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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give them their poxy bottle of wine back?

144 replies

Rainatnight · 27/10/2019 03:37

New NDN are having a massive party. Still going on - very noisy.

They came round a week ago with a note about it and a bottle of wine. DP thought it was lovely. I was deeply suspicious and I’ve been proved right. Grin

The DC are going to be up in two hours (they don’t know about the clocks) and I feel slightly deranged.

I want to give their poxy bottle of cheap white back to them.

(I won’t. I just felt like a rant. But FFS).

OP posts:
rainbowstardrops · 27/10/2019 07:27

Utter arseholes!!! I can't believe they didn't even turn the music down when you went round at 4 and instead kept it blaring until 5am!
Are they adults or was this a teenagers party? Not that it matters because it's bloody inconsiderate either way

Deathraystare · 27/10/2019 07:29

The Chinese Opera suggestion is genius but also if you could get a recording of a baby in full screechy meltdown (if you own won't oblige) then when it is finally quiet and you think they may be asleep, crank it up to full volume.

IDontLikeZombies · 27/10/2019 07:30

All the cool people on here - why are you being so nice about people who don't give a tiny, shiny jobbie about you? They are telling you very, very clearly that their right to one night of partying, which could be conducted just as well in a nightclub, is way more important than your comfort and wellbeing.

12 hour shift? - fuck you, I'm dancing to ABBA in my front room. You've got wee kids or other dependants who can't sleep and are scared? - suck it up buttercup. You have a physical/mental health condition and just need a quiet bed to sleep in - stick it up your arse, Robbie Williams has just come on.

Sweetpotatoaddict · 27/10/2019 07:30

It’s the first time. Perhaps would have been a bit more diplomatic to speak to them after the event. Let it be initially as a one off, and see if it occurs frequently. They are new neighbours it could be rather miserable if relations are soured completely.

CallmeAngelina · 27/10/2019 07:30

Since when has Hallowe'en been just "an excuse for posh kids to dress up?"
You might just as well accuse it of being for "feral kids to terrorise their neighbours."

I think YAB a bit U because they did warn you they would be having a party. Are people not allowed to have parties anymore?

bluebury · 27/10/2019 07:30

We had a similar issue with new neighbours.

Final straw was when at the 2nd party they held they decided it'd be funny to start 'screaming' karaoke at 2-3am after we politely asked if they could turn it down a little.

9am heavy metal on the surround sound system up asked their bedroom wall did the trick. The next time they forewarned us about noise and gave us their number so we could text if it was getting too loud.

Should also add for the first month or so they'd decided 11pm was the perfect time to start doing diy every single evening. So our patience was wearing pretty thin.

Jimdandy · 27/10/2019 07:33

I think YABU and very intolerant.

Assuming they don’t have these kind of parties every night and they had the decent common courtesy to warn you and give you a gift, I think a one off party is fine.

Celebelly · 27/10/2019 07:36

I'm usually of the 'if it's a one-off then I'd just leave it'. But 5am is ridiculous for a residential area.

Actionhasmagic · 27/10/2019 07:37

Yanbu

fedup21 · 27/10/2019 07:39

They saw the texts and replied! What did they reply?

bluebury · 27/10/2019 07:40

I'm complete amazed by the amount of people on here who think making excessive noise until 5am is ok.

1am with pre-warning fair enough but I'd expect people to start winding it down if asked to after that.

Just because they gave you a bottle of wine doesn't mean they can do what they want. If you don't say anything chances are you'll end up in the situation where they think they can just pop round with a bottle of £4 wine then do whatever they want.

Avenilson · 27/10/2019 07:42

as mentioned by others, had the same issue, new neighbours, pounding party after they moved in; drunken shouting snd fisticuffs (between house owner and one of his guests) it was terrible but oddly enough after their inauguration night, never a peep or a party was heard again. I would have held my fire OP, but you've done it now, they may go all out for retribution 😱

shearwater · 27/10/2019 07:42

I wouldn't really bother about noise for one night, if they had pre-warned me as well. I wouldn't like it if it were a regular occurrence, however.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 27/10/2019 07:43

Ugh, my NDN in Brighton were like this. We lived in a block of terraced houses. They had the whole house whereas my place was a conversion into two flats. This meant my bedroom was next to their lounge. So my bed was literally 4 feet from their settee.

