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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I can say what I want on my own personal Facebook page

102 replies

kazzy1988 · 28/10/2019 18:09

I live in a a small costal town which is mostly seasonal, my dh works in a very popular and busy fish takeaway so when the kids are off this is his most busiest time, eg during the summer we see him 1 day a week, the rest he's working at least 10 hours days. I used to work with him but quit a few years ago as working so much and trying to bring up our dc was getting to much, became a running joke that we saw more of the dc during the winter rather then summer hols, he's not allowed anytime off during school holidays. I now work part-time in a pub and only work school hours, so have every weekend off, my boss rang me today asking me what I would like to work over Christmas and new year as she know I like to spend it with my dc, I didn't mind what I worked just not Xmas day, she said she would cover my Christmas shifts if I could work new years day, I agreed as we don't go out for new years and I'm not a drinker so wouldn't be hangover anyway, after the phonecall I just put on my own Facebook that having such a nice boss who understood how important my dc are to me and will always bendover backwards to make sure I'm there for them is such a nice thing to have and is so rare these days. I didn't tag my dh in the post but I still have a few people who work with my dh on fb as they are still quite a big part of my life, well my dh rang me asking me to take the post down as his boss had seen it and was having a hissy fit saying that was was putting him down and saying it looks like he doesn't treat dh with respect or let him have time off, well in the truth he's doesn't let dh have time off with the kids, he even kicked off the other week when dh took a week off, trying to say they were too busy and he would have to work all weekend, the whole point of having a week off was to spend the weekend with the dc as he hadn't seen them all summer but the boss had 2 weekend off during the summer to spend with the dc even tho they are older teenagers were ours dc are all under 10,
Aibu in refusing to take the post down, it has nothing to do with my dh and his work and purely me saying how grateful I am for having such a nice and understanding boss,

OP posts:

Original poster

kazzy1988 · 28/10/2019 18:51

No I don't have him on my fb I can't stand the man, I do have my boss on fb and had tagged her in, the post literally just said, I'm happy I have such a understanding boss and can now plan my Christmas, I spent 12 years working for this man and everything had to be about him, even when me and dh got married we had to have a winter wedding because he wouldn't let us have a week off together otherwise, when I had my dc he kicked off about paying maternity pay even tho I had worked 40+ hours every week for 5 years

OP posts:

Butchyrestingface · 28/10/2019 18:53

So you have both your boss and your husband’s boss friends on FB?

Or is your husband’s boss friends with your husband on FB and you tagged your husband in the post?

CircleofWillis · 28/10/2019 18:54

Oh He used to be your boss as well. No wonder he saw it as a dog at him because it is really isn't it? He had no right to ask you to take it down. He should have just inwardly steamed or written a post about it on mumsnet. However - if it causing your husband grief I would just take it down.

Butchyrestingface · 28/10/2019 18:56

No I don't have him on my fb I can't stand the man

Cross post. How did he see the post then? Is he stalking you or did you tag your husband in it why?

How did your boss react? Not every employer would like their employees telling all and sundry what specific working arrangements they’ve made with them.

Original poster

kazzy1988 · 28/10/2019 19:00

No don't have dh boss on fb and didn't tag my dh, have a few of my dh colleagues on there who are like family so must have seen it though them. He doesn't own the business he's the manager and my dh is the assistant manager, the owner come in the morning says hi then leaves, tho I do get on with him, he was gutted when I left and did ask for me stay but the hours were too much with a young family and even part time there would have meant 10 days twice a week and I know the boss would had asked me to do more and more shifts so the best thing was to leave,
My dh has said he doesn't care if I take the post down hes used to the boss having a fit over something (normally at least once a week)

OP posts:

SaddleGhost · 28/10/2019 19:04

If your DH doesn't care then you shouldn't care. Seems like something and nothing really. Meh.

tinytoez · 28/10/2019 19:05

Just remove it.

lonelyonee · 28/10/2019 19:10

Clearly the show fits and that's why your DHs boss is so annoyed. Little bit concerning that a grown man is offended by a status that is LITERALLY about someone else.
Massive eye rolls from over here! But tbh if your DH feels like it's an issue for him at work (could create more problems for him) best to take it down, or even better find the spies and give them the chop!
I do agree though it's your page and you can post whatever you like!

BlueJava · 28/10/2019 19:10

YABU why on earth would you leave it there and cause trouble for your DH? I appreciate you didn't write it withhim in mind... but I can't see any gain in leaving it there.

lonelyonee · 28/10/2019 19:11

Sorry meant to put SHOE

Lovewinemorethanhusband · 28/10/2019 19:14

If leave it there and wouldn't care to be honest, he's annoyed because he knows it's true !

1forAll74 · 28/10/2019 19:14

Just delete it now, but it's a bit too late now really if your Husband has got an iffy type boss. I think putting personal stuff on FB, is sometimes asking for problems.

BloggersBlog · 28/10/2019 19:14

@Iamnotagoddess
OMG the paragraph is your friend here.

ChaosMoon · 28/10/2019 19:15

In principle, you can do what you like, but freedom of speech is not the same as freedom from the ramifications of what you say.

It's the man a small minded idiot? Almost certainly. But is this more about him or supporting your DH? If it really isn't a dig, take it down for you DH. If it is a dig, own it.

yellowallpaper · 28/10/2019 19:15

I'd leave it up and block DHs boss. Re check you security settings and post whatever you like on your own page. If you want to say nice things about your boss why on earth shouldn't you?

greypetex · 28/10/2019 19:16

It's all a bit weird. I'm a grown up though. I can't ever imagine posting ridiculous gushy shit about my boss on Facebook. Just delete it?

ffswhatnext · 28/10/2019 19:17

I wouldn't take it down. So what if his boss feels its aimed at him. Any boss who gets someone to work 10 hours a day 6 days a week should feel like a shit boss.
The hubby would be reminded the years of being told what to do thankfully are long behind us, and he doesn't control what you post no matter how gushy.

The only time I care what any really posts is when it's racist, promoting abuse, disablist etc.

NarwhalsNarwhals · 28/10/2019 19:19

I would just add Edit: this is not a post criticising other bosses, I'm just saying I really appreciate my boss, apologies for any offence caused

Obviously that will not make it better at all but it would amuse me.

Tooearlyforadrink · 28/10/2019 19:20

I would cringe at that status. Like just tell your boss how much you appreciate her ... why does everyone else need to know?

MintyMabel · 28/10/2019 19:21

My dh has said he doesn't care if I take the post down hes used to the boss having a fit over something

So why did he ask you to take it down?

ThatMuppetShow · 28/10/2019 19:23

why would you make your DH harder in any way?
Take it down, who cares.

Princesspaperbag · 28/10/2019 19:24

Has your dh been looking for another job?

I’d take it down as I wouldn’t want to cause trouble for dh.

DisgruntledGuineaPig · 28/10/2019 19:29

Take it down.

Then sit your dh down and ask him to seriously look for another job. The job he has does not fit in with family life. Obviously he might not be able to find something else, but he should try.

Interestedwoman · 28/10/2019 19:29

I don't think you said anything wrong, but maybe take it down if the wanker is getting worked up over it. xx

xraytangocharlie · 28/10/2019 19:31

I spent 12 years working for this man

Ah. Oh. That's it then, isn't it? You worked for him for years, and you are now praising your lovely new boss to the skies for doing all the things that he didn't.

Surely you must realise that this comes across as a passive-agressive dig at him. I'd take it down if I were you.

I'd take it down if I were you

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