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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think you don't assume the cake is for everyone.

128 replies

Alice6 · 23/10/2019 19:06

Last night I baked a cake. It was a small loaf cake that my colleagues and I had been talking about and I said I would give it a go. It took me quite a while to make and the ingredients weren't cheap. I brought it in and said to one of my colleagues "Sandra, I finally baked it!, would you like a slice? There's a knife here." Pointing to the table where we sit. As she was cutting her piece a few people stood behind her. I hadn't realised that's what they were hanging around for until I looked around and saw most of it gone. I work with about 100 people and about 75% of them use this staff room so I am not making cake for nearly 75 people when I want to treat the few colleagues that I am close to. I wouldn't mind making enough for everyone if there was only 10 of us for example so not to exclude a few people but not this many! AIBU to think you don't just assume you are entitled to a share of something when you haven't even been offered it? When people bring in treats for everyone they will leave them near the microwaves on the worktop with a note not just a tiny cake on a table! I felt too awkward telling them to leave it alone when they had already taken most of it. I'm annoyed that the people I made it for didn't get any after the effort I made. Lesson learned: keep cake in a locked box at break times when you work with locusts!

OP posts:
SmilingButClueless · 24/10/2019 18:23

I now want the cake recipe Grin

HillRunner · 24/10/2019 18:24

And yes, in my workplace people buy treats for everyone on their birthday.There are three floors, and each floor has a few large desk areas, which commonly house 60 - 120 people.

When you bring treats, they are for your whole area, and if someone else happens to pass through (on their way to a meeting perhaps), then it's fair game to them as well.

YouDancin · 24/10/2019 18:40

@HillRunner Where?
She works in a chemical industry where food is not allowed in any other space. There is no "private space"
This is a room used by 150 other people. You don't seem to be grasping the scale. This is a big restaurant size number of people.
If you have a birthday in a restaurant you're not expected to share your birthday cake with all the other customers.
Why should you?
And why should you share with 140 random others who just happen to use the same space as you?

HillRunner · 24/10/2019 18:43

I am grasping the scale perfectly. It's around the same number people would bring treats in for where I work.

She could very easily have sliced it at home, packaged it up, and passed the slices to the people who she wanted to have them while they were eating lunch.

motherheroic · 24/10/2019 18:43

It is not rude or mean to only offer to the people you bought the food for. We are not children.

Aunaturalmama · 24/10/2019 18:45

If the cake was small I would assume it was for close friends only not 100 people! Rude to assume honestly.

HillRunner · 24/10/2019 18:45

And why should you share with 140 random others who just happen to use the same space as you?

No reason other than workplace etiquette. Where I work that is just how it is, and a brief look upthread shows that my workplace isn't at all unusual.

It works both ways - you bring in more treats, but you also get more.

YouDancin · 24/10/2019 18:45

Or they could just not help themselves to something they were not offered.
Adults.

Celestine70 · 24/10/2019 18:45

YANBU. But typical entitled greedy people. At least you know next time.

HillRunner · 24/10/2019 18:52

And the reason it is different when a cake is brought out in a restaurant is because restaurant etiquette is different to workplace etiquette. Etiquette can be pretty arbitrary, but I have never worked anywhere where you could leave a cut cake, with a knife, out on a shared surface and expect it to still be there when you come back.

The solution is simple: put it in a tin with a note on it, put it in your food cupboard, slice and package it up at home, whatever...

Sara107 · 24/10/2019 19:30

I’m intrigued by what the cake was! A small loaf cake, but took a long time to make and used expensive ingredients- what type of cake was it?

FelicisNox · 24/10/2019 19:46

YANBU and I'm gobsmacked at some of the comments as usual.

Some of you are saying that if cake is on display anywhere near you it's fair game even if you've not actually been OFFERED it?

You manner-less freaks!

I would NEVER help myself to anything unless it was specifically offered to me. To do otherwise CF in the extreme!

1st come 1st served my ass!

Chloe84 · 24/10/2019 20:07

”Sandra, I finally baked it!, would you like a slice?”

Sounds like you announced the cake was there like the town crier Confused

Of course you don’t need to offer cake to everyone, but it’s quite mean to put cake in a communal area and then limit it to a few. You should cut your team a slice each. This is office etiquette 101.

LolaSmiles · 24/10/2019 20:10

Some of you are saying that if cake is on display anywhere near you it's fair game even if you've not actually been OFFERED it?
No, we are saying that if you leave sweet treats on a communal table in a staff room then and announce there's cake then it's hardly surprising that people eat it.

If someone has a single cupcake with their lunch on a desk in the staffroom, nobody would touch it.
If someone has a slice of cake with their stuff where they're working or loose on the side whilst they make a call, nobody would touch it.

If someone brings a whole cake in,cuts it and leaves it on a communal table and people have been eating it then it's hardly surprising for normal workplace norms to be assumed.

Pukkatea · 24/10/2019 20:19

People talking about manners and rudeness...you do realise that adhering to social norms on appropriate behaviour IS manners, right?

Barney60 · 24/10/2019 20:19

if any one puts cake out where I work as they do we all help ourselves, you cant leave cake out and say to people you can have a slice , you cant, so I think you should of cut slices for those you wanted to share it with, and handed it to them personally.

ThatMuppetShow · 24/10/2019 20:24

Some of you are saying that if cake is on display anywhere near you it's fair game even if you've not actually been OFFERED it?

well, a cake on display in most offices constitute an offer...

LolaSmiles · 24/10/2019 20:47

well, a cake on display in most offices constitute an offer...
Exactly, and yet people are still arguing that because they'd never engage in what seems to be entirely standard workplace behaviour that somehow the rest of the world are really rude and entitled and mannerless freaks.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 24/10/2019 20:54

I think I need to know the cake that silently drew an entire office towards it like a sugary delicious black hole.

@Alice6 get back here NOW. Recipe or it didn't happen.

Aridane · 24/10/2019 20:57

YABU - cake in communal area in work is open for all

Aunaturalmama · 25/10/2019 16:33

I see a ton of fat greedy people that steal other people’s treats regularly and now feel bad about it realizing they are in the wrong? LOL. Too funny.

I have never once saw a treat- especially a small one- and thought oh I can’t help myself I gotta take a piece. Ha! If something is out, you all think it’s okay to steal it? Without an offer to have some? What a joke!

Aunaturalmama · 25/10/2019 16:33

And yes recipe please!!!

LolaSmiles · 25/10/2019 16:37

I see a ton of fat greedy people that steal other people’s treats regularly and now feel bad about it realizing they are in the wrong?
Whereas I see some people who need a grip handing to them because they're too busy clutching pearls and claiming outrage at what is clearly a fairly established workplace phenomenon.

I don't have a sweet tooth, and even I know that if you put treats on a communal table in a communal area that the norm is they're to be eaten, but if you want to do something for a small group then you share directly or all sit together and enjoy it.

All this talk of stealing and people having no manners is absolutely hilarious.

BarrenFieldofFucks · 25/10/2019 16:38

On your desk? Yanbu. Out in a communal area? Reasonable for them to assume that it is for communal consumption.

transformandriseup · 25/10/2019 20:42

I have never once saw a treat- especially a small one- and thought oh I can’t help myself I gotta take a piece. Ha! If something is out, you all think it’s okay to steal it? Without an offer to have some? What a joke!

It depends where the cake is, in our office we have an area for cakes and if one is left there we presume it's for all to eat.

I love cake and if there is one in the cake area I will probably have a slice however I always find out who brought it in and ask them first and say happy birthday etc. Many people don't do this though and in fact we have one man who will take at least three slices just for himself and then see if there is anymore left at the end of the day.

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