After 3 ocassions when I went round there about 2-3am, and on one memorable night threatened "to kick your cunty arse down these steps and then fetch my car to run you over, it's fucking Tuesday you cunt" I received a note stating that they'd be having a party on X date and I was welcome to come along.

I booked a hotel.

nononever · 27/10/2019 07:43

I think YABU and very intolerant.

And you'd be happy for a full on party going on until 5am when you have two small children. I don't think do.

OP I wouldn't have been happy either. He's have a party but not until bloody getting up time for some people.

Vulpine · 27/10/2019 07:44

Just read one of your updates. So now youre bringing class into it. I've had similar problems with people who were definitely not 'posh'. Selfish behaviour is classless

Original poster
Rainatnight · 27/10/2019 07:46

Anyone here saying it’s ok cos it’s a one-off, did you miss the bit about it going on till 5am. Can you honestly say you’d be ok with that?

fedup they replied with nice, polite things like ‘ok, sorry!’ And then did fuck all about it.

OP posts:
Doormat247 · 27/10/2019 07:47

I sympathise with you OP, I have dickhead neighbours too. I had to listen to blaring dance music all day yesterday - she has 2 young children so what she thinks they get out of listening to that shit I'll never know.
I can hear it at the other side of my house and it infuriates me.

I'm guilty of the revenge tactics but I don't think she even notices most of the time. Or she just turns up the music even louder. Their general noise and banging makes it sound like they're about to burst through my wall and it makes my anxiety worse.

The fact that yours partied until that time of morning is an absolute piss take and I'd have smashed that bloody cheap wine all over their front step. You sound like you need to get the local authority involved if it continues.

foxatthewindow · 27/10/2019 07:48

Oh dear - that would have wound me up! We lived near frequent partiers in our first flat - big house over the back with a hot tub that would be full of people after the clubs kicked out. And the football fan across the road who used to sing/cry on his lawn depending on the result. Very frustrating. In our next house we had some party animals a few doors down, they had massive parties but only a couple of times a year, and Halloween was one of them. Again, frustrating, but lovely people. I think it depends on the frequency which is something you don’t know just yet. Having had next door neighbours we were cordial with but also really didn’t get on with, I would really try and do my best to smooth things over for now.

bakingdemon · 27/10/2019 07:49

Are they tenants or owner occupiers? When we had awful noisy neighbours who had repeated late parties, we kept a record and informed their landlord every single time. The landlord (who we knew, as he'd been living there before moving abroad) got so fed up with our complaints about them breaching the terms of their lease (no loud noise after 11pm, as standard) that he told them to move out. You could go round and ask for their landlord's details so you can write to them which might prompt abject apologies

Original poster
Rainatnight · 27/10/2019 07:51

Vulpine, I really didn’t mean to be judgy, and of course class isn’t relevant here. It was just my heated description of who was there.

Someone asked if they were teenagers. No, adults. I’d say they were late 20s.

OP posts:
WhinyWa · 27/10/2019 07:53

So you texted, went over and it still didn't stop until 5am.
I'd definitely go visit and ask what made them think that was acceptable. I'd never have the balls to behave like that. Obviously others on here do it or they'd not be telling you it's ok.
Why does anyone need noise like that until 5am.
Bastards

shearwater · 27/10/2019 07:55

Our next door but one neighbours had a party one time, not deafeningly loud, but a buzz of laughter, talking and music until the early hours. I was actually only awakened by neighbour and her friend drunkenly bouncing and giggling on the trampoline at 3am, but I could see them from the bathroom window and found it hilarious!

This was now at least ten years ago and there have been no parties since.

Vintagegoth · 27/10/2019 07:55

I thought you were going to say you were in my street last night. New neighbours holding a Halloween party. Seemed to go up a notch at about mindnight when the volume was cranked up, the front door left wide open and guests started staggering around in the street swearing and shouting. Seemed to calm down a bit at 2am thank god.
I hope you can maintain a sufficient level of caffeine to survive today. YANBU

popsadaisy · 27/10/2019 07:56

To the people who are saying 'it's a one off' firstly OP doesn't know if it is a 'one off' they've only just moved in and also it doesn't matter if it is a one off it's still rude as hell!!!
5am is not acceptable you did the right thing OP and I think if the people on this thread who think you have over reacted had had a night like you have they wouldn't be so understanding this morning!
It is was me I'd have been getting twitchy with the loud music at around 11!! I hope they come round with another 10 bottles of wine today and an apology!