...about homeless man outside our shop.

[Ashamed2BFeeling]

Less of an AIBU and more WWYD.

Every night for the past few weeks, what we assume is a homeless man has been sitting outside the convenience store where I work. We're open till late and have a couple of pubs and a chippy right on our doorstep so have people coming in and out all night.

So we frequently have people coming in buying him food which is great to see. In fact yesterday, someone went to the chippy and bought him a portion of chips that he had to give away because someone an hour ago had already bought him chips and gravy!

A very kind lady came by just last night with a thick regatta coat and a new pair of trainers for him.

We make him a cup of tea when we're doing one and stuff but now and again, we'll get people coming in buying him beer that he's asked for. Not great but he's not causing any hassle. We've not had any complaints from customers, more concern than anything else.

But at the end of the night when we go to close up shop, he's always left. And while this is late, it's not the middle of the night or anything. I don't know where he goes.

Basically, is there something we can do for him, someone we can call? It's great that people are happy to feed him (and I'm hoping that doesn't sound patronising), but I'd love it if we could help him find a more long term solution.

Any suggestions are gratefully received.

Think it's really important to remember that yes there are some scammers out there, but equally there are some genuine homeless people too. Buying them the odd drink and sandwich isn't going to turn them into millionaires, a bit of love and compassion goes a long way. It can be very bleak for the homeless, especially during these cold months.

If he is ex-forces (you can ask him) SSAFA can and will help.

shiningstar2

Good for you to be involved.

You may already know this but Greggs give unsold food to organisations like yours. I found out when I was trying to find a home for a tree full of pears.

Fucking hell

Just because there are some dishonest people who pretend to be homeless, that isn’t any reason to tat genuinely homeless people with the same brush.

There are liars in every sub section of society. For instance , Boris Johnson is proven liar. Does this mean we shouldn’t trust the entire Conservative party? ;-)

As a teacher in an impoverished area, I see children starting off life at such a deficit, socially, emotionally, academically. It can be such a battle to keep them in the system and help equip them for life in society. You make progress, build relationships and then just have to pass them on to someone else and hope for the best.

I often look at homeless people and wonder about the teachers, social workers and families who must have loved them at some point, only for them to be pushed on through the system, failed by society and spat out the other side.

No one is born bad. It’s desperately soul crushing what society does to some.

I get the feeling that those who go on about “scammers” are the same ones who are dismayed and shocked that generally speaking, Big Issue sellers are not on the streets.

I’d like to know what determines being “scammed”. Are there levels of homelessness that you are ok with? Living in a box, fine buy them a sandwich - living out of a hostel- no keep your money.

At the end of the day, your choice is simple- do you feel that the person sitting begging on the street is less fortunate/more vulnerable than you... what do you want to do about it.

Funny isn’t it - on mn we see people in desperate situations saying “should I do, ironing, sex work, cleaning, etc to gain some extra cash. Not once seen “I’m thinking of taking up begging”. It’s not a choice anyone who wasn’t desperate would take regardless of whether they have an actual roof over their heads.

Whether if you give cash it may be spend on drugs or alcohol is a completely separate issue and is one regardless of whether the person is “homeless” or not.

It's not unlikely that he goes back to his flat, the most prolific beggars we have locally, who have their spots as your guy seems too, are not homes, but beggars

@Zebraaa how did you get on last night, did you get your chips and can of coke?

My son volunteers for a homeless charity, I can assure you homelessness is not glamorous.

You seemed to make out like it was just so easy and you're just handed food and drink and it's all so lovely.

Try sitting on a cold hard pavement for hours, try sleeping in the elements, try not knowing when you'll ever be warm again,

Some truly awful posts on here, including the ridiculous "there's hardly any truly homeless people", said from the comfort of their warm, cozy home...... there are loads more homeless than you know because the charity's that do the count are not even allowed to count them properly as they for instance can't enter stairwells where many will go to shelter.

So for all you harsh posters, think what it was like to sleep out last night and winter is only just starting!

@marypeary
fullfact.org/online/homeless-people-britain-iceland/

320,000 people homeless. I didn’t say street sleeping but even 1 on the streets is too many. Everything we have in this world and we can’t give everyone shelter in 2019??

@OnlyTheTitOfTheIceberg I am with you. I support a few charities, I am not even vaguely well off
Sometimes people take delight in telling me that giving to charity is a waste of money and I am just lining some fat cat’s pocket. I really don’t care. Helping others is the right thing to do, the moral choice. If people want to feel superior towards me, then I feel sorry for them, honestly. What a pinching dry way to be.

I used to regularly see a man begging outside the Morrisons in the local retail park. He used to strum a guitar and had a Jack Russell, which was in very good condition.
One day a man pulled up in a "posh" car, approached the beggar and asked for the "takings". He then picked up the dog, and drove it to the other side of the retail park and handed it to someone begging outside Poundstretchers.
The next time I saw him was on TV, talking about his ordeal at the hands of the Rooney family, jailed for modern day slavery.
Who are any of us to judge people on the streets.

I get the feeling that those who go on about “scammers” are the same ones who are dismayed and shocked that generally speaking, Big Issue sellers are not on the streets

I never said I thought they were all scammers. I'd rather lend and be wrong than them be telling the truth and not have anything.

My story was more just a warning to perhaps be a little bit careful. That sometimes being kind can back fire a little and to not let the situation get out of hand.

Not saying this happens every time. But as with anyone else you dont truly know anybody or what they are capable of.

I've gotten myself into trouble at work on more than one occasion trying to help people out and sadly did end up creating a situation that started to affect the other members of staff and cause problems.

