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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dinner at childminders

83 replies

Paperyfish · 22/10/2019 20:17

My dd (7) has started at junior school in September and goes to a childminder one afternoon after school when I work later. She’s there till 6.30. I pay the childminder and additional £6 to give her tea ( dinner/ supper - what ever regional word you use for her evening meal) not just a snack. She takes a packed lunch to school so I wanted her to have a decent, substantial meal in the evening. The childminder often gives them things such as a toasted bagel with honey or scotch pancakes or a banana sandwich. She says my dd wanted these and eats them. I think most of the other kids have a hot lunch at school- so I guess I understand that they might find this acceptable...but I don’t think it’s really fair if I’m paying extra for an actual meal. I’d regard these things as a hefty after school snack. Am I being a bit precious? Would it be appropriate for me to request she has a proper meal even if the others aren’t? It doesn’t need to be fancy or complex- jacket potatoes and beans, fish fingers and mash, pasta and sauce, omelettes and salad etc kind of things. Quick after schools type basic meals. Am I being unreasonable to insist or are bread based toasty sort of things generally accepted as a meal for 7 years olds after school? And do you think these meals are worth an extra £6? As I’m thinking I might as well just do her a second lunch box!

OP posts:
Dutchesss · 22/10/2019 23:02

The childminder is feeding your daughter sugary crap for dinner, I wouldn't be happy at all, never mind the fact it's not worth £6.

underground76 · 22/10/2019 23:04

YANBU. My mum used to be a registered childminder and kids whose parents paid for tea got a proper meal. Nothing remotely fancy - pasta and sauce, fish fingers with oven chips and peas, jacket potato with tuna or beans, pizza/quiche and salad, that kind of thing.

One kid was very fussy and he quite often used to have a sort of ploughmans with bread, cheese and pickle and some fruit, so not a hot meal as such, but it was still more than a snack.

kateandme · 22/10/2019 23:10

BeesKnees4 I've never had one.is it something I could get the same pleasure out of as an adult.i feel deprived. 🙂

Babysharkisanearworm · 22/10/2019 23:11

If she said it would be a hot meal then I would not expect a high tea.
Ask her for the week's tea menu in advance so you know what she has planned to feed your child from her list of hot meals as you are concerned she is not getting what you thought.

BackforGood · 22/10/2019 23:37

She's robbing you blind!
I'm not a CMer but have used several over the years, for different reasons.
Most would give the dc fruit / toast as an after-school snack as part of the 'minding'', without charging anything extra.

As she is clearly considering a meal as a separate transaction - which is fair enough, IMO - then she needs to fulfil that part of the contract. Firstly I think it only ought to be £2 - £3 at the absolute tops, but it needs to be a proper meal. I would be happy with her having a portion of whatever the CMer's family were having the night before - shepherd's pie, roast dinner, lasagne, fish pie, curry, whatever so she didn't have to cook a separate meal, but it needs to be a well balanced meal if she is charging to separately to make it.
BabyShark's idea about asking for a list of the things she is going to be served, makes sense. You would be absolutely right to challenge her as to why your dd hasn't been getting the full cooked dinner you are being over charged for.

Howlovely · 23/10/2019 06:39

I think I'd have to make a bit of a point and say something like,
CM, DD has been saying she has only been having a banana sandwich/bagel for dinner at your house and won't tell me what else she's had! Would you mind telling me what evening meals she has at yours please?
If she says yes, it's just a bagel, then you can definitely question the £6 charge and how she is blatantly taking the piss. Imagine if are charged every parent £6 for lunch and dinner? She would be absolutely raking it in!

dottiedodah · 23/10/2019 07:03

I would speak to CM ,£6.00 seems an awful lot for a snack! If she wants to eat the same things as the other children ,then pay a reduced rate (or find another CM)! Maybe could do a pizza or ready meal for her when she gets home?

manicmij · 23/10/2019 10:04

Your DD probably has the snack just after being collected from school so would probably be ready for something decent when you are home. If you are going to provide a nutritious course why not give her at home. Most childminders I know and where I live is polluted with them seem to just offer snack type meals and kids are collected up to 7 pm. You are being ripped off.

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