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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I can say what I want on my own personal Facebook page

102 replies

kazzy1988 · 28/10/2019 18:09

I live in a a small costal town which is mostly seasonal, my dh works in a very popular and busy fish takeaway so when the kids are off this is his most busiest time, eg during the summer we see him 1 day a week, the rest he's working at least 10 hours days. I used to work with him but quit a few years ago as working so much and trying to bring up our dc was getting to much, became a running joke that we saw more of the dc during the winter rather then summer hols, he's not allowed anytime off during school holidays. I now work part-time in a pub and only work school hours, so have every weekend off, my boss rang me today asking me what I would like to work over Christmas and new year as she know I like to spend it with my dc, I didn't mind what I worked just not Xmas day, she said she would cover my Christmas shifts if I could work new years day, I agreed as we don't go out for new years and I'm not a drinker so wouldn't be hangover anyway, after the phonecall I just put on my own Facebook that having such a nice boss who understood how important my dc are to me and will always bendover backwards to make sure I'm there for them is such a nice thing to have and is so rare these days. I didn't tag my dh in the post but I still have a few people who work with my dh on fb as they are still quite a big part of my life, well my dh rang me asking me to take the post down as his boss had seen it and was having a hissy fit saying that was was putting him down and saying it looks like he doesn't treat dh with respect or let him have time off, well in the truth he's doesn't let dh have time off with the kids, he even kicked off the other week when dh took a week off, trying to say they were too busy and he would have to work all weekend, the whole point of having a week off was to spend the weekend with the dc as he hadn't seen them all summer but the boss had 2 weekend off during the summer to spend with the dc even tho they are older teenagers were ours dc are all under 10,
Aibu in refusing to take the post down, it has nothing to do with my dh and his work and purely me saying how grateful I am for having such a nice and understanding boss,

OP posts:

Ellisandra · 28/10/2019 18:13

It’s a bit sycophantic to gush about your boss on Facebook, rather than directly telling them you appreciate them. So I can see why your husband’s boss is taking it as a dig.

formerbabe · 28/10/2019 18:15

Just take it down... whether your dh is right or wrong in how your post might be perceived it's clearly causing him some anxiety

MereDintofPandiculation · 28/10/2019 18:18

Is your DHs boss a facebook friend? In which case you should have considered his reaction before posting. If not, how did he see the post?

JacquesHammer · 28/10/2019 18:19

Just take it down. It isn’t worth causing such angst.

If you’d like to comment on how lovely your boss is, sending her a message would be more appropriate.

Digitalash · 28/10/2019 18:20

It's upsetting your husband I would just take it down.

JustHereWithPopcorn · 28/10/2019 18:21

It is a bit weird to post that on fb YABU.

coconuttelegraph · 28/10/2019 18:22

Why would you make necessary hassle for your husband? No one needs to do that.

Mwahahahaaaa · 28/10/2019 18:23

Do you have your boss on Facebook? Because it would come off a bit odd to her if she has seen it and then you delete it...

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 28/10/2019 18:26

I think we all have to be careful what we post online, and how it could be perceived by someone else. Now obviously you can post what you like, but it doesn’t mean you should. I don’t know whether what you posted was meant to have a passive aggressive undertone towards your husband’s boss, but can see how it could read that way (especially as there is clearly some resentment on your part). I’d take it down if it’s causing him problems.

MrsMaiselsMuff · 28/10/2019 18:34

You're free to post what you want to, but you take the consequences that may go with it. If partner's boss takes your posting to be a passive aggressive dig at them (I can see why they would), that may cause problems for your partner at work.

StabMeReapers · 28/10/2019 18:39

Seriously? His boss thinks it’s a dig at him? He needs to grow the fuck up.

ChoccieEClaire · 28/10/2019 18:41

If you're honest with yourself I bet you put that on Facebook as a dig at your husbands boss.
You didnt need to do it and you knew the impact it would have.
Your DH knows the score with when he is expected, if he doesn't like it then find another job!

Bigbigboots · 28/10/2019 18:42

It is an annoying post on many levels. You can put up what you want but it may be wise to take it down as you presumably don't want to cause trouble for your DH at his work.

Littlemeadow123 · 28/10/2019 18:43

Your DH's boss is being very unreasonable. Even if you were having a dig, that is no reason to have a go at your husband.

In terms of the post, I would take it down just because he might continue to make life hard for your DH if you don't.

Beesandcheese · 28/10/2019 18:43

Touched a nerve with the boss no doubt. But apparently he thinks you both sit around bit ching about work . Couldn't you edit it to some vaguebook "feeling blessed"

Cohle · 28/10/2019 18:43

I don't think this is the time to stand on your rights. Clearly it's causing your DH problems at work, so why not just take it down?

Butterisbest · 28/10/2019 18:46

Your husband's boss knows he's a shit boss, that's why he's kicking off. Although as it's causing grief for your husband I'd take it down.

Reallybadidea · 28/10/2019 18:47

It's a fairly standard Facebook post IMO. I mean I don't understand why people post that kind of thing cos it doesn't achieve much, but it's pretty common from what I can tell.

TabbyMumz · 28/10/2019 18:47

Saying these sorts of things can always come across as a dig against someone else, whether on purpose or not. It's quite childish really.

gamerwidow · 28/10/2019 18:49

You don't have to take it down but why make life hard for your DH at work if you don't have to.
You know your DH's job means he is unavailable during school holidays it's hard but that's what the job is. When his boss takes his holidays is neither here nor there. He owns the business and can take whatever holiday he wants unfortunately.

Iamnotagoddess · 28/10/2019 18:49

OMG the paragraph is your friend here.

I never post on FB about mine or my husbands work.

AlohaMolly · 28/10/2019 18:49

In theory, yes, you can post whatever you like on your personal FB. It doesn’t always work like that in practice though, and if I’d posted something that caused my DP grief at work, I’d take it down.

I have taken FB off my phone now, because I posted photos of my 3yo and said what a lovely summer we had... a friend of PIL posted a rant about how my PIL didn’t feature and they did so much for us, I should be ashamed and I’m ungrateful

Nottobesoldseparately · 28/10/2019 18:50

Take it down and replace it with

'Truth Hurts'

BumbleBeee69 · 28/10/2019 18:51

So the Post hit your DH's boss right where it hurts, in the truthful knackers ... why does you Husband never get any time off WTF ?!

Ellisandra · 28/10/2019 18:51

The summer working, by the way... of the job is clearly offered with a restriction on holiday in peak periods, it is neither here nor there that the boss had time off. It’s his business. Those are his benefits. I have to work Xmas Day this year, my boss doesn’t. But he put in his hard graft and shit hours creating the business - and he recruited me so he didn’t have to do the rubbish shifts any more. Fair dos.

Messing him about over a week off recently is another matter.

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