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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...about homeless man outside our shop.

137 replies

Ashamed2BFeeling · 29/10/2019 14:36

Less of an AIBU and more WWYD.

Every night for the past few weeks, what we assume is a homeless man has been sitting outside the convenience store where I work. We're open till late and have a couple of pubs and a chippy right on our doorstep so have people coming in and out all night.

So we frequently have people coming in buying him food which is great to see. In fact yesterday, someone went to the chippy and bought him a portion of chips that he had to give away because someone an hour ago had already bought him chips and gravy!

A very kind lady came by just last night with a thick regatta coat and a new pair of trainers for him.

We make him a cup of tea when we're doing one and stuff but now and again, we'll get people coming in buying him beer that he's asked for. Not great but he's not causing any hassle. We've not had any complaints from customers, more concern than anything else.

But at the end of the night when we go to close up shop, he's always left. And while this is late, it's not the middle of the night or anything. I don't know where he goes.

Basically, is there something we can do for him, someone we can call? It's great that people are happy to feed him (and I'm hoping that doesn't sound patronising), but I'd love it if we could help him find a more long term solution.

Any suggestions are gratefully received.

OP posts:
OnlyTheTitOfTheIceberg · 29/10/2019 17:09

Talk to him, OP. He might be unaware of the local services or there might be a reason they can't help him, in which case it will save you some effort in contacting them and you can focus on practical small things that might help instead.

We used to help support a homeless man in the city where we used to live, and he said that while he was always grateful for any help people wanted to give, it made such a difference when people asked if he had any preference (e.g. how he took his coffee or what flavour sandwich filling he preferred) because it reminded him that he was still a person with likes and dislikes just like anyone else.

79andnotout · 29/10/2019 17:16

Yeah it's really bad in Manchester these days @TinklyLittleLaugh. So many people in quite a bad state.

middlemuddle · 29/10/2019 17:18

This thread just put the nail in the coffin for my time on Mumsnet I think. Abhorrent responses.

Kidlacky · 29/10/2019 17:18

How lovely to hear this. Brilliant. I have a boat sitting there and i think i should go and find a homeless person and just let him use it. You know what, because of this, when its cold, thats exactly what im gonna do , and i,ll clean his mess up . What can you do? DONT VOTE TORY.

middlemuddle · 29/10/2019 17:19

There's lots of homeless in Manchester yes it's really sad and has hugely increased in the 10 years I've been here. I wonder why....

Massive Spice problem too. I don't blame them for wanting an escape though.

Bobbybobbins · 29/10/2019 17:24

@Witchend

Yes I do understand that!

I am shocked at some of the comments on here about 'professional beggars' etc which were not relevant to the OP's question.

SarahTancredi · 29/10/2019 17:30

Not everyone who begs is homeless

Several where I live have already told me they have been housed spend all day outside getting drunk taking drugs and begging. We have one or two who come in for money bags and count out all their change.

One in particular always has a story, someone stole her stuff, some one burnt her stuff , shes just got out of hospital needs 3 more pounds for a room for a night etc harassed everyone who walks past her

However there is no way of knowing if they are really homeless or not. Thanks to all the frauds out there .

Maybe get in touch with the local council see if there a donation station for clothing etc.

SarahTancredi · 29/10/2019 17:45

Just remembered also, some churches do stuff . Might be worth asking your local.churches find out if they do a drop in/shower/ coffee thing.

Then you can tell him about it.

FizzyIce · 29/10/2019 17:57

We have one near us who has sucked in so many people including me .. turns out he’s a nasty ,woman beater who spends his money on drugs and then fucks off back to his flat with all the lovely free food and cash well meaning people have given him.
If you’re on Facebook you can check your community page and see if anyone knows who he is as we have charity that feeds the homeless and can give shelter so we have the phone number from there

SarahTancredi · 29/10/2019 18:11

It's so hard isnt it fizzy

I've had so many I used to let sit in work ti keep warm I made them tea and coffee let them charge their phones, use the toilets and chat to them.

