Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how much time your partners took off after you had a baby?

124 replies

Phuquocdreams · 29/10/2019 23:33

Feeling so tired and a little sorry for myself but know not everyone has dps who can take time off! We came home from hospital on Friday, dh was off over the weekend and Monday, but back to work today, not home til 9. Baby was 6 days today and like many a newborn doesn’t like to be put down, I’m ebf so doing all the nights and have two v boisterous boys to feed and entertain on top of it all! I am so bone tired this evening and just wish my dh had been able to take a little more time off, so many men seem to be able to take 2 weeks off. How long did your partners take off? Were they useful?

OP posts:
areyouafraidofthedark · 30/10/2019 00:35

Two weeks paternity and two weeks annual leave.

TwinMumSuperHero · 30/10/2019 01:07

When we found out we were having twins, my first thought was around paternity leave. I gave my husband 4 weeks of my leave and he had 2 weeks paternity leave. It was incredible to have him but I think it made my PNA worse as weeks 4 and 5 I was so anxious about him going back to work.
Definitely chat about it if you're not happy, can he do slightly shorter hours, start earlier and finish earlier if that's when you need more help?

user1471582494 · 30/10/2019 02:00

With No.1 He was back at work the next day, No.2 was a C-section he was at work 2 days later. By No.3 he had a decent job with decent conditions and he took 2 weeks off but then I got desperately sick and he ended up taking another 2 weeks off.
You manage because you have to.

Curious2468 · 30/10/2019 02:05

2 weeks and then 5 Fridays to make long weekend for the first month. Really helped and also gave him time to bond too. We were very lucky though that his work allowed it

ashjayne19 · 30/10/2019 02:18

My partner took 3 weeks off (including 5 day hospital stay due to episiotomy, forceps and 3rd degree tear) I don't think I could have done everything by myself and I only have the one! You must be a very strong woman.

user1497787065 · 30/10/2019 02:30

Picked me up from hospital at 12noon, back to work at 2pm.

HoldMyLobster · 30/10/2019 02:44

IIRC he took off a week with babies 1 and 2 - that was the statutory minimum then.

With baby 3 he took off a week, then he took the odd day off here and there during the next month to make it up to the statutory 2 weeks.

I took the statutory minimum maternity leave - 4 months with baby 1 and 6 months with baby 3. With baby 2 I had a college course to get back to, so I had 3 months leave.

Purpleartichoke · 30/10/2019 02:50

2 weeks. He would have taken longer, but he worked from home anyway so was able
To flex his schedule to help out.

CJsGoldfish · 30/10/2019 03:01

My DH stayed with me at the hospital but went to work during the day. He brought me home each time but went straight back to work most times. Suited me, I was happy to plod on during the day and he was a great help once he got home.

Congratulations OP.

Merryoldgoat · 30/10/2019 03:14

6 weeks both times - 2 weeks Paternity leave followed by 2 weeks annual leave. He then went back to work for 2 weeks and took 2 further weeks after that.

He was a godsend.

We are very fortunate as he gets 7 weeks annual leave and he planned his calendar from early.

I was readmitted with DS2 5 days PP so knowing he was there for DS18.

Friendlyapple · 30/10/2019 03:15

Mine took one day for each DC (3 under three, all EMCS, no family nearby). It was so tough.

This is survival CakeBrewFlowers

Don’t worry about screen time (there are many years ahead to feel guilty about that). Getting outside when you can is good (but not easy logistically). I co-slept with third one. No way I would have coped otherwise.

It was the toughest time of my life. But it was worth it

Candle1000 · 30/10/2019 03:24

My ex took 2 weeks annual leave and spent every day of it in the pub Angry.

ShippingNews · 30/10/2019 03:29

Mine took half a day off for both - they were both born in the morning and he popped back to work by lunch time.

Hellofromtheotherside2020 · 30/10/2019 03:46

3 days in total, one of those was the day I was giving birth... To twins. I was only just 20 years old too.
Self employed so no work no pay.

He took 3 days again when our youngest son was born.

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger and all that.

Good luck with your new baby and congratulations x

ChrisPrattsFace · 30/10/2019 03:50

Congratulations!
6 days! Gave birth on Wednesday and he was back at work Tuesday. But he also done a lot kid phone calls and emails in those days he was ‘home’ too

AJPTaylor · 30/10/2019 03:56

Dd1. Born on the Wednesday, back at work on the Monday.
Dd2. I made him take 2 weeks off
Dd3 a week.
Self employed. Tbh the 2 week one I was ready for him to go back after a week and let me get on with it

TheKrakening3 · 30/10/2019 03:59

Less than 12 hours for my first two births and 48 hours for the third, but only because she came on Christmas Day. Self-employed DH too. The first birth was shortly after his business partner had to retire for MH reasons. The second he had just secured a huge client and the third, he was in the middle of merging his business with another firm. It couldn’t be helped and we muddled through.

Megan2018 · 30/10/2019 04:29

4 weeks, 2 weeks paid holiday and 2 weeks paternity. Its been expensive, but worth it. This will be our only baby so wanted to make the most of it.
DH is usually self employed but is currently employed so took advantage of the novelty of paid leave.

stucknoue · 30/10/2019 04:38

2 days, no family help. This was normal then too as no paternity leave. My elder dd was diagnosed as being autistic a few weeks later. So hard

idontdance · 30/10/2019 04:51

2 weeks with DS1 and 3 weeks with DTwins

Original poster
Phuquocdreams · 30/10/2019 04:58

I think I was super annoyed at him because he threw a bit of a strop on Sunday because everyone (ie my mum) was concentrating on me and no one was recognizing how much he was tired (my 2nd born was v disturbed at night when I first came back from hospital which kept us both awake - I barely slept all night with the 2 and then slept on in bed for 3 hours Sunday morning which he felt v aggrieved about). He was busy but I don’t think he (or maybe men in general) appreciate the toll childbirth and establishing breastfeeding takes. He discovered my maternity pads yesterday and was shocked when I told him I was still bleeding so hopefully that will make him realize you don’t pop them out and be physically at full strength immediately. This little beauty has just slept almost 5 hours (Cosleeping) which I don’t think her siblings did at this stage so she’s a little jewel in amongst the savage sore throat and head I have at the moment!

OP posts:
AngeloMysterioso · 30/10/2019 05:02

I’m 40+6 with DC1 today... DH took two week’s annual leave which started on the 18th Oct and has 6 months paternity leave from 1st Nov to 1st May. We’re so lucky, the company he works for gives equal paid parental leave to men and women.

summedup · 30/10/2019 05:03

DD1: 6 weeks

DD2: 2 days

DH self-employed so all depended on our financial situation at the time and how quiet or busy work was for him.

Cacacoisfarraige · 30/10/2019 05:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

icklekid · 30/10/2019 05:16

Dh took 1 week paternity and 1 week holiday as financially that’s what we could afford- both times my mum came up for the 3rd week which was a life saver... most importantly we talked about it and what was reasonable to expect of each other through those first sleep deprived and exhausted days!

Swipe left for the next trending thread