To feel pissed off about my DP's migraines.

[GetMeOffThisCycleOfMisery]

My DP suffers with regular migraines. I get them too, maybe three or four a year, whereas he gets one or two a month. When he gets one, he's in bed for anything up to 16 hours, sleeping and only leaving our bed to vomit.

I'm always supportive and sympathetic when he has an attack, rubbing his back when he's sick, fetching constant glasses of water, sometimes he wants a shoulder massage as he gets tension there.

I've asked him countless times to see a doctor and he says he will, but never does.

Consequently, these attacks ruin plans. He missed most of his sister's wedding because of one. Last year I got him tickets to see him favourite band, the band are from the USA and not here that often, I paid over £100 for tickets and on the day he was too ill to go and it was too late to sell them.

Today, we are meant to go to London, for a day out seeing the sights, meeting friends, arranged weeks ago and he's woken up with another migraine.

My sympathy is now starting to wane. Mainly due to the fact that if he'd gone to the doctor, one of the times I asked. He could now possibly have medication that either prevents or cures these migraines.

I'm now going to London on my own. We have tickets for something, so can't rearrange. Yet I'll also feel bad as I'll be worried about my DP all day. However, if I stay home I just have to sit in living room quiet as possible so as to not disturb him when he's sleeping.

What a weird mindset. I used to have migraines (gone now, luckily!). My mum still has them, my grandma used to have them, so it's hereditary. The pain is excruciating and when I had them, I would have given my arm and leg for the right medicine. Would have drunk the cat's piss if only it would help. So your partner not going to a doctor who might help is very very odd.

That said, it doesn't always help. I went to multiple doctors and tried different medicine - nothing worked. But you wouldn't know this if you don't try, obviously.

Also a migraine sufferer. He can't take Sumatriptan once he already has a migraine, it won't work.

He needs to get painkillers and Sumatriptan at the first hint of pain in his head.
You can also get it as a melt and a nasal spray which I have, as anything I swallow with a migraine is going to come straight back up.

Keep a strict food diary - it's possibly something at work - ie do they cook something different every Friday if it is quite often the weekend?

What's he doing about the high BP? That won't help.

Enjoy the weekend.

My mam is like this. She complains and complains until I get to the point of losing my shit and booking her an appointment.

I'd book him one and tell him he has to go. Migraine is vile but there are things he can take that may help. I find a can of ive cold red coke and some paracetamol can stop it if I take them in time.

It sounds like they happen a lot at weekends, is there a particular trigger like alcohol on a Friday night?

Mine were always on a Sunday; kept a food diary for a while and it quickly emerged it was the fried egg in my (very occasional) bacon and egg cob. Haven't had one since.

If he won't even try these self help methods to work out what it is, or get some Migraleve / Sumitripan and take it properly (ie at first hint of possible onset) then YANBU. I can understand his fear / reluctance to see a GP but he does need to own this, hopefully he will with only a little support.

Oh also a friend has a certain bit of her ear pierced to help with migraines

I suffer from migraines. They are extremely debilitating. I sympathise with anyone suffering from them. I can’t understand why he won’t see the gp. I now take propranolol and amitriptyline every day and my gp. (who is a migraine specialist) has given me a medication called sumatriptan which I take when I get an attack. Pre medication my attacked could last over 24 hours but now the sumatriptan generally shifts the attack in less than an hour. No one needs to be suffering like he is. Please show him this info. I can honestly say this medication has changed my life from feeling like I was just existing to actually living a life.
www.nhs.uk/medicines/amitriptyline-for-pain/
www.nhs.uk/conditions/migraine/prevention/
www.nhs.uk/medicines/sumatriptan/

@DCIRozHuntley you don’t take sumatriptan at the first hint of a migraine. You need to make sure you’re actually having one rather than a hint of one. It’s a fantastic medication though. I found from seeing a migraine specialist that mine were medication induced. I would take solpadine at the first hint of a migraine. I won’t bore you with all the details but apparently over 30percent of migraines are caused by pain medication.

@glitterfarts my migraine specialist told me not to take sumatriptan at the first hint but rather I know for sure that I have one. I’ve found it a miracle medication and works a treat.

Oh also a friend has a certain bit of her ear pierced to help with migraines

We did this for my DD, along with regular feverfew & B6, it's completely cured the actually severe headaches & massively minimised the aura symptoms for her

A few non medical things that have helped me:

Good pillows- neck tension is a trigger for me and having pillows that support my head and neck has really helped.

Humidifier - stops me getting too drunk ied out overnight. It was £15 from amazon and is brilliant.

Staying cool - linked to the above. Mine tend to strike overnight, especially if I've been too hot and have got a bit dehydrated overnight. I have a fan and sleep with the window open.

A gel face pack - it lives in the freezer and it really helps when I'm getting one. A cold flannel will do the same in a pinch. It can be heated too if that works better for him.

Sometimes a shower helps too.

Hope some of this helps.

