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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think she shouldn't of taken my old toys?

244 replies

unicornsandrainbows98 · 26/10/2019 21:38

So my mums sorting out her attic as she's moving house. 19 years worth of stuff.
So my aunt (her sister came round to help). When we was younger my aunt gave me and my sister all of my cousins old hand me down Disney toys which we loved and played with constantly for years. My cousins (her children) are around 5-6 years older than me and my sister so there was a little bit of an age gap but not huge.
Anyway enough drip feeding, I had asked my mum to put them toys aside because I now have a 20 month old son who loves Disney and would love the toys and appreciate them e.t.c. My aunt has taken ALL of the toys home with her saying they're were her kids' toys once. 1. My cousin is gay and married but I know for a fact they don't want children in the future or ever. 2.my other cousin does not want children either and 3. They're all like nearly 30 years old? They are just going to be sitting in an attic again waiting to be played with? Aibu to think realistically they should of gone to my son and we should of got to keep them as they was handed down to us in the first place? Sorry this post sounds so petty but I would of loved to see my little one play with the same toys I had so much fun with as a kid!

OP posts:
Totopoly · 29/10/2019 21:17

The Mumsnet Talk Guidelines state:

No personal attacks
No posts that break the law
No trolling, misleading or deliberately inflammatory behaviour
No trollhunting
No spamming

None of my posts (all of which were polite) broke these guidelines. They were on the subject, generally, of grammar and spelling. I appreciate that they were off topic, and would have accepted a warning about this. That's very different, though, from having been deemed to have broken any of the Talk Guidelines. Disappointing work, MN.

Gingaaarghpussy · 29/10/2019 21:25

So you're justifying yourself?
It doesn't matter whether it was against talk guidelines or not. NOTHING justifies belittling someone for their grammar or spelling, when that is not the issue that a person is posting about.
If your posts were SO helpful, why do you think they were deleted?

Totopoly · 29/10/2019 21:47

I didn't say they were 'SO helpful', Ginga. Nor am I 'justifying myself'. I acknowledge that there is no good reason to de-rail a thread, and apologise for having done so. (I am of course not the first to de-rail a thread - though seem to be the first who has their posts deleted in response to it Confused).

Rather than justifying anything, I merely said just now that my comments weren't rude, offensive or in any way against MN Talk Guidelines. I would not like new posters on this thread to think that I had said anything offensive to anyone. I have seen some awful things that are allowed to stand on MN - but general comments on the teaching of grammar in schools is deemed worse? I wasn't even talking specifically about the OP. My comments were all entirely general/theoretical.

However, let that be an end to it, as I don't want to de-rail any further, or to have further posts deleted as a result of de-railing.

Gingaaarghpussy · 29/10/2019 22:05

Um, you are.
This is a thread about toys, or lack thereof, it doesn't matter WHAT the spag is, it's the toy problem.

Totopoly · 29/10/2019 22:20

I have apologised once for de-railing, and am not going to be goaded into doing it any further, Ginga.

Interesting, though, that posts calling me a 'twat' and 'stuck up my own arse' are allowed to stand.

OP, I agree with those who say it's a shame, but the toys are probably past their best and your son won't know what he has missed.

Bluerussian · 29/10/2019 22:29

Don't worry about it, Totopoly, Mumsnet often do things arse about face, they don't read the entire thread. We move on.

Pinkyyy · 30/10/2019 13:46

Actually I was extremely offended by your posts @Totopoly. Stating that someone is disabled because they're not fully literate is definitely inflammatory and offensive. Perhaps you'd be better off leaving it there now instead of causing any further upset/derailing.

Totopoly · 30/10/2019 18:54

That is a gross misrepresentation of what I said, Pinkyyy. For whatever reason, though, it presumably suits you to mis-represent it in this way. I can only imagine you are looking for personal offence where none is intended.

Agree re derailing, and I have now answered the OP's original question. Perhaps we should all stick to this?

Thank you, btw, Bluerussian.

ffswhatnext · 30/10/2019 19:00

That is not a gross exaggeration. I also read it. Shame it was deleted.

And isn’t insulting a persons education a personal attack?

ffswhatnext · 30/10/2019 19:03

And yes you was behaving like a twat.
It is a shame your posts were deleted so others could have read them.

Bluerussian · 30/10/2019 19:13

"And yes you was behaving like a twat." :-)

Totopoly · 30/10/2019 19:58

Biscuit Bluerussian

I would be delighted for my deleted posts to be reinstated so that others could read them and make their minds up about whether I was behaving like a twat or not, ffs. FWIW, I am pretty sure I have nothing to be ashamed of.

Saying that many, many people have been poorly educated is not insulting any one individual's education, for what it's worth. And even if it were insulting one individual's education - which, again, it isn't - it is not a reflection on that individual, unless they choose to take it that way.

Meanwhile, I hope you have come to terms with your problem, OP.

ffswhatnext · 30/10/2019 20:27

And what about when you said I didn’t read enough when I had already pointed I have brain issues?
That wasn’t an attack on the general educational system.

And that aside, several people explained to you why what you was saying was wrong. But hey, if you want to carry on thinking you did nothing to be ashamed of, there will be no reasoning.
Even the childish comments at the beginning were more than enough to be ashamed of.

Totopoly · 30/10/2019 20:47

Sigh.

I really didn't aim any comments specifically at you, ffs, apart from my most recent one. If you have taken general comments to be aimed at you, there's not much to be done about that. I did say that my comments were not in any way related to anyone with additional needs.

I agree that the sarky comments at the start of the thread (including mine) were not helpful, and I think that the OP (who is the one who really matters, here) dealt with them very well. I think some of us may have been on here for a lot longer than others (about 16 years in my case), and are still expecting MN to be a slightly different place from the one it is now.

Gingaaarghpussy · 30/10/2019 21:07

Ee gads, move on.

Bluerussian · 31/10/2019 01:07

I had a post removed on this thread too and I hardly said anything. It doesn't matter.

Pinkyyy, whom I have seen on other threads, is always a fair person and posts quite interesting things. Maybe we should not say anything at all about grammatical errors (& we all make them occasionally), I usually let things pass but on this thread I couldn't quite believe the op was making the same mistake over and over.

We move on (as Gingaaarghpussy said).

I hope you've given up on the idea of keeping those old toys, unicorns, though if there is one that you think your child would really like, you could ask to keep that.

Let it go. You might find they are left to you in a will in due course, you never know.

outherealone · 31/10/2019 03:20

What a bunch of spiteful snobby judgemental trolls. How mean.

Bluerussian · 31/10/2019 07:33

We've left that behind, outherealone.

Pinkyyy · 31/10/2019 07:50

Thank you @Bluerussian, that's kind of you to say.

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