, 3x a day he's coming onto my side of the drive and staring at the car, staring in the windows, circling it, stands next to it staring for ages etc.. I've been off work the past 2 weeks so the cars been parked on the drive alot and He's done this everytime he walks his dog, everyday since then. It was funny to watch on the cctv at first but I'm getting a tad concerned/ peed off with it.

This morning, having had it 12 days, I thought the fascination wouldve worn off, but no... He's now gone into the road to stand back and stare at it from a distance....

I've never had any kind of relationship with my neighbour, reason being my husband and I are always at work, keep ourselves to ourselves and apart from walking his dog the neighbour never goes out for us to see him. The very rare occasion we have seen him he tends to ignore us if we smile, wave or say hi but never thought anything of it.

Do I ignore it or say something on the cctv? He knows I have cctv but doesn't seem bothered that I'm watching. I don't want to be rude to an old man but it's now annoying me! (as pathetic as I sound!)

AIBU...??!

OP posts:
BowiesJumper · 30/10/2019 10:03

At Christmas, send him a card from the car.

heartofwhat · 30/10/2019 10:03

If you are home you should just go and open the door every time he does this.

You can stand and stare back at him or smile and wave. He might stop it if he is forced to interact with you every time.

Gazelda · 30/10/2019 10:03

In answer to your question, I'd ignore. He's not doing any harm. The novelty will no doubt soon wear off.
If you were to speak with him about it, he'd be defensive. It wouldn't improve neighbourly relations.

As to why, I don't know. Maybe he's aware the camera is picking up his actions and he's doing it to wind you up?

yellowallpaper · 30/10/2019 10:04

He's just a nasty weirdo and jealous of you new car. Ignore him it's the best option.

TreePeepingWatcher · 30/10/2019 10:04

My friend's ex was a car enthusiast, could just look at a car all day. He had the most incredible set of cleaning tools to get into every nook and cranny and would spend a long time washing, drying and polishing his car. Hence why he was an ex in the end, spent more time with the car than with her or their children. Still takes the children to car shows on his weekends.

Yes the alerts are annoying but he isn't wanking over the car. Let him just walk round the car. He isn't doing any harm. And so what if one neighbour doesn't like him?

mumtobe1984 · 30/10/2019 10:06

No offence OP but from what you've said it sounds like your neighbour doesn't like you. If it was me I wouldn't like it either so YANBU. Go on the cctv and ask if he wants to take a photo. I wouldn't be happy about anyone being on my drive without good reason regardless of the car

ThatsMyAddress · 30/10/2019 10:07

I must be the only one but this would annoy the hell out of me

Agree with PP who said unlock and lock your car through the window when he’s doing it, he’ll shit himself 😂

RaeCJ82 · 30/10/2019 10:09

YANBU, that is weird and annoying. Next time he does it I would just happen to pop out of the house and casually say something along the lines of "do you like my new car".

Witchend · 30/10/2019 10:09

I find it just as odd that you have a car that you describe as nothing special, but have cctv set up to notify you if someone is close to the car.
I mean no one's going to bother doing that to our 12yo Nissan are they?

QuestionableMouse · 30/10/2019 10:10

I'm normally pretty easy going but I'd hate this. My family have had a couple of cars broken into or vandalised so I'm a bit twitch about people near my car.

I do think you need to say something to him. Doesn't have to be confrontational, just along the lines of, hi, like the car then? And see where it goes.

thenightsky · 30/10/2019 10:11

What make and model car is it OP?

Storsteinen · 30/10/2019 10:12

Car fetish bloke - definitely.
Why do you have your CCTV set up so that you get a notification anytime anyone gets too near the car? Is it a really special kind of a car?

TroysMammy · 30/10/2019 10:13

This has made me remember a joke from many years ago "I'll never shag a Princess again. I burnt my knob on the exhaust pipe".

doxxed · 30/10/2019 10:14

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for privacy reasons.

Jaxhog · 30/10/2019 10:15

Why not just ask him not to stand too close to the car as it sets off your CCTV?

Original poster
Greenleafer19 · 30/10/2019 10:15

It's a 2 year old Nissan qashqai and I have a dash cam in it due to a previous accident I had so it sends notifications to my phone. I wouldn't call that flash? Neighbour has 4 cars, much nicer than ours so that's another reason why I'm confused as to why he's so fascinated with ours.

OP posts:
SpoopyStuff · 30/10/2019 10:17

Every time he sets off your CCTV, launch out of the front door with your keys and open the boot as if you're looking for something. Give him a cheery 'Morning!' as you pass.

He'll either converse with you, or scarper, and he'll soon recognise the pattern and know he can't get away with wandering around your part of the drive poking your vehicle.

BlackeyedGruesome · 30/10/2019 10:17

may be cars are his special interest. put it this way. it is like having a security guard for your car.

IsolaPribby · 30/10/2019 10:17

Are people missing the fact that this guy is actually coming on to OP's drive ie her property, and touching her car ie her property, without her permission!

OP I would definitely challenge him in some way. Next time he is on your drive open the door and ask him what he is doing!

OnlyTheTitOfTheIceberg · 30/10/2019 10:24

I'm surprised there's so much dismissal of this. He's coming on to the OP's property, touching her car parked on her property and doing this numerous times a day for the best part of a fortnight. Surely even the most avid car enthusiast (assuming charitably that's what he is) will pick up the information they're interested in about the car after a couple of examinations?

OP, next time he's out there I'd go out and ask him if you can help him, as you may be able to give him the information he seems to be looking for in/on your car quicker than he's proving able to find it. And if need be you or your husband keep going out and asking him until he gets the message you've clocked him. (I'd actually be tempted to post a sales brochure about Qashqais through his door passive-aggressively, but that might not stop him!)

Beautiful3 · 30/10/2019 10:24

He probably loves it and wishes he had one!

GuessWhoColeen · 30/10/2019 10:25

Put a note in the car window - Step away from the motor.

Does he go out there at night?

SchadenfiendeUnmortified · 30/10/2019 10:25

Speak to him.

Say you couldn't help noticing him admiring the car, and would he like to have a close look/ sit in it/ etc. Offer to take the obsessive twat him for a short drive. Tell him about all the special features; let him feel the delightful warmth of the heated seat; show him the integral sat nav and coffee grinder.

It might be quicker in the long run.

SchadenfiendeUnmortified · 30/10/2019 10:26

Oh - just read what type of car you have.

As you were.

Maybe he's amazed that anything older than two years is still drivable?

OctoberLovers · 30/10/2019 10:27

Maybe he has a mental health condition and cars are abit of an obsession.

He isnt hurting you or the car.

Get over it

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