To think moms of premature babies should get extended maternity leave?

[Neverbroken]

Just wanted to know what the view on this is.
I’m absolutely dreading the thought of going back to work when baby is still so small, I feel cheated of the time I should have had being able to bond with her because I was back & forth to the hospital. The whole experience was draining, really frustrating. Sometimes I would just feel in the way or like I was a disruption. I know I’ll never get those weeks back and it feels like going back to work is just around the corner.

I do understand the problems with premature babies. 45 years ago living in Canada the allotted maternity leave was from 4 weeks before birth and 6 weeks after - very stingy IMO. My son was born at 36 weeks the Monday after I left work (expecting to have another 4 weeks before due date. ) All the maternity leave (statutory) I received was the 6 weeks after birth instead of 10 weeks total.

I think the UK is very generous with maternity leave by comparison - especially some employers who pay far more than the statutory amount.

@Beaverdam okay are we just going to ignore the fact that you can’t even hold your baby for a while first? Or that when you are trying to bond you’re interrupted by x-rays (which you need to leave the room for), nurses taking obs, doctors doing ward round, machines that when you pick your baby up begin beeping and alarming loudly so nurses tell you to put your own baby down, a demanding expressing schedule, finding time to eat (which you also leave the room for) and sleep yourself between calling, visiting and expressing, still getting things ready at home, leaving the room to make a phone call, leaving the room for handover. A couple of times the toilet for parents on the ward broke meaning you had to leave the ward every time and go and use the toilet so you’re washing your hands a minimum of 4 times - on leave of the ward, when you use the toilet, on entry back into the ward, on entry into the room your baby is in. So imagine you do manage to get baby out successfully with all the wires etc then you need the toilet? Imagine you get your baby out and there’s an X-ray in the room this can happen many times a day. Oh also factor in the visiting policy which is parents to the baby 24 hours, grandparents & siblings to the child 12-7. Which makes your time very lonely when that is the time you could do with some support more than ever. My mom is dead it took them weeks to allow a nominated person (my aunty) to be able to visit us.

Oh wait sorry then there are days when you need to be transferred to other hospitals, we stayed in 3.

@neverbroken I could have written your post

It's a hard line to draw but what about parents of sick children? My sister spent months in hospital when she was five, should there be parental leave for older sick children?

This is something that individual companies could look into.

Decades ago I was involved in drafting a health and safety policy, it involved looking at other things that were not directly in the policy such as when someone has a stillbirth.

The hospital that I worked for at the time allowed for up to 5 years unpaid leave for any reason (you could not work elsewhere though) as long as it was approved and they also offered ALL posts as job shares, pretty good for the 1980s. I think you had to be in post for a number of years before the absence, some people used it to be a SAHP for a year or two, others to go back to uni.

I suppose some women do get longer ML if their baby is born before their ML has started.

I'm so sorry for your situation op, I realised how you feel cheated of those precious early days.

But adminstratively wouldn't this be really difficult? My dad was 17 days over due date but was poorly when he was born and spent a while in hospital. Would you deduct 17 days from the end of my leave because he was late, then add extra days for the time spent in hospital?

My friend finished up work and had her baby next day, 4 weeks early, but he could go straight home, no issues so has had 4 weeks longer with her baby than she expected too. Would you deduct time fro. Her mat leave because he was early but healthy and home?

It's a hard line to draw but what about parents of sick children? My sister spent months in hospital when she was five, should there be parental leave for older sick children?*

Parental leave (up to a year, I think) already exists for such cases.

I've just looked up unpaid parental leave on HMRC:

"Eligible employees can take unpaid parental leave to look after their child’s welfare, eg to:
• spend more time with their children
• look at new schools
• settle children into new childcare arrangements
• spend more time with family, such as visiting grandparents
Their employment rightss_ (like the right to pay, holidays and returning to a job) are protected during parental leave."

But only if you give 21 days notice, have worked for the company more than a year and don't take more than 18 weeks a year.