Help settle an argument between me and DH

[Keepsmiling1]

Slightly lighthearted but can you settle this argument!

I haven't been feeling well the past few days - nothing serious just generally run down. This morning DH got up with the dog at 6am (stupid clocks!) and I stayed upstairs with DDs who got into bed with me. We all got up for breakfast then he decided to take them pumpkin picking to give me a chance to have a rest. He left about 10.30am and was home at 11.40am bringing me flowers and lunch for all of us.

After we'd eaten he made a treasure hunt for DDs and now he's about to carve the pumpkins with them. I thanked him and said I appreciated him letting me have a rest and he said he thinks he's been good today and deserves a blow job tonight.

He was partly joking and knows it's not going to happen but wanted me to put it to the Mumsnet jury to see if he was being unreasonable to expect one? As a side note, I will be taking the girls and dog out later so he can watch the football in peace.

Like I said, it is lighthearted and in no way is he going to be funny or anything for not getting one!

Last time I complained of a sore throat dh offered me some medicine to cure it.
Banter obviously. ..

These kind of jokes don't play well on mumsnet.

The only things that play well on mumsnet are things that involve getting your ducks in a row, leaving the bastard or going off for counselling.

Wow, some tough replies here! It’s a joke, and not an indicator of an abusive relationship... At least unless there’s a massive drip feed coming. He sounds thoughtful, doesn’t sound as though it was more than a hint or as though he wouldn’t do lovely things with the kids without one. For what it’s worth, I always think thoughtfulness (and noticing when your partner needs a break) is very sexy and respond accordingly...

• Last time I complained of a sore throat dh offered me some medicine to cure it. Banter obviously. ..*

I've said that to my wife, I offered to lubricate it. Fortunately she does have a sense of humour.

I personally think, seeing as DH knows about the sore throat, I'm assuming, he wouldn't expect a blowjob, because swallowing ANYTHING is like swallowing glass.
Humour in a relationship is a good thing.

I have got a cold and sore throat but not desperately ill

I hate to sound a cynical note but if that hasn't cleared up in the normal time period, get to the GUM clinic and get tested for oral chlamydia and gonnorhea.

Just saying, given the mention of blow jobs.

@PhilCornwall1 Sorry? You're a man who frequents women-oriented chat boards and you don't know what "mansplaining" is?

'I'm sure Rover will oblige if you ask nicely'

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation - seriously? It's cold / flu season at the moment and you're suggesting OP's DH has given her the clap?

I thanked him and said I appreciated him letting me have a rest

This was your downfall.

You are not well and you thanked him for allowing you to recover.

Crikey, are blowjobs considered rare treats, that wives give to husbands on special occasions or when they’ve been good?

I enjoy them far too much for that kinda weirdness.

Do most women not enjoy blowjobs or something?

I hate to sound a cynical note but if that hasn't cleared up in the normal time period, get to the GUM clinic and get tested for oral chlamydia and gonnorhea

This is sooooo MN. Lets How the hell do you get from a cold and a sore throat to chlamydia and gonorrhoea FFS

I've said that to my wife, I offered to lubricate it. Fortunately she does have a sense of humour.

😂😂😂 My ex used to say, I've got some cream for that !!! I also have a similar sense of humour so it didn't bother me (that's not why he's an ex)

Yes most women do at times, not all the time.

Op, definitely don't give him a blow job if you have a cold sore.

I think he said it in jest btw.

Sounds like my husband, expecting me to become a prostitute every time he cares for our son or cleans the house, he always says it's light-hearted but it drives me mad.

@gwackywacky are you having a bad day today? Seen you on a few other threads having a go.

It is funny... why all the man haters turning it into something it isn't? My dh said " see you soon" ( code word ) when off up to bed. I said " No, you're wage hasn't gone in yet" he laughed, cause it's funny.

Urgh. I like giving blow jobs. My DP offering to lube my sore throat with his sperm though would make me cringe

Dh is insistent that hes read that semen is brilliant for sore throats...god loves a trier.I just roll my eyes.

@PhilCornwall1 Why are you deflecting?

I hate to sound a cynical note but if that hasn't cleared up in the normal time period, get to the GUM clinic and get tested for oral chlamydia and gonnorhea

We have travelled to the dark side now.

He and you sound like a good team OP. Can’t blame the man for trying

This was your downfall. You are not well and you thanked him for allowing you to recover.

😂😂😂 Ahhh that's where you are going so wrong, Never be appreciative of your hubby, what the hell have relationships come to where you can't thank your hubby !

I think the guy at the till in Sainsburys, it's his job, he gets friggin paid to do it, but I still thank him, it's just manners and being nice

I thank the guy not think lol

If you have a bit of banter that's fine.

But...I'd guess he was only half joking (ie if you said ok then he wouldn't say oh no dont be silly i was only joking I know you're not well). So half a funny joke and half of something more sinister. I guess the sinister part may not apply to him but most women have been in the position of men trying to get them to so stuff they dont want to, which is why it makes people feel a little bit uncomfortable as lots of men do actually think like this eg expect praise for 'helping out' with their own kids, or expecting a woman to come back to theirs because they've been buying them drinks all night etc (ie dont do something selflessly because its the right thing to do or they just want to be nice).

I think if he was joking, coercive control is a bit strong! But on the other hand a joke about coercive control isn't really that funny

He should round off an amazing day of being a perfect dad and husband by offering you whatever sexual pleasure you desire! Lie back and enjoy it (or don't, depending on your desire!) a knee trembling orgasm will do wonders for how you are feeling. All those endorphins rushing around will really perk you up!