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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think you don't assume the cake is for everyone.

128 replies

Alice6 · 23/10/2019 19:06

Last night I baked a cake. It was a small loaf cake that my colleagues and I had been talking about and I said I would give it a go. It took me quite a while to make and the ingredients weren't cheap. I brought it in and said to one of my colleagues "Sandra, I finally baked it!, would you like a slice? There's a knife here." Pointing to the table where we sit. As she was cutting her piece a few people stood behind her. I hadn't realised that's what they were hanging around for until I looked around and saw most of it gone. I work with about 100 people and about 75% of them use this staff room so I am not making cake for nearly 75 people when I want to treat the few colleagues that I am close to. I wouldn't mind making enough for everyone if there was only 10 of us for example so not to exclude a few people but not this many! AIBU to think you don't just assume you are entitled to a share of something when you haven't even been offered it? When people bring in treats for everyone they will leave them near the microwaves on the worktop with a note not just a tiny cake on a table! I felt too awkward telling them to leave it alone when they had already taken most of it. I'm annoyed that the people I made it for didn't get any after the effort I made. Lesson learned: keep cake in a locked box at break times when you work with locusts!

OP posts:
Gretafamily · 23/10/2019 19:08

YANBU especially if you work with so many people. If you were only a team of 5 then fair enough everyone can have a slice but I'm guessing majority of people who had a piece didn't even know you made it? I would never just dig in to some cake at work unless offered

LellyMcKelly · 23/10/2019 19:09

I can see where you’re coming from, though in our place food on the kitchen counter (e.g. leftovers from events or meetings) is communal food.

Crunchymum · 23/10/2019 19:12

You either cut it up at home and hand out individual portions or you say "Sorry Dave, I only made a small cake for my team, there isn't enough for everyone" when random Dave from accounts tries to snaffle a slice.

myself2020 · 23/10/2019 19:12

YANBU.i work in a big company (about 150 of us per floor), if its free for all it gets left at a specific place. if its clear it won’t be enough for everyone, people take a tiny piece (equivalent of 1 fork full). never a whole slice. so even IF they had misunderstood that the cake wasn’t free, they shouldn’t have taken so much!

Passthecherrycoke · 23/10/2019 19:13

I’m confused about the logistics of this. You looked away, turned around and loads of people had eaten your cake? What were they, super sonic? It just seems so odd for them all to be hanging round pouncing in seconds

emilybrontescorsett · 23/10/2019 19:13

Yanbu
If course you can't cater for 100 people.
Next time I think you would be best cutting the cake and specifically handing it round to your friends.

Igotthemheavyboobs · 23/10/2019 19:15

Why would you leave it in the kitchen? Were you sat with on your table whilst having lunch or was it on the side on a plate? If the latter, I think it's fair game in a communal kitchen.

Could you not have taken it to the main desk area where you and your colleagues sit?

piefacedClique · 23/10/2019 19:15

That drives me mad! I love baking and often take stuff in to work.. last time people were offering my cake out to everyone.... oooo Sandra.... have you had a slice of piefacedcliques cake? I don’t even know Sandra! I’ve met her once! Hands off my lemon drizzle FFS! 🤣🤣🤣

AthollPlace · 23/10/2019 19:15

If you put it on the table in a communal area people will assume it’s first come first served. If it was only for specific people you should have sliced it and dished it out.

Alsohuman · 23/10/2019 19:15

I’ve never yet made an edible cake so I’d see it as a compliment.

Far2go46 · 23/10/2019 19:16

Sandra?

DisneyMadeMeDoIt · 23/10/2019 19:18

Having it in the staff room was an error. At my office we keep them around our actual desks if it’s only for certain people.

VanyaHargreeves · 23/10/2019 19:18

YABU I think

If the cake is only meant for a select few then you make sure that the cake is only brought out when the select few are present

If you leave it on display in a busy, communal place, you can't then police who eats it without appearing quite rude.

Fuckenstein · 23/10/2019 19:19

I think putting it in the kitchen was a mistake, you could have clicked it at home and just passed a slice to your friends at their desk.

adaline · 23/10/2019 19:19

I don't think you should bring in a whole cake if it's just intended to be for one or two people.

Ohffs66 · 23/10/2019 19:20

I used to work in a big office (several hundred people per floor), split into small teams. Unwritten rule was treats were for your team only unless you specifically invited someone else to have one. There was one woman, no idea who she was, didnt work anywhere near us, who would always float past, help herself to whatever (sometimes it would be literally a packet of KitKats when there are obvs only a small number to go around) and go 'ooh lemon cake I LOVE lemon cake' and walk off with a piece clutched in her sweaty mitt. We could see her doing it in other places on the floor as well, i swear she used to walk the floor deliberately lookimg for goodies to steal. After a few times I actually stopped her and told her they were for our team only. She was oh SO offended, apparently everyone knew that anything left out on a desk / top of a cabinet was fair game Hmm.

Funnily enough she stopped it as soon as I called her out even though we continued to leave our team goodies in the same place.

Some people are just greedy!

Pilot12 · 23/10/2019 19:20

You should have kept the cake in a tin and put it on your desk/in your locker/bag and just shared it among your friends. If you put it in a communal place of course people are going to help themselves.

ThatMuppetShow · 23/10/2019 19:25

you are not wrong, but as above, your mistake was to put an unsliced cake in the communal area. It does seem like you have made it for the team.

Igotthemheavyboobs · 23/10/2019 19:26

Ohffs66

Our office is set up exactly like this, all food at the end of pods is for that team but in the kitchen is for everyone (that doesn't happen often 🤣)

wildcherries · 23/10/2019 19:34

Fair game if in a communal kitchen, I think.

BoomBoomsCousin · 23/10/2019 19:39

YNBU to not want to feed your entire workplace. But in this instance YABU to complain about the behaviour of your colleagues. It would be pretty rude to put nice food out on display that you aren’t letting people have so it’s not unreasonable for people to assume that a cut cake left out on a communal table is up for grabs.

You’ll know better net time.

TinyGhostWriter · 23/10/2019 19:43

If you put it on the table in a communal area people will assume it’s first come first served. If it was only for specific people you should have sliced it and dished it out.

I agree

pictish · 23/10/2019 19:46

Yabu...any cake in the staff room at my workplace is fair game and there’s 70 odd of us as well. Cake doesn’t last long.

embarassednewname · 23/10/2019 19:47

YABU. At my work, everyone would assume you are sharing the cake with everyone if it's in the kitchen.

If you put it on the table in a communal area people will assume it’s first come first served. If it was only for specific people you should have sliced it and dished it out.

This exactly

Spied · 23/10/2019 19:53

Looks bit rude allowing one person a slice and not others who were there. I'd assume if you brought the whole thing it was fair game.

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