To think you don't assume the cake is for everyone.

[Alice6]

Last night I baked a cake. It was a small loaf cake that my colleagues and I had been talking about and I said I would give it a go. It took me quite a while to make and the ingredients weren't cheap. I brought it in and said to one of my colleagues "Sandra, I finally baked it!, would you like a slice? There's a knife here." Pointing to the table where we sit. As she was cutting her piece a few people stood behind her. I hadn't realised that's what they were hanging around for until I looked around and saw most of it gone. I work with about 100 people and about 75% of them use this staff room so I am not making cake for nearly 75 people when I want to treat the few colleagues that I am close to. I wouldn't mind making enough for everyone if there was only 10 of us for example so not to exclude a few people but not this many! AIBU to think you don't just assume you are entitled to a share of something when you haven't even been offered it? When people bring in treats for everyone they will leave them near the microwaves on the worktop with a note not just a tiny cake on a table! I felt too awkward telling them to leave it alone when they had already taken most of it. I'm annoyed that the people I made it for didn't get any after the effort I made. Lesson learned: keep cake in a locked box at break times when you work with locusts!

@ThatMuppetShow So, food just sitting there is there to be eaten by all and sundry, no questions asked? I for one would never just pick something up and start eating it, no questions asked. I'd want to know who kindly brought something in so that I could thank them first 🤷‍♀️ Just because 'rudeness is everywhere' doesn't make it OK.

What is this amazing cake?! YABU for not saying what it was ;)

@Pannalash. Speak to the iPhone, it has a mind if it’s own. 🤷🏻‍♀️

So, food just sitting there is there to be eaten by all and sundry, no questions asked?
In my office, yes it is. That's exactly why somebody put it there, and not in a box with their name on it.

Due a couple of unfortunate incidents when people have misused the "reply to all" email function, management has kindly indicated that the internal emails to "all" should no longer be used to talk about bloody cakes or Donna's birthday card.

I'm glad you've taken on board what others have said OP.

I'd had also said similar: cake and treats on shared table is fair game, or at the very least I don't think it's reasonable to complain if some gets eaten. Team things should really be kept separate.

I agree with those who say it's your fault for leaving it there. What I can't understand is why you stood and watched a bunch of people share it out amongst them just to complain about it later. Why didn't you say something?

Taking cake into work and saying only a select few can eat it is like turning up to a party with a bottle of wine and saying only your mates can drink it!

Communal in our office would be left with a note on the work surfaces. On a table people were having lunch at wouldn't be communal. Not saying please or thank you would be challenged.

YANBU I used to work in a large open plan office, if someone brought in a homemade cake for the team, then we never had vultures stealing it (unless invited to do so). But put cake in the kitchen area, it evaporated. Even on MacMillan Coffee Morning day, people would raid the cake unless reminded they needed to contribute money. Stealing cake from the desk is not on.
Now, I work from home. No-one steals my cake/chocolate/gin.

YABU. It’s a cake, not a sandwich or a bag of crisps. Cakes are for multiple people, not an individual’s lunch so yes a cake in a communal area is fair game.

You can’t compare it to non-shareable food like a sandwich; it’s nowhere near the same.

Sounds like a misunderstanding so I couldn't get fussed over it.

I agree if it’s sitting out in communal area it’s there to be shared .

Jesus christ am I weird then? I wouldn't help myself to a homemade cake unless invited to on the basis that someones made it!.

YADNBU.

You're BU if you don't tell us what kind of cake it was

You shouldn't have put the cake on the communal staff room. My office rule ( and I find most offices) is that if you don't want to share with everyone put in your desk or in the cupboard.
If it is the staff room countertop it is for everyone. So I think YABU for not understanding unwritten office rules :) I am sure your work colleagues wouldn't have taken if they though you didn't want them to have it

Want cake now. Off to bake a cake only for me

@Alice6 I completely understand the lab situation. There is NO WAY food is allowed by the desks so all food is restricted to the communal area.

Everyone else here seems to be implying that food placed in a communal is for general consumption. So lunches? Snacks? My pack of biscuits I brought in as a treat for myself?

Really they were absolute f*^%ing gannets and really, REALLY should have asked you. I'd have thought your friend taking the first slice would have been more assertive with the others behind her too - rather than just passing the knife. She is part to blame for not putting the lid back on and passing it back to you. It would have been obvious from her position that they were lining up to take some.

If I were you I would want this clarifying in some form (email or notice on the wall) to the users of that room now. Especially as this was a specialty and cost a lot of money. Not a 50p pack of rich tea biscuits.
Cake is only to share communally if it is labelled as such or left on X counter. Otherwise JUST BLOODY ASK!! Not much to ask of adults.

Also we have the roving pigs who eat off every group's supply in the office. "JUST NO - feck off to your own group!"

You shouldn't have put the cake on the communal staff room except if you work in an area where food is forbidden so only have a communal area to eat in.
What happens to her lunch? Left on the table means help yourself?

My workplace is one where a cake or other treats left out is seen as fair game. It's a standard thing - e.g. when it's your birthday you bring treats in and leave them on the side, and people help themselves.

People don't do it with lunches, as that's just common sense. Lunch is functional, not a treat, and people bring their lunch in expecting to eat it all themselves.

Same with biscuits (although I don't know anyone who'd bring a whole pack in just for them). Biscuits left out (not in a cupboard) in a communal area = fair game. Biscuits on someone's desk or in a cupboard = leave alone.

But the only reason anyone would ever bring in a largeish treat and start slicing/opening it in front of everyone would be because it's for sharing. Getting out a cake in front of everyone and then only giving some to a chosen few is a bit rude, isn't it?

If you put stuff on the counter and don;t leave a message like DO NOT TOUCH, of course people will help themselves to it- that's the etiquette around where I work. It's a bit rude to bring a cake and only gie it to one person, as 7 or 8 others are around and are not asked to help themselves. If you only want a few friends to try it, then unfortunately you need to be a bit more discreet, but if I was in a staffroom and someone brought a cake and told someone sitting next to me to help themselves and left me out, I would not feel nice.
But then my workplace always has loads of cake everyone brings and we all happily share.

@HillRunner
Why would it be rude if only 10 of the people you work with have some rather than the 150 people use the shared space?
This isn't a cozy little tea room accessible to only your team. It's a room open to 150 people. That is equivalent to nearly a whole school worth of primary school children.
There MUST be some demarcation between teams otherwise on birthdays you would need to buy for 150 people or be considered rude!

@Alice6 to come back to something you said- if you bring a treat to a room where there are a bunch of people, it's not really nice to just say to one or two to help themselves. It's like when kids bring candy to school for their birthday but only give it to their friends in front of other kids in class who get nothing. Maybe just make a cheaper cake next time :)

Why would it be rude if only 10 of the people you work with have some rather than the 150 people use the shared space?

It's not the number of people, it's the publicly cutting it that makes it rude. If you don't want to share, fine, but slice it somewhere else and offer it to people individually. Maybe wrap the slices at home?

This isn't a cozy little tea room accessible to only your team. It's a room open to 150 people.

Yes, sounds exactly the same as my workplace.