I'd be tempted
To make him an appointment and drive him there and just see if he will go in. Pretty pathetic not to seek help and the fact it's impacted so Much on plans and daily life etc for your family is quite sad.

I also suffer from migraines, last one I got lasted four days. I find sumatripan only works if you catch it early. When mine gets so debilitating I usually get a morphine injection and take to bed.

A few years ago a friend told me to take soluble solophdol with a can of full sugar coke. I swear it works, well for me anyway. The double kick of caffeine really works magic so instead of the usual three day migraines it lasts a few hours. I'd rather give birth to a 10lb baby than to go back to regular migraines

If stress seems to be a factor, would it be worth trying something like Rescue Remedy. The pastilles might be an idea.

Hi all.

Back from a great day out in our rainy capital. Highgate Cemetery tour sounds odd, but was magical. Love it there!

Anyway, DP woke up and felt better this afternoon. I've read a lot of the thread to him tonight and discussed potential medication and alternative remedies.

He's promised me when he goes to doctor in next 7-10 days to discuss his high BP and that he'll talk about his migraines.

I told him as a PP suggested that I really did miss him today and asked how can he put up with the pain when there's so many medical and natural potential cutes to explore?! He agreed. He said he's not worried it's sinister, he has just never got round to seeing a doctor.

He agreed and promised me he will get help. Thank you all. I promise to update.

Cures not cutes!

"He's promised me when he goes to doctor in next 7-10 days to discuss his high BP and that he'll talk about his migraines."

Sounds like beta blockers would be a good shout (sorry not read the whole thread, suspect this has been mentioned)

And I hate sumatripran. Makes mine so much worse. Amitriptyline, on the other hand...

Good news OP that you have discussed it and he has agreed to talk to the GP about the migraines.

I have been a life long sufferer myself and am now prescribed Sumatriptan. I can honestly say it’s changed my life, if I feel even a hint of a migraine coming on I can stop it in it’s tracks. I only wish that it had been available years ago.

Nobody needs to put up with that pain when there are now so many options to try. Hope your DP gets help and finds a medication that works for him.

Personally I'd recommend your DH pushes to be seen at a migraine clinic with view to getting tge Botox injections, those have literally stopped my neighbours bad migraines for years, cure it. I'm annoyed o was never offered this, though had plenty of different drugs thrown at me, all with very nasty side effects, so I'd avoid those until last resort. I personally reacted badly to all of the triptan drugs they tried me on & Amitrptinine was exceptionally nasty stuff that made me so dizzy that I couldn't stand up & it took weeks to get only a few pills out of my system & feel normal again, I think I'd rather cope with the headache than that.

Feverfew worked wonders for me for decades & works for my daughter too with her Daith piercings, unfortunately it stopped working whe menopause hit me but I'd definitely recommend trying that as a daily preventative over strong drugs first

It's also worth mentioning that migraines are amongst the long list of symptoms that can be caused by B12 deficiency, so testing that & B12 injections might help. We turned out to need these & it's definitely less frequent than it used to be.

The other thing to think about is his neck. I'm only now, due to it getting worse after extra stress on my neck recently realising that a lot of my migrain & headaches are due to cervical disc problems. GP now thinks so too & I'm waiting to see a neurologist.

I’m glad he’s agreed to see the Dr. It might be worth just letting him know that it might take a few tries to find the right medication. It would be awful if he tried something and it didn’t work then he didn’t go back again. Glad you had a nice day in London.

I realise it's not quite the same, but my husband suffered from depression that he refused to get treatment for. He was miserable and he made my life and our kids lives miserable too, because he 'didnt like taking tablets.'
You can only put up with that shit so.long. stop massaging his shoulders and binging him glasses of water. Tell him to get help or suffer in silence. Don't dance around this any more.
I stayed with my husband for years because I thought he couldn't help being depressed. then it dawned on me. Help was a available but he was refusing to take it.
Also, is it possible that he is using these migraines as a form of manipulation to get out of things he doesn't want to do?
Took me a while to see through that too.

You must make sure he actually follows through this time and sees the doctor though OP. If he's 'never got round to it' before, it will take a jolt to get him out of that pattern.
For all the posters saying they've seen various doctors and it hasn't helped - that's a great shame but this guy hasn't even tried that. It would be a mistake to not even see if a doctor can help.

@Isitnearlyweekend

My specialist told me TO take it at the first hint, but my first migraine sign is my vision going funny, well before the pain, so very different from a headache.
I also lose the taste/taste goes funny.
I've never had the vision/taste changes without it developing into a full migraine with vomiting etc.

Op I get migraines like the ones your DP gets although if I take medication quickly enough I can sometimes head them off.
XH used to fuss and fuss over me when I got them which I hated.
All I wanted was to be left alone to vomit every 30 minutes for the 8 or so hours it lasted.
I'd leave your DP to deal with it himself but medication can help

Op just read about your DP's high BP. When you have a migraine your BP shoots up too so if it's already high he really should see a GP