Ultimately the blame likes with the government. If they are going to do something do it properly. Get them.help/clean,.teach them how to run a home, etc dont just give them a flat or release them.from.prison straight back out to the crowd that got them.there in the first place. Get them properly set up so the
poor buggers stand a chance.

Some of the privilege on this post is disgusting.

If a human being feels like the only way they can earn some sort of living is by degrading themselves begging, then they need that £2 a damn sight more than I do.

What's the saying, something like "I'd rather be an optimist and a fool than a pessimist and right"

I work with the homeless as a volunteer so, advance warning to all, I don't need to do virtue-signalling.

Every time you give a beggar cash round these parts you are paying the wages of someone who runs a people-trafficking business.

Where I live, in the centre of the capital city, 90 per cent of the time you give cash to beggars it goes straight into the pockets of organised crime - slavery or drugs. Maybe 99 per cent.

These are disgusting businesses - I hope you have no idea what goes on. I wish I had no idea, believe me. You might have got a glimpse after that lorry in Essex had its fridge opened last week. 39 dead bodies. How much of that was funded by the trusting British public?

Nice thought, isn't it. It's not all migrants making upfront payments to the traffickers - slave traders use the takings from previous 'imports' to fund the next trip.

Stop funding human slavery. Direct Debits to the Salvation Army or Shelter work.

Does it really matter if you give someone £1.00 and they aren't homeless? Just skint? Reminds me of that Billy Connelly sketch about the silly woman not buying a Big Issue because the vendor was smoking. As long as you don't give more than you can afford what difference does it make🙄

Lois, here it does as the beggars are either organised gangs from london, or local drug addicts wanting drug money. They also tend to be aggressive beggars & cause a lot of bad feeling which is then passed on to the genuine homeless here, who tend to be a lot more low key. The many charities & individuals helping the genuine homeless here say not to give money to the aggressive beggars & to donate to those helping them instead

rockin It could well depend the area. I noticed in Liverpool lots of young local men possibly ex armed forces or care leavers, but in Glasgow and London I did see many eastern European women begging who I'm guessing are being controlled by someone. I still think it's very hard to just walk by if they are only asking for a couple of quid but I take your point, maybe it's not so harmless.

You're probably right about it been dependent on area. I think it's a city problem rather than nationwide.

And it is a tough one. We recently had a good friend stranded in Malaysia after having his bank account cleaned out by fraud in Thailand. He was sleeping rough for weeks as he was too proud to let his friends know that his new idilic life had gone tits up in a big way. He survived by begging & sleeping rough. Thank god for the people who were kind to him. But in the other hand another old friend ended up on the streets due to a heroin addiction & died from an overdose night with money given by kind strangers. It's the addicts here who are the most prolific & aggressive beggars though, they all have homes. Local genuine homeless people hate them as they get them a bad name. We have a smattering if professional begging gangs showing up from London, but mostly addicts & alcoholics.

It is a tough one. The people who run the Big Issue faced the most grim dilemmas about 10-15 years ago - that's how established organised crime is.

The worst thing is that crooks turn your small kindnesses into serious crime of the most soul-chilling sort. How horrible is that?

I never thought I'd see a world where kindness could be cruelty, but we're all living in it.

Don't be the person who funds someone else's slavery.

If you think I'm being a sanctimonious cow, by all means carry on - I've had a lot worse. That's from telling people traffickers to Fuck Off in the street.

@AnnaNimmity I agree. This is the nastiest I’ve seen mumsnet in a long time.

Of course there are genuine homeless and they sleep on the street or occasionally in night shelters. I think some people don’t want to believe it’s true so they make up this nonsense about all homeless being scammers who have lovely homes of their own.

I’m going to leave this thread now because it’s too upsetting. But OP, the best way to answer your questions is to ask the homeless man himself.

@Supersimkin2
Not sanctimonious at all. You clearly have a lot of knowledge. My post yesterday in response the nastier posts on the subject. I stand by my opinion that I will take people as I find them and use my gut instinct but youre absolutely right that these gangs are abhorrent and I will think twice before I blindly give money.

@Supersimkin2 - that's really interesting. Thank you for that. It's not something I'd actually considered might be an underlying factor. I'll definitely consider donating to a homeless charity instead.

And yet those of us who have actually lived on the streets are saying, your 20p or 50p all adds up. Usually I had enough to buy me a 2L bottle of cider from Lidl and a pouch of tobacco when I had collected £6. That was my humiliation done for the day. Sometimes it took an hour, sometimes 2, to collect that. But that's all you wanted. Sanitary products cost money too. So you had to beg for that money. It was humiliating. No-one ever gave me a beer (some other homeless would share what they had), but I was once given 2 cigarettes and 20p in a little cellophane bag by a dear old lady. She probably gave them out to anyone she saw. I lived on the streets in Tottenham area - so rough and not wealthy. People were generous. Maybe 1 in every 100 who passed you by would stop and give you change. Another surprising thing to me was that white people rarely gave, where as black people (particularly young black males) did. It was quite the eye opener.

So many appalling comments showing such little understanding.

We live in a medium sized south coast town. Homelessness is a huge problem.
There is a winter night shelter which rotates each night between different churches. There are just 12 spaces on first come first basis. If you don't get in you're on the streets - there are no other options.
Through my work in the community I meet people desperate for housing - if you don't have children even with a local connection it can take literally years to get social housing. Even with children it's not much better - I've met families that have spent 2-3 years squeezed into sub standard temporary housing. There are so few affordable private rents available locally & we just aren't building enough social housing. The housing crisis is not a figment of anyone's imagination.

I have seen beggars round me swap shifts, is that normal.

I dropped money other week and spotted, my local community decided to hound me up the street as I picked up my own money, as apparently it was Thier mates.

They meet up on a bench to divide spoils.