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Original poster

Guilt about not making memories

118 replies

FedUp100 · 29/10/2019 20:48

Advice needed please!
My beautiful little girl is 5.
I never took any impressions of her tiny feet or hands when she was a baby.
I don't know why I didn't, I just never thought about it. I was always soooo busy looking after her and my toddler by myself (have a husband but he works such long hours I barely see him) and working part time, it was just something I never got round to doing.
Now I spend a lot of time going round to her friends houses on playdates where they have bronze casts of their baby's feet, or plaster casts of their baby's hands, sitting proudly on display on the mantle piece, and it sends a physical pain through my gut that I never did this. Her tininess is lost, never cast in time.
Help, this is making me feel quite ill with bitter regret!
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

OP posts:
BornInAThunderstorm · 29/10/2019 20:51

I have a hand cast and a massive photo print of ds as a baby, they are both in my bedroom now as he complained they were embarrassing him when his friends came round Blush
If your children are healthy and happy you have done it right whether you got a cast or not

LisaSimpsonsbff · 29/10/2019 20:52

Presumably you took some photos of her when she was newborn? Even if not, you have memories - you can't feel guilty over not making memories when you have memories!

For what it's worth, I think those hand/foot cast things are tacky as fuck.

NewNameGuy · 29/10/2019 20:53

5 is still tiny! And she'll remember making something together with you now

Babybel90 · 29/10/2019 20:54

I didn’t do it either, or newborn photo shoots, mainly because it’s a bit naff but also because I was busy looking after her.

Don’t fret about it, if you really want it then do it now while she’s still small.

Fishcakey · 29/10/2019 20:54

Making memories is the most irritating phrase in the world! Memories just happen. You haven't forced yours and tried to do the perfect thing, don't worry xxx

SoyDora · 29/10/2019 20:55

I’ve got three young DC and haven’t done this for any of them! I have photos, and my actual memories Smile

underneaththeash · 29/10/2019 20:55

We never got them done as I thought they were a bit naff and generally they all look the same. My children are older now and I can't remember the last time I saw them displayed at one of our friend's houses.

I'm sure you have lots of lovely photos that display her previous tininess.

PinkiOcelot · 29/10/2019 20:55

I wouldn’t worry about It OP. IMO you don’t have to make memories. Memories are just there regardless.

Personally, I think casts are great when you get them done, but then what? Dust harbourers then put away in a box or something.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 29/10/2019 20:56

I tried the hand cast- failed miserably!!! Stuff isn’t memories, memories are memories. Did you take pictures and videos?

Alb1 · 29/10/2019 20:56

Get one done now? She’s still very little. She’s happy and healthy, you haven't missed out on anything! And now she’s bigger shel remember having the casts done so there will be an actual memory to go with them rather than just sneaking a sleeping babies hand into a jar of putty...

recededpronunciation · 29/10/2019 20:57

The really important memories will be the ones that SHE has with you. And they probably won’t be the big event things that you might expect either. One of my kids’ favourite memories is the day I woke them up in the school holidays and let them have a wagon wheel for breakfast. In bed. 😳

BelfastSmile · 29/10/2019 20:57

Honestly, I think stuff like that is just one more thing for the kids to throw out when I die. Like keeping their teeth or locks of hair. You've just cut out the middle man.

ButDoYouAvocado · 29/10/2019 20:58

I did them. They are now 16 and 14 and really dontwant them on display so they're in the loft! Do it now if it bothers you, her hands and feet still have a long way to go.

Wildorchidz · 29/10/2019 20:58

Do her hand and foot prints in paint
Very simple to do

LisaSimpsonsbff · 29/10/2019 20:59

My first response was really dismissive but a few minutes later I realised how much it sounds like the sort of thing I obsessed over when I had untreated anxiety - is everything generally ok, OP?

FrankiesKnuckle · 29/10/2019 20:59

No gender reveal
No baby shower
No casts of hands or feet
No milestone cards
No 1st birthday party/cake smash

But - I've surrounded my child with love and fun, not poked a camera in their face every 5 mins so I can post my 'living my best life' insta perfect parent lie....

Love is what matters.

MsTSwift · 29/10/2019 20:59

Seriously I don’t know a single person that did this it’s abit weird surely nothing to feel bad about!

PrincessHoneysuckle · 29/10/2019 21:00

My ds tinyness is list in photos,I had pnd and can hardly remember him when he was a baby,i think o picked it out.It doesn't make you any less of a parent

Raffles1981 · 29/10/2019 21:01

I don't know anyone that has feet/hand prints of their children. I didn't do it, because I think they are tacky. I have put a photo album together and a memory box but memories - actual memories are made without you realising. Do you really think people keep those prints out for life?

Unsureofthescore113 · 29/10/2019 21:03

I agree with a previous poster with the great idea to get one done now, as she can be part of the experience herself as she’s still small 😀 I’ve actually got one of when my DS was a baby BUT when I look at it it reminds me of when we were fretting over his health when he was born and as soon as we were wheeled onto the ward the company that did it pulled back the hospital curtain and pounced on us, and I did it because I felt backed into a corner. Looking at it brings back memories of THAT moment when I felt hassled and vulnerable, not of when he was a newborn.

Cuddlysnowleopard · 29/10/2019 21:03

I didn't even know that this is a thing. I don't know a single person who has done this.

Just enjoy the moment now.

Waitingforadulthood · 29/10/2019 21:03

I don't know if you've ever spoken to the adults in your life about your childhood memories- because for me, and indeed for most people, the people who "share" your memories very rarely share your memories. Perspective, age, time, emotion etc make all the difference. My mother's favourite memories of my childhood bear no relation to mine.

And a mould on a thing, an object, is worth nothing comparably to either her or my actual memories. I have a mould of my stillborn sons feet. It's all the memory I have, because I wasn't given the chance to have any real ones. You have real memories. Of life lived. Treasure them

AmIUnreasonableOrNot · 29/10/2019 21:04

Op make memories now she will remember do something so special get your first mummy daughter mani pedi or get the plaster casts now she’s still tiny. Take mummy & daughter selfies now these are the things she will remember

chocatoo · 29/10/2019 21:05

Did you keep her first shoes? A friend had one cast in bronze.

topcat2014 · 29/10/2019 21:05

DD 13 is busy talking to her friend about when they sat on potties side by side in the back garden. No naff Nic nacs in our house.. don't worry they are not memories

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