To feel pissed off about my DP's migraines.

[GetMeOffThisCycleOfMisery]

My DP suffers with regular migraines. I get them too, maybe three or four a year, whereas he gets one or two a month. When he gets one, he's in bed for anything up to 16 hours, sleeping and only leaving our bed to vomit.

I'm always supportive and sympathetic when he has an attack, rubbing his back when he's sick, fetching constant glasses of water, sometimes he wants a shoulder massage as he gets tension there.

I've asked him countless times to see a doctor and he says he will, but never does.

Consequently, these attacks ruin plans. He missed most of his sister's wedding because of one. Last year I got him tickets to see him favourite band, the band are from the USA and not here that often, I paid over £100 for tickets and on the day he was too ill to go and it was too late to sell them.

Today, we are meant to go to London, for a day out seeing the sights, meeting friends, arranged weeks ago and he's woken up with another migraine.

My sympathy is now starting to wane. Mainly due to the fact that if he'd gone to the doctor, one of the times I asked. He could now possibly have medication that either prevents or cures these migraines.

I'm now going to London on my own. We have tickets for something, so can't rearrange. Yet I'll also feel bad as I'll be worried about my DP all day. However, if I stay home I just have to sit in living room quiet as possible so as to not disturb him when he's sleeping.

I get regular migraines. Nothing helps. Yes it's annoying that he hasn't even tried different medication. However, nothing may actually help.

He hardly enjoys suffering from these. I wouldn't wish regular migraines on anybody. Nor would I feel annoyed that they were going through this. I couldn't feel anything but empathy.

@glitterfarts that sounds awful. Hope you don’t get too many of those. I’ve just got over a four day migraine but I don’t get the issues with vision or taste. I hope they’ll just stop one day 😖

Sounds like he needs a beta blocker, like propranolol. I take a daily pizotofen and it's been life changing, I rarely get migraines now. I don't understand, as a migraine sufferer, how he can just accept this as a way of life when there are options out there for him to not have them as often. I'd be cross too OP, men are notorious for this though, not acknowledging a health problem until its out of control.

Hi all. An update.

DP finally went to Drs in November. Got given tablets for high BP and amitriptyline for the headaches and migraines.

BP not come down as yet, but migraines have cut down to probably one a month / every six weeks. Which is great.

But lo-and-behold, we had his BIL's 50th yesterday. Big family meal at a nice place. DP woke up with a migraine. Ended up having to go back to bed for rest of the day.

He fnally woke up after the meal had started, felt a lot better, but still not well enough to attend meal.

So, yes it's improved. But why does it always ruin occasions and plans! 😭

OP it sucks, it really does. My DP has a chronic health condition (not migraines) and has missed many many events, not been able to go on holiday etc etc for years. There's nothing that makes it better as such but you do have to accept it for what it is (or leave of course, if you don't want to do that) and get used to doing things independently without feeling guilty.

GetMeOffThisCycleOfMisery

Glad to hear that your DP has finally been to the GP and is getting much needed help for the migraines.

Reading your original post from last year and now this one, are you absolutely sure that he hasn’t got some form of social anxiety? As in, feeling anxious about social events which either trigger a migraine attack or he says he’s got a migraine to avoid such events. Just a thought....

He needs to see a psychologist as well maybe via local pain clinic. Is he keeping a headache diary?

The thing is he might have tried medications in the past if he has had them for 25 years and knows that they don’t work.
I’ve tried loads of things and they don’t work so I’ve given up and just take painkillers and go to bed. I used to get ones that lasted 5 days with vomiting

Imna migraine sufferer, for me daily amitriptyline and sumatriptan for an attack. I can take the latter and after an hours lie down and a couple of ice packs (back of neck and top of head) I will feel able to function. He should go back and discuss medication for an attack, it will help

amitriptyline for migraines? Blimey. Surely that would be absolute last resort after every other method has been tried?

It does sound like there is some sort of social anxiety element.

I get headaches a lot and sometimes feel sick with them. Not sure if they are migraines. There is definitely a hormonal element.

I used to get them a lot more than I do now but I no longer commute and that seems to have made a difference. I also get regular sports massages and I think they help to a degree.

I haven't bothered with the doctors as they aren't bad enough and some iboprofen and a cola often do the trick for me.

Another suggestion would be to take a magnesium supplement.

But it does sound like there's a psychological element.

cologne I’ve been put on Amitriptyline for migraines. I was getting at least one a fortnight and although triptans helped I really needed something to stop them coming so much. It’s worked really well actually. Only downside is I can’t drink on them.

OP I’m glad he’s better than he was. It might be worth looking at his possible triggers. Do they often come at weekends? Does he have more caffeine before these events?

Sound like he is anxious about events op. My mum gets it, she is physically sick before going out to an event, party, meal etc. She has seen someone about it and they gave her grounding exercises. She can control it now. She still feels sick but she is never actually sick now

There's a lot of crap on this thread from people who know nothing about migraine.

All migraine medication (with the exception of the new CGRP meds) actually originated from other illnesses (such as depression or epilepsy) so just because amitriptyline is an antidepressant it doesn't mean that they're trying to treat underlying social anxiety, it's just that it also happens to reduce migraines in some people as well. The dose is usually well below what would be effective as an antidepressant. It's a common, first treatment.

OP it sounds like your husband has had a good response to amitriptyline but no drug is likely to irradicate migraines altogether.

It's likely he needs to work out which triptan works best as an abortative treatment, there are several, so he can use those in response to attack.

But I'm afraid there will always be occasions which get spoilt or called off due to migraines. However annoyed / disappointed you feel, trust me your dh will feel worse about it.

Thanks all. Really helpful replies. Been sharing the responses with DP.

He said doesn't consciously feel anxious about any events, but do bear in mind most of his migraines are at the weekend, which is naturally when socialising happen.

We tend to go bed later on a Friday, inevitably we then get up later, he probably had one or two more coffees than usual on a weekend.

Good point about the amitriptyline being the prevention tablet, but he's got no 'cure' tablet for the attacks. He needs to go back as BP not really come down, so will get that addressed.

He was taking magnesium before seeing Dr, might be worth trying it again.

Ive been suffering horrendous migraines recently. went to the Drs and was told to take 3 x 300mg disolvable asprin in coke (full fat) or coffee when I feel a beginnings of a migraine headache coming on to prevent it becoming a full one.

Seems to work in 90% of my headaches. The asprin is available over the counter for about 70p a pack.