Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

I can say what I want on my own personal Facebook page

102 replies

kazzy1988 · 28/10/2019 18:09

I live in a a small costal town which is mostly seasonal, my dh works in a very popular and busy fish takeaway so when the kids are off this is his most busiest time, eg during the summer we see him 1 day a week, the rest he's working at least 10 hours days. I used to work with him but quit a few years ago as working so much and trying to bring up our dc was getting to much, became a running joke that we saw more of the dc during the winter rather then summer hols, he's not allowed anytime off during school holidays. I now work part-time in a pub and only work school hours, so have every weekend off, my boss rang me today asking me what I would like to work over Christmas and new year as she know I like to spend it with my dc, I didn't mind what I worked just not Xmas day, she said she would cover my Christmas shifts if I could work new years day, I agreed as we don't go out for new years and I'm not a drinker so wouldn't be hangover anyway, after the phonecall I just put on my own Facebook that having such a nice boss who understood how important my dc are to me and will always bendover backwards to make sure I'm there for them is such a nice thing to have and is so rare these days. I didn't tag my dh in the post but I still have a few people who work with my dh on fb as they are still quite a big part of my life, well my dh rang me asking me to take the post down as his boss had seen it and was having a hissy fit saying that was was putting him down and saying it looks like he doesn't treat dh with respect or let him have time off, well in the truth he's doesn't let dh have time off with the kids, he even kicked off the other week when dh took a week off, trying to say they were too busy and he would have to work all weekend, the whole point of having a week off was to spend the weekend with the dc as he hadn't seen them all summer but the boss had 2 weekend off during the summer to spend with the dc even tho they are older teenagers were ours dc are all under 10,
Aibu in refusing to take the post down, it has nothing to do with my dh and his work and purely me saying how grateful I am for having such a nice and understanding boss,

OP posts:

xraytangocharlie · 28/10/2019 19:32

Repeating myself, sorry!

thisneverendingsummer · 28/10/2019 19:35

@kazzy1988

Well, in some ways you should be able to post what you want on your own FB, and if others don't like t they can unfollow or unfriend.

I get massively pissed off with a few of my FB folk occasionally, but have just unfollowed.

However, in this case, if your husband is upset, then I would say you should move it. Although having said that, they genie's out of the bottle now as your DH's boss has seen it.

Posting a suck-up message about your boss was a bit weird also tbh. Does seem very sycophantic.

BlueMoon1103 · 28/10/2019 19:35

You don’t have to take it down. YANBU.

bloodywhitecat · 28/10/2019 19:42

Anything to do with your or your partner's employment is best kept off Facebook.

MitziK · 28/10/2019 19:46

You can post what you like - but don't be surprised if your DH gets fired for it.

Chip Shops aren't well renowned for secure employment with HR departments to ensure employees are protected from dismissal or having their hours dropped down to 0-3 hours a week.

Can you afford to pay all the bills if this happens? You won't get UC because he'll have been fired. He won't get a reference. Jobs aren't that easy to come by in coastal towns, especially in the winter season.

Gottagetout · 28/10/2019 19:57

I would take it down, but only because the silly little man has the power to make your DHs life hell.
It's utterly ridiculous, but seems a well supported view that employers own their employees, and not just their employees but families too now! What next, child posts how they've had a great day with dad on his day off this week and told to take it down because it might reflect badly on the boss for only giving one day off? Why does it bother him so much that you have a good relationship with your boss? If you'd posted something like 'unlike my old boss' or 'unlike my DH boss' then I could see his point.

CymaticPrincess88 · 28/10/2019 19:57

If the boot fits!! My rule on FB is if you think my status is about you, it probably is and you can suck on it (childish I know)

Original poster

kazzy1988 · 28/10/2019 20:10

Would love him to try and fire him, he's already under staffed because of his behaviour, most people last a month see what he's like and leave, plus like I said he's the manager not owner so I would think the owner would step in then, dh has never had a warning of any kind so we would have a case for unfair dismissal, he could cut his hours but then boss would have to do 7 days a week to cover that and there's no way he would as he moans about doing 5 days (he normally does 4) he's apparently retireing after next summer so only a year to go.

He's had it in for me since I had dd1 because I was off for the summer she was born July and refused to go back for the school hols then go off again, hes got such a power head and if he says jump your supposed to say how high, dh loves his job, other staff and the customer so is just sticking it out till he goes, he will then be in charge,

OP posts:

notso · 28/10/2019 20:14

OMG the paragraph is your friend here.

