Sweets by the till in Next

[OpportunityKnocks]

Popped into Next earlier.

A woman was having a right go at a member of staff behind the till because of the placement of sweets by the queue and how awful it is for parents because of the temptation for kids.

This is all whilst buying said sweets because her child (dd2 maybe 3yo) is having a massive meltdown.

Obviously mum was having a hard day, but I lost sympathy for her for taking it out on a member of staff.

Aibu for thinking it's her own fault if she gives in to the meltdowns?

People are lazy parents now, they take the easy option. Boundaries don’t really exist for a lot of kids, they don’t hear the word no, they simply aren’t parented

I'd love to see the piece of research that backs all this up.

@MintyMabel

If you google parenting and lack of boundaries then you will find many many examples. It is considered one of the biggest problems in modern parenting and is creating generations of children with behaviour problems, rudeness, criminal behaviour, kids who lack responsibility, who won’t respect people in authority and who expect things to just be given to them.

It is considered one of the biggest problems in modern parenting

Nothing in a google search brings up research which backs that up. Nor that a lack of boundaries is a new phenomenon.

Just opinion. Which isn't the same thing. And often opinion of people who have no experience of parenting this generation except what they see in a one minute snapshot at a store till.

@mintymabel
It's surely a vicious cycle. Kid kicks off. You give them sweets. Kid learns that tantrums get them what they want. Mum gets increasingly stressed because kid is regularly having a tantrum. Lashes out at staff member and has blamed her parenting on an individual staff member. I'm judging her for the whole scenario, integral to that was her unfair outburst.

Being shaken as a result of being on the receiving end of the outburst is surely obvious!

Anything else you'd like to pick holes in?

My son was awful for demanding sweets, toys etc when he was small.

I don't remember ever asking my parents for things like that, as I knew I wouldn't get any.

@MintyMabel
I'm not going to debate with someone who doesn't know how to search for articles.

There are articles detailing how educators deal with children with behavioural issues, and one of the thing study encounter is trying to compensate for a lack of structure and boundaries at home, so their attempts to fix the problems fail because the home life is so tralala.

There are articles investigating how the lack of structure and boundaries leads to narcissism in those children as they grow.

It's goes on. But it's also bloody common sense; if you don't teach your child that no means no, then they will tantrum and get whatever they want. If tantrums work, kids will do it. If they don't work, they stop.

Primark has sweets at the till too. I really doubt anyone is going to starve during a shopping trip .

I really doubt anyone is going to starve during a shopping trip

megletthesecond Nobody is saying that they will. That’s really not why they put them there 😂

It's just another example of people eating too much junk. Drives me up the wall seeing food in clothes shops.

She’s just ranting at the nearest person whom she can blame. Probably a bit of self loathing thrown in there too for not being able to say no to the child.

She will be sat at home now feeling like a dick for cracking up.

It's just another example of people eating too much junk. Drives me up the wall seeing food in clothes shops.

megletthesecond Who are you to say people are “eating too much junk”? It’s absolutely none of your business. A person’s health and diet are their own choices and responsibility, nobody else’s.

Nobody is forcing you to buy them, and just because you don’t like or approve of something it doesn’t mean it should be taken away as an option for everyone else.

Pringles I see your point, but I never had meltdowns as a child. We don't all have them, you know. Actually, I don't really do emotions.

@Lulualla

Perfectly capable of searching.

You seem incapable of extrapolating data and following debate.

None of the articles have suggested this is a new phenomena, linked to a new "modern style" of parenting. Nor that we are seeing this in a majority of families. Nor that it is a widespread problem.

It's surely a vicious cycle. Kid kicks off. You give them sweets. Kid learns that tantrums get them what they want

You still seem to want to suggest she made a rational choice to parent in that way. What you likely saw was a mum at the end of her tether, doing what she could to get through the day.

I only hope one day when you make a mistake, there isn't someone to witness it and post a thread here about it, inviting the internet to judge you.

It's absolutely revolting the way that some people think that they can speak to retail staff. It's a shitty enough job as it is, without entitled middle class mummies harping on at you about things that are out of your control. Hopefully that member of staff didn't take it to heart, and instead had a good old laugh with her colleagues at her expense afterwards.

And yes, she needs to learn to parent her child properly.

I have been the parents whose child kicks up hell because they can't have what they want at the checkout. I've been the parent who others choose to judge because the child is making a scene. If I'd given in and let the DC have what they'd wanted I'd have been judged negatively, in not giving in and accepting that they were upset without trying to bribe them into joy, I still got judged negatively.

You can't win. Ever.

Sweets by checkouts are shit, though, and just encourage children to ask and beg and cajole. I've always been a "no is a full sentence" kind of parent so they've learned to look longingly and say nothing, but for stressed out or overwhelmed parents having a rough day, it must be shit to have another little reason for a tantrum heaped on top.

You can't win. Ever.

of course you can.
Ignore other people and parent as you seem fit, I honestly don't think I"ve ever notice a negative reaction when I was with my kids. I am sure there has been plenty , but I have always been blissfully unaware!

@mintymabel
Half quoting me. I couldn't care less whether she gave her kids sweets or not. I don't really care whether she gave into pester power. I do care that she didn't want to, but wasn't able to deal with it, and THEN blamed someone else for HER decisions.

Oh just ignore @MintyMabel, she's determined to hijack the whole thread OP.
Some people will complain about literally everything with no respect for anyone else's opinions.

I do care that she didn't want to, but wasn't able to deal with it, and THEN blamed someone else for HER decisions.

Still not getting it, huh? Not every action is a "decision"

I still don't see how it has anything to do with you, why you need to judge and what was so important about it you felt it needed a MN post to invite everyone else to judge her too.

Poor woman it wasn't her fault, staff have to cope with bat shit crazy women all the time.
What bad parenting, I would have said something, but I call a spade a spade.

Oh just ignore @MintyMabel**

And yet you chose not to.

she's determined to hijack the whole thread OP. By responding to someone responding to me? You do know that's how it works, right?

Some people will complain about literally everything with no respect for anyone else's opinions.

Oh, the irony 😆

Other supermarkets renoved sweets from the checkouts long ago.

Everywhere you look there are healthy eating messages etc.

So for Next to introduce this, among the anti sugar climate, is wrong.

If it becomes an unpleasant place to shop, they will go the way of many businesses. So it needs a rethink.

I'm suprised sweets are worth the floorspace in somewhere like next. Socks, hair bands or lint rollers would be much more handy!

Completely agree that not the shop assistant's fault and that parent should say no. However shops like this should also take responsibility and take sweets away from next to till. Sell them but just move them from area where customers have no choice but to wait in line.

It absolutely is everyone's problem about increased obesity as taxes will need to rise to cover the cost of increased medical need.

It doesn't engender goodwill towards the shops they do this and people may choose to order online instead this further decreasing footfall.

Also everyone whose perfect child just accepts "no" immediately hasn't met a child like my middle one who will continue to pester and pester despite being told no on multiple occasions. It's just how he is. It's very wearing to always have to say no.