Dinner at childminders

[Paperyfish]

My dd (7) has started at junior school in September and goes to a childminder one afternoon after school when I work later. She’s there till 6.30. I pay the childminder and additional £6 to give her tea ( dinner/ supper - what ever regional word you use for her evening meal) not just a snack. She takes a packed lunch to school so I wanted her to have a decent, substantial meal in the evening. The childminder often gives them things such as a toasted bagel with honey or scotch pancakes or a banana sandwich. She says my dd wanted these and eats them. I think most of the other kids have a hot lunch at school- so I guess I understand that they might find this acceptable...but I don’t think it’s really fair if I’m paying extra for an actual meal. I’d regard these things as a hefty after school snack. Am I being a bit precious? Would it be appropriate for me to request she has a proper meal even if the others aren’t? It doesn’t need to be fancy or complex- jacket potatoes and beans, fish fingers and mash, pasta and sauce, omelettes and salad etc kind of things. Quick after schools type basic meals. Am I being unreasonable to insist or are bread based toasty sort of things generally accepted as a meal for 7 years olds after school? And do you think these meals are worth an extra £6? As I’m thinking I might as well just do her a second lunch box!

[BeesKnees4]

How are there people who have never had a banana sandwich? Has to be brown bread.
OP your daughter must be hungry from lunchtime until 6.30 and only gets a bagel/pancake, I’d expect a hot meal about 5/5.30, CM is a chancer.

[TheMustressMhor]

It's probably because the other children are eating this and your DD wants to join in. And that is fine.

But not for £6.

That is extortionate, even if the CM was providing a cooked meal.

Could you just let your DD have the snack (and therefore pay nothing extra) and feed her yourself when she comes home?

I appreciate that you were trying to avoid the bother of this but I think you need to re-evaluate.

[Lindy2]

Are you paying £6 on top of the childcare costs for a meal? That would be quite a cost for 1 dinner and what your daughter is being served is really just a snack not a proper meal.

Is your daughter being offered an alternative meal but is choosing the snack, or is that all she is being offered? If the childminder doesn't usually do full cooked meals then you can't really expect her to cook something different just for your child. What you can do is send a suitable dinner for your daughter that the childminder can heat up ie something like a pasta bake that just needs microwaving to warm up.

I'm a childminder and have always offered cooked after school meals. I am currently looking at moving towards heating up parent provided food going forward though due to the huge amount of waste from fussy eaters.

[basicbitch16]

CF 100%. She should not be profiteering that much from the meal you pay for your child to have a dinner!! Jesus. Even if your DC had TWO bagels with toppings she'd still be making £5+ profit!!

[Paddington68]

Could you try her with school lunch about £2.20 for two courses.
Then she can have the packed lunch for tea.

[waterrat]

If you want a tactful approach speak to the cm and explain you need her to have a hot meal because if the school dinner situation.

I used a childminder for years and it is five an hour including hot food.

The cm is being really lazy

[HelloAgainYou]

I would do batch cooking and give her some meals to put in the freezer for her to cook. This is ridiculous and I'd be fuming my child wasn't having a hot food dinner.

[CottonHeadedNinyMuggins]

Is it £6 a day or £6 per week (so about what... £1.15ish a meal?)

Her 'meals'' are definitely not evening meal size - more snacks/breakfast. Definitely not enough either way to give a little one a substantial meal to keep going until the next morning!

[BillHadersNewWife]

To be honest I would talk to the childminder to ascertain a few things. It could be DD is the only child NOT having the snack and she just wants to be like the others.

I'd let her have the snack and have dinner at home. 7.00pm isn't terribly late.

[cdtaylornats]

A "snack" that your DD will eat is surely better than a hot meal she wont.

[CottonHeadedNinyMuggins]

Sorry love I've just seen it's once a week and not each week. Then definitely no!! that is far far too much!

[SunshineCake]

Food wise what she is giving is fine if you weren't paying £6 for something costing less than a quid!!

[namina]

YANBU I think that's crazy especially when ur paying £6

[Crinkle77]

A banana sandwich? Didn’t even know that was a thing confused
What you've never heard of a banana butty?

I'd sack the CM dinner and feed her when you get home tbh. 7pm shouldn't be too late for a 7yo
I would say 7pm is too late for kids to have their tea.

[1Morewineplease]

YANBU ... you need to talk to your childminder else pay for school dinner and accept a childminder snack . £6 seems to be free money here!

[clucky3]

Never mind banana sandwiches, the only way to eat banana is on toast

[willstarttomorrow]

Also OP, I had the same with DD. She wanted pack lunches to eat with her friends, then their was a change in how school lunch's were delivered and she wanted that. I quickly discovered whay constitutes a 'hot meal' at school lunch time is pretty poor and overpriced. As parents I think we have an obsession about our children getting a 'good hot meal'. They just need a good meal. So send a good packed lunch, ask for a good snack meal at the child minder, make sure they have a good breakfast. You may need to offer food again at home but if your child has had nutritionally balanced meals throughout the day is there any reason that it has to be a full hot meal? The main thing is that children sit down to eat together and learn how to not be fussy about food. The whole 'one hot meal a day' is probably quite outdated.

[Butterfly84]

Definitely insist she has a hot dinner and if the CM has an issue with this, just say you'll do her a dinner at home then. Can't believe you requested a proper dinner and it's just been a bagel etc.

If the CM didn't have any ideas on what to cook, she should have just asked you. Seems like she doesn't want to cook for just one child...even though you're paying her.

[Tanith]

This is the sort of snack I'd give them as soon as they got in from school (they are always ravenous!), but I'd follow it up with a cooked evening meal later.

I would check with the childminder. Perhaps she's doing the same, but your DD refuses the later meal? In which case, of course, she needs to cut back on the snack.

[Aprillygirl]

That's a complete and utter pisstake. Even if your DD is happy with it, she's being fed the cheapest and easiest food going and expecting you to fork out 6 quid for it? Fuck that. Pack her something similar yourself to tide her over then give her a light hot supper at home.

Banana and peanut butter on toast is food of the gods btw.

[TheOrigRightsofwomen]

How much do you pay in total for an after school session, and how far away from school is it (as the fuel costs are probably 45p/mile)?

[ShinyGiratina]

In many restaurants, you'd get change from £6 for a children's meal!

£6 for a snack or even a hot meal is extortionate.

[TriciaH87]

I would be pissed too if I paid £6 for 2 slices of bread and a banana. Or for a bloody bagel and honey. You could send a months supply if it's one afternoon a week for that price. Ask her to provide a proper meal or tell her you will send her a snack and feed her once home. I would be annoyed if I was charged that for a snack. Can feed kids a meal and dessert out for that price.

[AdriannaP]

YANBU

I don’t pay extra for dinner at CM and my daughter gets home cooked food like lasagna, pasta, chicken and rice... etc Always with plenty of vegetables.