Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu that everyone said the newborn was the hard bit?

153 replies

MissMarpletheMurderer · 25/10/2019 20:26

The tough bit of parenting is the no sleep newborn stage. I accepted this it was bloody hard. I still kept a diary and I've just read back my feelings. It was hard, exhausting my marriage took a battering bit at least it was divide and conquer. We were a team.
Teenagers are a whole different ball game, they try to divide and conquer us. I am more exhausted and near to the brink than at any parenting age before. I have signed up to a parenting class but I'm very open with my friends and everyone is saying the same. Aibu to suggest the pre teenage part is the BYAGTG (best you are going to get?)

OP posts:
kitk · 25/10/2019 20:28

My favourite age was 2-5. Past the baby bit, lovely personality and not yet corrupted by other kids! She's now pre-teen and it's getting interesting again... I'll report back in another few years 😂😂😂

DoubleFunMum · 25/10/2019 20:30

Oh God this fills me with dread...

Sparklingbrook · 25/10/2019 20:30

I hated the no sleep newborn stage. Recovering from the birth/trying to BF and get to grips with this new 24/7 relentless job.

Parenting teenagers is mentally exhausting. Trying to stay one step ahead of the gigantic toddlers who say 'no' to everything with an infuriating stubborness.

formerbabe · 25/10/2019 20:30

I love the new born stage

Toddler stage is pure hell imo!

Primary age is lovely...still little but much more independent

My eldest is 11 and at secondary. The back chat is hideous...

Sparklingbrook · 25/10/2019 20:33

I quite liked 2-3 years IIRC. No worries about school holidays, they were quite happy with a trip to the garden centre for cake and a matchbox car.

eddiemairswife · 25/10/2019 20:35

My newborns just fed and slept for up to 4 hours between feeds.

CharlieTPatteson · 25/10/2019 20:36

I learnt early- everyone said the newborn was the hardest- it was the easiest for me ( mine were sleepers) so anything after that stage was bloody hard!
Sleeping constantly- only waking for BF every 4-5 hours and not moving overly for 6 months were much easier than moving onto weaning, movement and sleep awareness!
Don’t mention the bloody toddler tantrums! Teenage years- I dread!

PumpkinP · 25/10/2019 20:37

I personally found the newborn stage easy! I have a 2 year old now and it’s tough. I prefer newborn 😩

gluteustothemaximus · 25/10/2019 20:38

Newborns are exhausting. Breastfeeding is so hard.

My 17 year old is lovely. He is far better behaved than the 3 year old at the moment!

managedmis · 25/10/2019 20:39

Feel your pain.

My colleagues son is 19 and she is completely terrorised

Disfordarkchocolate · 25/10/2019 20:39

Wait till you have adult children, interesting is an understatement. However, it's still lovely.

Underthefur · 25/10/2019 20:39

I loved the early stages, newborn, toddlers and right through primary school - each brought its own challenges but I (think) I handled them all ok.

Teenage years are a whole different ball game. Trying to navigate hormones and emotions and friendship challenges and opinions and mental health issues has been, and continues to be, like nothing I've ever dealt with. Every day is a balancing act between being protector, listener, negotiator and bollocker.

But I'd never be without them Grin

KatharinaRosalie · 25/10/2019 20:40

Newborns are boring but dead easy. 1.5-3 was hell.

cattaxi · 25/10/2019 20:40

I have a 11 day old & a 14 year old. Teenagers are definitely more complex! But the do sleep much longer...

LucileDuplessis · 25/10/2019 20:42

Teen years easier than newborn for me so far (but my eldest is nearly 14 so ask me again in a few years!).

Ragwort · 25/10/2019 20:43

I think everyone’s experience is different, I found the baby years easy ... but my baby slept really well, I never had a broken night Blush, but the teenage years were so challenging.... fortunately seem to have got through the worst now that DS is at uni.

AnnaNimmity · 25/10/2019 20:44

yup, teenagers are a whole different ball game. But a whole lot more interesting than newborns. I love how interesting and funny they are.

grafittiartist · 25/10/2019 20:45

Loving the teenage years so far!
13 and 15, and I really enjoy their company.

Skyejuly · 25/10/2019 20:46

I currently have 2 teenagers...a under 5 and a baby

Teenagers are such hard work
I worry for my sanity daily.

Ginfordinner · 25/10/2019 20:48

In my experience the primary school years were the easiest. Newborn was tough for me, but the teenage years were very tough indeed.

Layoverlife · 25/10/2019 20:50

@Underthefur

Every day is a balancing act between being
protector, listener, negotiator and bollocker.

😂🤣 Love it sounds very 007!

Racmactac · 25/10/2019 20:53

Give me my babies back anyday.

This teenage shit is bloody hard. And guilt laden and I'm failing at it.

hammeringinmyhead · 25/10/2019 20:57

Mine's 1. I'm looking forward to him not constantly trying to throw himself against things, pull over furniture, dive over the side of his cot, and kick the raincover off the pushchair.

GetUpAgain · 25/10/2019 20:59

For me the hardest part was being pregnant and having a toddler at the same time. Never been so tired.

However, I think society looks out for new parents much more kindly than it does parents of teenagers. It is really hard being responsible for someone you love so much but that needs to 'reject you' as part of their development. Add in things like drugs and mental health and it's even harder. Yet almost no one asks you how it's going, sympathises, encourages. E.g. work colleagues who would expect you to be able to work whatever hours 'now your kid is old enough to be home alone'... it's not that simple.

Fink · 25/10/2019 20:59

DD is 9, nearly 10, and in puberty. Please don't tell me this is the best it's going to get!