Theres only a couple allowed in now as all the rest have been abusive, refused to leave, I've witnessed them assult a traffic warden , police officers, they attack each other on a regular basis, try and flog you stuff they have stolen, . They have left drug paraphernalia in the toilets, on a couple of occasions.i honestly have felt in danger due to the abusive ness and had to lock the door. One even pissed up the door in.full view of staff and customers.

Things got so bad there are areas where the seating has been removed as the police spent all day every day confiscating alcohol and trying to move them on.

I dont know anymore who's real and who's not

MyGoodTimes · 29/10/2019 18:12

"Hardly any genuine homeless"
Yeah, tell that to the families of the homeless people who have died on the streets recently. I certainly hope the homeless drug addicts I see on the streets are faking it, but sadly I doubt they are. Sad

BritishHorrorStory · 29/10/2019 18:15

@Witchend
hallohallohallo or child. Used to see that quite a bit with the professional beggars in Oxford. Then they'd be picked up at the end of the day in the posh car.

Back to their HMO with 16 others living in a 2 bedroom house

Zebraaa · 29/10/2019 18:51

Blooming hell, I might do this tonight. Starving so if I go and sit outside the chippy I’ll get free food all night and I’ll ask for a can of coke too.

Sonders · 29/10/2019 18:51

Jeez, this is so sad. There's a population the size of Cardiff that is homeless, but we shouldn't supporting any because someone somewhere once saw one beggar getting into a posh car.

OP, call Streetlink or just ask the guy a couple of questions to see if he'd like any help that you can offer - and thank you for being kind enough to ask for advice Flowers

lynsey91 · 29/10/2019 19:06

@Zebraaa yes you go and get a free meal and coffee. I hope after that you enjoy sleeping on the pavement in the cold and then in the morning trying to find a loo and somewhere to have a wash. clean your teeth etc.

It's not a bloody joke being homeless

YouJustDoYou · 29/10/2019 19:48

It's not a bloody joke being homeless

^^This. The heartless nastiness on here is shocking. Those posters should be fucking ashamed of themselves for making a joke out of it.

Drabarni · 29/10/2019 20:26

Just picking up on the Manchester point.
My dd boards there and has found a shop where you buy a bag (kilo) of clothes for a tenner.
She regularly spends her pocket money donating clothes to the homeless. I tell her to be careful, but it falls on deaf ears sometimes.
I'll post the name and street when i speak to her in a bit. She used to speak to the man who was outside the arena and was really upset when she found out what he'd done. Sad
Please don't leave bags in Piccadilly garden or the gardens round the cathedral. Give directly to the charity or the homeless themselves.

Drabarni · 29/10/2019 20:29

Zebraaa

If you are really starving, with no money then I suggest you do.

Otherwise, if you aren't, I hope you are ashamed at how you turned out.

KatieHack · 29/10/2019 20:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TricklBOO · 29/10/2019 20:43

Zebraaa - great idea. Think of the fun you'll have being verbally or possibly physically abused, risk being sexually assaulted. It'll go lovely a bag of chips and a can.

minesagin37 · 29/10/2019 20:49

@Newoneonherr you represent everything that is wrong with the world. What a lovely human being you are. You must be so proud!

Drabarni · 29/10/2019 21:00

The Manchester shop is just called "The Kilo Shop" doesn't know the street name but near Afflecks.
I'm proud the money goes to the shop and not all spent in Afflecks.

Croquembou · 29/10/2019 21:05

MN as compassionate as ever tonight.

But on the dog topic, my dog couldn't care less about being wet. Because he's a dog. Also cold. Because he's a dog. Unlike people who care a lot about being cold and wet.

Zacjosh · 29/10/2019 21:14

Is this Spital?

GameChange123 · 29/10/2019 21:17

Often foreign homeless (including non UK EU citizens) cannot get support. Most UK homeless would have some recourse and access to hostel &local authority help but often need to prove a local connection. A bloke sits outside our local chippy but he lives in supported living around the corner. He goes outside to beg smoke drink beer and usually looks like he is on some street drugs. He goes back when the chip shop shuts (before 11pm). Have seen some very dishlevelled Latvian and Lithuanian lads who i think sleep.in the park. It breaks my heart. 😢

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