You can post what you like within the rules of Facebook, however that doesn't mean everyone will like what you post too.
People love to create drama.

EggysMom · 28/10/2019 20:18

My rule on FB is if you think my status is about you, it probably is and you can suck on it (childish I know)

That made me sing You're so vain, you probably think this post is about you ...

LolaSmiles · 28/10/2019 20:23

To be honest I would struggle not to see that sort of post as anything other than a passive aggressive dig.

It's like when someone out of a bad relationship gets a new one and posts about how amazing it is to be truly appreciated and made to feel special. Yeah, we get it your new fella is better than your ex.

Just because you can post on social media doesn't mean you always should. There's absolutely zero need to post on social media about your work/boss etc in my opinion.

joffreyscoffees · 28/10/2019 20:25

It's a bloody weird thing to put on Facebook..

Charm23 · 28/10/2019 20:51

I think it just shows the boss has a guilty conscience about how little time your DH gets off to see his children and it's made them feel bad when reality it's nothing to do with them. Having said that, I'd probably take it down just in case it causes issues for your DH/costs him his job. Shame though because like you said you should be able to say what you want pretty much.

inwood · 28/10/2019 21:01

Grown ups don't do shite lake that o Facebook. Just take it down.

Cuddling57 · 28/10/2019 21:11

@Nottobesoldseparately
Take it down and replace it with

'Truth Hurts'

😂

LolaSmiles · 28/10/2019 21:20

Charm23
Or the boss has a seasonal business and part of working a seasonal business is that you have your staff working at those times.

You wouldn't get a job in a B&B in Cornwall and then complain about not getting time off in August.

Grown ups don't do shite lake that o Facebook.
Too right. I never get it when people post work stuff on social media and then seek surprised that work care what's on social media, or post quite obvious loaded comments and then say "oh but I wasn't talking about anyone in particular".
I've got a friend who does that. She's also fond of "true friends" statuses, "you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best", "if you think my status is about you then you've got a guilty conscience". It's tiresome and part of the reason why we've gradually drifted. Grown adults don't behave like that

LemonPrism · 28/10/2019 22:16

I think it's v weird of the boss tbh. Who is that narcissistic to think his employees wife is posting sly digs at him😂

I'd take it down for the peace but what an oddball

ffswhatnext · 28/10/2019 22:31

If she takes it down though he will still be offended because he knew he was right and it was about him.

Anoisagusaris · 28/10/2019 22:35

I’m mortified for you, what an embarrassing thing to put on fb. Just text your boss to tell her how much you appreciate her.

LolaSmiles · 28/10/2019 23:09

lemon
It's not narcissistic to see through those sorts of posts on social media. It's fairly obvious even when you're not involved in the situation.

Someone leaves one job and posts a gushing post about great their manager is and how wonderful it is to be appreciated is very clearly a dig at their last place of work (especially if you're aware they didn't part on good terms or didn't agree on things).
Just like someone posting about how wonderful it is to be treated well and to finally feel loved and wanted, new photo of their new boyfriend etc is fairly obviously a dig at their ex.
Someone posting about how great it is to have true friends in their life, then tagging a select few when the world knows there's beef between them and someone they were previously close to screams passive aggressive.

They're all dressed up as "just saying something nice" but it's so obviously silly Facebook drama llama behaviour (usually followed by some drama where someone's read it and taken offence so they'll be ready with the "if you think my status is about you then youre clearly feeling guilty about something").

Yeahnahyeah1 · 28/10/2019 23:18

What a pathetic post, I’m amazed you thought anyone would find that remotely interesting, and for goodness sake, just be honest with yourself, it was definitely a dig at your old boss. You’re just miffed you were so transparent when you thought you were being clever

HoliBobber · 29/10/2019 09:44

Wow what a palava over a post. Of course the boss is an idiot.

However you say your husband doesn't care. He isn't actually sticking up for you though saying my wife can post what she wants. Maybe he doesn't want more grief.

So of course you feel undermined. Until he goes you are stuck with him.

I think you just have to be objective. Is it going to cause more grief leaving it up there?

The other thing you can do is change the privacy settings so HE can't see it.

HoliBobber · 29/10/2019 09:46

Posting about how great your life is, is generally annoying on Facebook BTW.

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 29/10/2019 09:47

Time to sort out your privacy settings! Then you can post what you like.

WooomanMoomin · 29/10/2019 10:02

I wouldn’t take it down and can’t understand all of those saying you should. It’s your page, you literally didn’t mention anything about other bosses, so how is that a dig?

Flip

1 2 3 4 5