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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is liam Payne co parenting?

196 replies

Upordown · 26/10/2019 23:17

Happy to be flamed but when you are wealthy, yet admit you don't see your baby/young child for weeks, you are not co parenting? Everyone has their own priorities and ambitions, but at least one parent needs to prioritise ambitions around their child? I'm not saying it's always the mum, but don't you are not parenting if you see your child once a month or so...

OP posts:
MyGoodTimes · 27/10/2019 00:07

She had two failed marriages behind her and wanted a child. Liam was a means to an end. He was far too young and immature for her. It's no surprise how it turned out. They both got what they wanted.

SleepingStandingUp · 27/10/2019 00:08

My sympathy is reserved for the lone parents who have no money and no support

What about the kids growing up with feckless fathers who cba? Money doesn't buy you everything

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 27/10/2019 00:09

@WorraLiberty

No. My internet has been cut off so I'm on very limited data, and google searches use up a lot more than forum posts.

It sounds like this bloke is in a boy band so I take it I don't need to give a shit?

Original poster
Upordown · 27/10/2019 00:10

My sympathy is for an innocent child who has 2 very solvent parents. Btw, I'm not sure Liam doesnt live his son as much as Cheryl, it's that she'd be judged very differently if she prioritised her career. It's no different to any other mum...

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 27/10/2019 00:10

He was far too young and immature for her 23 is old enough to know if you have sex, you're at risk of making a baby and if you make a baby, you're a parent and if you're a parent you should bloody well Parent esp when you're a millionaire so aren't working away trying to s rape together a bit of maintenance

jennymanara · 27/10/2019 00:10

I can guarantee that a 26 year old mum with a 2 year old she rarely sees would not be defended and described as a child. A mum in this situation would be vilified.
And any child growing up their dad CBA to see them will be affected negatively by that.

Original poster
Upordown · 27/10/2019 00:12

*I'm sure liam does love his child

OP posts:
Thesearmsofmine · 27/10/2019 00:13

He sounds like a crap selfish dad, i can’t believe people are excusing it by saying he was too young or immature. He was 24! My DH was 24 when Ds1 was born and was perfectly able to be a good parent.

I think he is selfish, he could easily spend regular time with his child, more so than many other dads who are under pressure financially yet he would rather be doing other things.

ILikePaperHats · 27/10/2019 00:14

I meant he behaves a bit like a child not that he is a child ffs. He's immature and doesn't seem to care about his responsibilities and is happy for Cheryl to take up all the slack while he swans around the work making crap music and shagging models. If PP thought I was defending him you're being ridiculous

Dickorydockwhatthe · 27/10/2019 00:15

Im blown away that he’s 26!! I literally cringe when ever I watch him during interviews he really has no clue.

TerfTalk · 27/10/2019 00:15

I think that Liam slagging Cheryl off publicly is very bad form. His son will one day read this. Not cool.

ILikePaperHats · 27/10/2019 00:16

*around the world

Dandelion1993 · 27/10/2019 00:17

There seems to be so many factors to it.

Cheryl had been quite clear in the press that she was desperate for a child and clearly used him for that.

There's alps the fact that to maintain such a comfortable lifestyle for bear, that Liam needs to keep up the hectic, unforgiving lifestyle and career style of someone in the music industry.

My DH is a self employed sound engineer who has been on many tours and album recordings and when he's working on those things, we're lucky to even see him on face time let alone any physical input.

Liam seems to be doing the best he can.

Fiveletters · 27/10/2019 00:17

He seems to view his child as an amusing novelty who he sees now and again. What a bizarre existence.

ILikePaperHats · 27/10/2019 00:19

'Liam seems to be doing the best he can.'
Hmm

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 27/10/2019 00:20

Oh come on she was getting older, wanted a baby and along come stupid young boy thinking with his cock.

He was a sperm donor but unlike many women I imagine she is getting £££ in maintence so every cloud and all that......

SleepingStandingUp · 27/10/2019 00:20

Cheryl had been quite clear in the press that she was desperate for a child and clearly used him for that oh I missed tbe article where she said she'd just used him for his sperm 🤔🙄

Assuming he's giving Cheryl a ton of maintenance for Bear, he's still making a active choice to see his child less than he could do. They're hardly going to be living on the streets if he had taken some time out to actually bond with his child

Thesearmsofmine · 27/10/2019 00:23

It doesn’t matter if she wanted a baby or how much maintenance she gets. What matters is the child and that it’s dad seemingly can’t be bothered. He is no different to any other absent father who swoops in every now and again probably bearing some kind of gift.

SleepingStandingUp · 27/10/2019 00:24

Also looking at Wiki, I'm not sure he actually is working that hard...

Venger · 27/10/2019 00:24

Whether was an unwitting sperm donor or not, it doesn't absolve him of the responsibility of fatherhood. There's an unwritten implication in these sorts of posts that because he was just a donor he can't then be expected to step up to the mark, that Cheryl has somehow used him so has no right of complaint, and it's once again excuses being created for yet another deadbeat dad.

Original poster
Upordown · 27/10/2019 00:25

I didn't get the sense that Liam was feeling pressured to maintain an income to provide for his son. But I'm sure he does contribute financially more than most of us could imagine. It's just that children value (and remember) closeness and dependancy. Having parents available is just so special, even if not together.

OP posts:
CarolDanvers · 27/10/2019 00:26

He says Cheryl is very “understanding”*

I'm very understanding too but ex is such a shit Dad that I am relieved when he cancels and don't give him a hard time. Maybe that's why she's so understanding.

areyoubeingserviced · 27/10/2019 00:27

Agree that he was a sperm donor

CarolDanvers · 27/10/2019 00:28

He's hot

Is he? I think he has a very ordinary, rather weak looking face. Not at all good looking.

BanKittenHeels · 27/10/2019 00:29

He was far too young and immature

Hmm

The man was in his twenties when he became a father. This is not an unusual age to become a father, nor does it make him a child. He is in his mid-twenties now.

My DH and I had 3 DC at that age and were juggling very stressful careers/medical school.

This MAN should not be waved down as a young teen, there is no excuse for not parenting your children.