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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is liam Payne co parenting?

196 replies

Upordown · 26/10/2019 23:17

Happy to be flamed but when you are wealthy, yet admit you don't see your baby/young child for weeks, you are not co parenting? Everyone has their own priorities and ambitions, but at least one parent needs to prioritise ambitions around their child? I'm not saying it's always the mum, but don't you are not parenting if you see your child once a month or so...

OP posts:
RandomAmanda · 27/10/2019 00:29

Well... I've tried ringing him but he's not picking up Hmm I'll try texting him tomorrow and see what he says.

SleepingStandingUp · 27/10/2019 00:35

Agree that he was a sperm donor
He knowingly had sex within a commuted relationship, he's knew full well the implications of that.

Venger · 27/10/2019 00:37

I'd imagine she is also so "understanding" for the sake of the child and doesn't want to publically trash his dad.

My bestie is a single parent. Her ex is an absolute dickhead, the kind of bloke who calls to cancel his weekend with the DC an hour after he was supposed to pick them up because he's out with his new girlfriend and "forgot" the time, the sort who doesn't pay any maintenance and then gets shitty when he gets letters from CMS, the kind who tells the DC that the reason he can't see them very often is because their mother chose to leave him, that she broke up the family. Despite his shameful behaviour she has never bad mouthed him in front of the DC because he's their dad, because anything she does say that then finds it way back to him will only play into his narrative of it all being her fault, and because she doesn't want to be accused of turning the DC against him. As the DC are getting older they're starting to work out for themselves that he is not a good person and while they've both gone through various stages of "dad is much nicer than you!" they've realised which parent it is who is there for them, which parent doesn't put them in the middle, and which parent puts them first.

Original poster
Upordown · 27/10/2019 00:37

Gosh, this is really showing a serious expectation in male and female roles when a child is 'created'. I agree that when a woman has a child at 18, 20, 23 or 30 (or whatever age) there is little tolerance as to how she prioritises her life around 'their' child. We are still decades away from gender equality in terms of the genger expectations of child raising.Sad

OP posts:
Dickorydockwhatthe · 27/10/2019 00:42

Like cheryl would need maintenance. Id be devastated for my child if their father didn’t bother to see them 😞

lostelephant · 27/10/2019 00:50

I was shocked to read that he doesn't see Bear much, and used him being a 2 year old almost like an excuse as to why. He sounds like a shit dad who is never there, no different to half of the dads you read about on here.

If I remember correctly, Louis Tomlinson also has a son who he barely sees. I think his son does live in America though and was the result of a one night stand, which makes it logistically more difficult, but still these men are seemingly praised for their parenting Hmm

Venger · 27/10/2019 00:57

Men always get praised for doing the bare minimum, all they need to do is show up and they're lauded as Super Dad.

This comic here about sums it up

piximus.net/others/the-difference-between-dads-and-moms-going-out-in-public

Original poster
Upordown · 27/10/2019 00:57

When I hear this, I just feel so uncomfortable that we (*women) are so critical of other women (mums) while the dads are congratulated and given 'disney dad' status. It's easy to given financially when you have lots, it's harder to give your time when you have such exciting options.

OP posts:
MacabreMannequinFun · 27/10/2019 01:09

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation

No. My internet has been cut off so I'm on very limited data, and google searches use up a lot more than forum posts

It really doesn't, enjoy googling!
BTW I am very impressed that you don't know these loser celebrities.

Persimmonn · 27/10/2019 01:13

I had my first child at 24. Managed to realise that I had to grow up quickly and do everything to keep my little one safe and raise her properly. Same with dh. He’s got no excuse. But hasn’t he had a rough time, with his mum dying and sister dying too?

IHaveBrilloHair · 27/10/2019 01:14

In just gutted that he said it'll be at least two years until 1D get back together.Halloween Smile

sweeneytoddsrazor · 27/10/2019 01:14

I think in the case of Louis Thompson the mother was restricting access.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 27/10/2019 01:15

Tomlinson not Thompson not sure what autocorrect was doing there.

SleepingStandingUp · 27/10/2019 01:15

Thought it was Louis who lost his Mom and sister, not Liam?

Avenilson · 27/10/2019 01:17

she is happy to keep him at arms length, she just wanted a baby, I'd guess the less involved he is, the better in her book. She controls the show but he is a source of embarrassment to her due to things he has said. She should not worry, his 15 mins is about up and hers is long gone. She'll have to allow that baby be pictured to reignite her public profile, that's the last weapon in her armoury for what can only be described as a rapidly failing public profile.

Persimmonn · 27/10/2019 01:19

Oh my bad. I don’t know them terribly well. Horrible grubby little things, the lot of them. Need a good wash.

Tojigornot · 27/10/2019 01:21

Need a good wash? Confused

SleepingStandingUp · 27/10/2019 01:23

she is happy to keep him at arms length for osmeone who seems to know her so well you aren't very empathetic. Or is it just another assumption that as she's the woman, it's all her fault.

Fro mtbe few interviews she's given, she sounds lonely and broody. Sound like she'd be happier with a long term partner, and the option of more kids

Original poster
Upordown · 27/10/2019 01:27

Tbh, i rarely take an interest in celebs, just happened to see Liam on the JR show and just sensed the acceptance of a dad 'doing his best' (!?) and the different expectation of males/female roles...

OP posts:
MyGoodTimes · 27/10/2019 01:27

Is she still on x factor? She had fame and met Liam through x factor.

Persimmonn · 27/10/2019 01:28

Need a good wash?

Yes. They all look nasty. Greasy hair and disgusting. Especially that one with the hair. Harry Styles. Nasty.

Tojigornot · 27/10/2019 01:29

I’m not exactly a fan. But I really don’t think any of them have greasy hair.

SleepingStandingUp · 27/10/2019 01:30

Harry did always look like he needed as rub Tbh. Suspect it's hair products rather than grease Tbh tho

GunpowderGelatine · 27/10/2019 01:39

Lol at "Oh he HAS to travel the world to provide for his son". I imagine Cheryl has a Bob or two, they're hardly on Universal Credits are they. God the knots people tie themselves in the excuse shit fathers never ceases to amaze me.

Littlepond · 27/10/2019 01:55

This thread is so depressing. Somehow it’s always the woman’s fault isn’t it? And the poor hard done by men are trying their best. Ugh. UGH.

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