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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or is DP?

31 replies

Cassiemermaid · 26/10/2019 17:34

I’ve just been shopping, was very tired and laden down with various bags, but DP rang and asked if I’d pick him up some shirts from Primark. Hate going in there as it’s always so busy and chaotic, but went in, picked his shirts, queued up for half an hour etc. I then rang and said I’m on my way home (about half an hour away) and he knew I didn’t have keys on me. Got home and buzzed up to be let into the flat - nothing. Buzzed and buzzed and rang him 3 times - nothing. Car was in the drive so I knew he was in. Pouring with rain here today and I just stood there with his fucking shirts and BLT I’d bought to be nice. Eventually a neighbour came down to let me in, then the flat door was open. I went in and he was lying asleep on the sofa with his pants and trousers pulled down, clearly just had a wank and fallen into some bizarrely deep sleep given how loud our buzzer is I don’t know how he missed it. I woke up him up and said hello?? What are you doing? He said nothing but made a face like id just slapped him, as though v hard done by. Said nothing re shirts, just wordlessly went into the bedroom and is now lying in there sulking. Seriously am I in the wrong?

OP posts:
EKGEMS · 26/10/2019 17:47

Tbh I'd have cussed his ass out and eaten his BLT!

sweeneytoddsrazor · 26/10/2019 17:48

He has a wank with the flat door open?Confused

Calic0 · 26/10/2019 17:50

He probably didn’t say anything because he was embarrassed about being found in that position.

It’s one of those things and I don’t think anyone is in the wrong as such...the moral of the story is a) don’t forget your keys and b) don’t say yes to favours if you’re then going to feel resentful about them.

Calic0 · 26/10/2019 17:50

Oh and c) lock the front door before you settle in to give yourself a treat! Grin

GaaaaarlicBread · 26/10/2019 17:51

I don’t see why you’re in the wrong at all here ??

Travis1 · 26/10/2019 17:53

Yanbu. Let him sulk. Eat his blt and set yourself up on the couch with some snacks and some cheesy films

DonnaDarko · 26/10/2019 17:54

This is why I always make sure I have my keys on me lol.

Also I never go shopping for DP, he can buy his own shirts! I don't even know what size he is lol.

DonnaDarko · 26/10/2019 17:55

I realised my post makes it sound like my partner regularly wanks himself into a stupor with the door open (he really doesnt) 🤣

Pumpkintopf · 26/10/2019 18:10

Seriously?! Of course he is being unreasonable and should apologise to you!!

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 26/10/2019 18:13

You haven't done anything wrong, he's just embarrassed because it was obvious he'd been having a wank, that's why he's sulking.

FineWordsForAPorcupine · 26/10/2019 18:14

As always with these snapshots, it's hard to tell how pissed off it's reasonable to be with a bit of background.

Is he usually a kind, respectful partner who doesn't usually leave you locked out in the rain? If so, a bit of fond teasing about the whole finding him snoozing with his pants down and forget about it.

However, if he has form for thoughtlessness and selfishness (exactly how often does he "ask you to pick up some shirts for him"? You aren't his mum and he's not a child, this isn't your responsibility) and does he usually spend weekends lazing about masturbating while you get jobs done? If so, he sounds like a bellend and you should maybe rethink how the relationship operates.

KM99 · 26/10/2019 18:21

I'm conflicted here, OP

A) complete admiration he managed to wank himself unconscious in the 30 minutes between your phone call and you getting home 😁

B) unimpressed he's sulking like a child because he got caught. Manchild behaviour.

Like a PP said, more context needed on what he's like in general.

Crafting1Queen · 26/10/2019 18:33

.

Neverender · 26/10/2019 18:42

Yeh you've done nothing wrong at all. Crack on with your evening and wait for an apology...

blackteasplease · 26/10/2019 18:45

You ve done nothing wrong.

Advice for him - Surely it's possible to have a wank without passing out? Also if you know someone needs to be let in soon, don't risk it! Plus shut the door when you wankm

CSIblonde · 26/10/2019 18:55

Why don't you have keys, like a grown up? He's embarrassed. Stoned or drunk?

Topseyt · 26/10/2019 18:55

Bleurgh! I wouldn't want to find my DH in that state. What an arse. I hope you threw the shirts at him.

I suppose the moral is, don't go out without your keys.

elessar · 26/10/2019 20:15

Hmm you're being a bit of a martyr here.

You were shopping - not in a chain gang. Hmm

If it was really that much of a problem you could have refused to get the shirts.

And he was asleep - it's not like he was ignoring you on purpose. Although falling asleep with his trousers down is just a bit weird.

Why didn't you have your keys? Pretty irresponsible of you to be honest.

Zebraaa · 26/10/2019 20:41

I’d just ignored him and carry on having a nice night. Wait for him to come creeping out of his sulk.

ElizaDee · 26/10/2019 20:51

I wouldn't have been annoyed, I'd have taken the piss.

First off, I'd have woken him up pretending to be police bursting through the door and then I'd have ripped the piss forever more the rest of the evening.

EmmiJay · 26/10/2019 20:59

I'd of pulled a few pubes to wake him up tbh. And I hope you did eat the bloody BLT!

Witchinaditch · 26/10/2019 21:01

I would have been livid

NearlyGranny · 26/10/2019 21:04

Take the shirts back. Never buy his clothes for him. When was the last time you asked him to pick up tights or Tshirts for you when he was put? What would his response have been if you had?

NearlyGranny · 26/10/2019 21:04

When he was out.

Guiltypleasures001 · 26/10/2019 21:07

Ill assume no one else was there giving him a wank etc because they left in a panic and left the door open

Cynical me him getting you to shopping for shirts in pissing Primark while,he gets his end away, just keeps you out for longer

He was pretending to be asleep in my opinion